LikeABird Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 We broke up a one year ago. Although we dated only for four months, i fell inlove and became very emotionally attached (partly because he was the first guy i ever slept with, and the only one so far ). We didnt meet since the split, but stayed in some contact, mainly emails sms msgs and Damned Facebook. With time i noticed that his replies were getting shorter and he started to say less and less about his life. Which is why i removed him from Facebook, i was fed up (so much for 'staying friends'). One month after removing him, i sent him a short one line email wishin him marry xmas (i know.. i know.... bad). he replied and thanked me and asked hows things with me. I then replied shortly about what i've been up to, and then asked how he was doing. He didnt reply. Fast forward 3 months, he replied. he apologised and said that his account was stuck with facebook msgs so he stopped checking it altogether (.......). I was surprised to see an email from him after all this time, and i replied saying jokingly that its such a surprise and i dorgot about him already, said that im about to leave the country, and added that its good to hear from him and he can give a ring sometimes. i thought i wont hear from him again, maybe in 3 months time haha! But no, he replied after one day asking if im going home. i replied by saying that yes and its time to move on to bigger and better things (i was reffering to my personal life, nothing to do with him). He replied the next day (i thought its odd how all of the sudden he's replying so quickly) saying that it would be great to meet for a drink before i go, gave me his number and explained that he lost his fone in the past so he doesnt have my number (bollox). he wrote that he is living now with an old school friend but he's coming to town every day, and asked about what i do now. Now, reading this email confused me. meeting up? what for? so what if im leaving, its not like we were friends all of this time. confused me enough to think about him again (memories resurfaces) and whether or not i should meet him. So i decided to go into his Facebook profile, which i didnt visit for months, since i removed him. Now people, hear my shock. I saw pictures of him and his girlfriend. looking very happy and inlove, pictured in different locations, including with his family over xmas. she is that 'old school friend' he was talking about. he is living with her. so it must be serious. i felt so sick to my stomach. it felt like ten million small knifes cutting through my heart. i didnt expect that. i mean one of the reasons that i removed him from facebook was because i didnt want to see him with other girls, and than BOOM. i never imgained that he is in a relationship since he emailed me and wanted to meet. Now, what should i do? should i reply to his email at all? why does he want to meet up, why he didnt mention his girlfriend? anybody have a similar experience?
blackbird Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Who knows about his intentions. He could just be curious about how you are doing, or he could be trying to keep a line open in case things don't work out with his girlfriend, or he could be trying to make his girlfriend jealous, or whatever. I don't think it really matters. It's your reaction that says it all: ten million small knives cutting through your heart. You're still emotionally attached and you'll be doing yourself no favors by continuing contact with him. Let him go.
Author LikeABird Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 because i removed myself from his facebook months ago. Also, he didnt change his status to 'in a relationship', rather, its blank. (yes i know that many people dont like to share their relationship status on facebook, me including). what the hell is he playing with? especially if he's living with her! does he just want to hurt me?
blackbird Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Again, stop obsessing about his motivations. Snap out of it. Move on.
norajane Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 He probably thinks you've moved on and don't care anymore - because you made it sound that way - so it is safe for him to be in contact with you now. He probably could tell before that the 'friend' thing was more about you wanting to stay in touch so you could leave the door open to getting back together. And he was with his new gf, so that couldn't work. But now that you're leaving, he figured it wouldn't be like 10 million small knives cutting into your heart if you heard from him. But it is hurtful, so reply back that you don't have time to see him, and forget about him.
Author LikeABird Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 you right guys, thanks, i dont know why it is so painful for me right now though
s_n_d Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 because i removed myself from his facebook months ago. Also, he didnt change his status to 'in a relationship', rather, its blank. (yes i know that many people dont like to share their relationship status on facebook, me including). what the hell is he playing with? especially if he's living with her! does he just want to hurt me? My ex too has not changed his status to "in a relationship" and he has a girlfriend now. My ex is the kind of person who does share relationship status' and such things all the time so It was surprising to me that he didnt change it. When him and I were together, his relationship status was changed the very next day. This is all a bit awkward and weird to me...All the secrecy. Either way, if i obessed about it I would go insane. I agree with the other guys. You need to let it be.
trulysomething Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Maybe he didn't change it because he knew it would bother you. My ex never even used facebook before he met me. Now HIS ex is back in his life and we had a conversation about facebook, etc. He's told me that he doesn't even want to use facebook anymore or anything, so he has no plans to update or change things even though she wants him too...but yes, I have deleted him from my friends anyway. *phew* He's actually pretty considerate from time to time when it suits him! *LOL*
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