Just a Friend?

[jord237]

Hi Here's my problem. I really like this girl but I don't know what to do. Here's some background:I met this girl at the beginning of this schoolyear. We'd gone to the same school together the past year but Ihad never seen or talked to her before even though I had known some of her friends. We hit it off immediately I saw her out at the bars after I first met her and she gave me her number.

 

Anyways we started hanging out more we I had a class with her and we talked all the time in it and we'd always try to meet up at the bars on the weekends. I thought everthing was great and then I found out that she had a boyfriend. The reason I had never known earlier is because they have a really weird relationship.They almost never talk and they never go out together. Even her good friends say there relationship is ****ed up and won't last long. She even told me that her and her boyfriend were gonna break up at this end of this year because he's a senior and will be leaving school. But the minute I heard that I stopped trying to hook up with her because I thinkit's wrong to make a move on a girl who has a boyfriend.

 

Anyways since then we've gotten even more close, we have even more classes together and we talk/text almost everyday. We even watch this television show together usually by ourselves and we just finished the show and she already had another show that she wanted to watch with me. We flirt when we watch the show too, and it seems like she always wants to touch me. One time she found some tape and kept putting it on my leg and ripping it off and then she would tape my hands together, it was really weird ..I don't know if it was just an excuse to touch me or what?

 

I've seen her out a couple of times and one time that I saw her out she was all over me trying to makeout with me...I was sitting down and she was standing up straddling me with her hand behind my head. She was really drunk and I refused to make out with her but I did end up bringing her back to her apartment cause she blacked out. Another night she asked me to go out with her and couple of her girlfriends and I did. We talked the whole time and finally I just told her that I liked her. After I told her she started telling me that she was confused about her current boyfriend and that she didn't know what to do. I told her that I couldn't give her an unbiased opinion.

 

Anyways after that I thought things might change but they've only gotten worse. She told me that she likes her boyfriend and that she's prob gonna stay with him till end of summer. She calls me her bestest too I dont the hell that means. I don't know whatto do. My question is does she like me more than a friend? what should I do? should I wait it out? or what? I'm so confused and can't stop thinking about this situation I feel like there is something between us but at the same time it confuses me that she is still with her boyfriend.

 

The only thing that might explain it is a boyfriend of one of her friends told me that before her relationship with her current boyfriend, the guy she was dating really hurt her and that she's scared to get close to anotherguy..thats whyt her relationship with her current boyfriend is so weird. His advice to me was to keep being her friend cause he can tell that she likes me. Thoughts??

[LucreziaBorgia]

Ok, I'll give it to you straight, ugly and brutal having done exactly what this girl is doing, and having done it more times that I would like to admit:

 

You are involving yourself with a run of the mill garden variety silly little girl cheat. They are a dime a dozen. They will come up with any amount of crap to feed you to justify why they do it, but the bottom line is - they do it because they can, and because it works for them.

 

Why does she call you her best friend? So that she can manipulate you into doing whatever she wants. She calls it 'friend' so that she won't be obligated to you otherwise. Why is she doing it? Because some girls just like to keep a 'cuddle buddy friend guy' on the back burner to use in between real dates and dates with her boyfriend.

 

Does she like you as more than a friend? No. She likes you even less than that. No girl who liked or respected you as a person, or even remotely approaching genuine friendship would doom you to the 'cuddle buddy friend guy' position.

 

If she liked you as a friend or more, you'd be her boyfriend - not the guy she uses behind her boyfriends back.

 

The only way around this situation is to tell her that you aren't interested in girls who cheat on their boyfriends and not to contact you anymore. If you are already in too deep, you can say "I really want to be with you, but as long as you have a boyfriend it is too confusing and painful for me to see you. If you find yourself single, look me up - otherwise don't bother."

 

The tricky thing about that is that you might end up with her. Then you'll have to worry about who her next "best friend" will be.