xenopower Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I am a senior in college (Maryland) now and there is a girl from high school (Kansas) I really like who used to really like me too. We told each other so and began to get to know each other better (this is long distance). Unfortunately, I maybe came on a bit too strong and seemed desperate, loserish, etc. I think that she has lost quite a bit of interest in dating me because I make myself too available. For some time, I would call, IM, or text message her at least once a day, despite the fact that I am extremely busy and will be going to medical school later this year. My question is this: can I repair the situation and regain her interest by not contacting her and even ignoring some of her attempts to contact me? My hope is that this will make her miss me and make her realize how much she likes me. What are you thoughts? Thank you for your input!
JustCurious Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 It is best to not contact her as often but purposely ignoring her attempt(s) to contact you can backfire if you’re not careful. When a girl is interested she will reciprocate your calls/texts/emails but if you are the one to initiate doing so every single day then you are not providing an opportunity for her to initiate based on her own level of interest in you. If she is interested in you and you pull back a little, she will say to herself “hmmm, I haven’t heard from him in a while, I miss him, I want to talk to him, etc.” and she’ll want to reach out to you. When she does, she is demonstrating her interest in you. Whether or not you choose to make yourself readily available when she does is totally dependent on you. If she has constantly flaked out on you or has not been consistent with her words vs. actions, then she’s not demonstrating a clear interest in you. If that’s the case, then she needs to show a genuine interest in earning credibility (i.e. by you backing off a little and letting her do the leg work). She either will or she won’t and then it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to continue.
AussieJack Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 If she is interested in you and you pull back a little, she will say to herself “hmmm, I haven’t heard from him in a while, I miss him, I want to talk to him, etc.” and she’ll want to reach out to you. When she does, she is demonstrating her interest in you. Another rescue job for AussieJack ! The rule #12 of successful dating women, Just Curious, is to reveal a LITTLE of yourself to her as she begins to show HIGH interest in you. Think of yourself as a book with 20 chapters. AS you get to know a woman and she has passed the initial audition, (that is another post) you open yourself to her, ONE chapter at a time, over time. MOst of the chumps out there read the whole friggin book to her on the first dinner date, and then wander around the office the next day thinking that they have met their SOULMATE because she sat there nodding her head for three hours ! AS you build attraction in her and she increases her closeness and attention to you, you reveal the next chapter and so on.. Why go to all this bother ? For a few reasons - 1. Women love intrigue and anticipation..(this builds tension and excitement) 2. You need to know that this woman is NOT the town blabbermouth. 3. Slow release of any commodity increases its PERCEIVED value. Why do you think diamonds are so highly valued? BEcause they are released in small quantities and slowly. (Scarcity increases PERCEIVED value and triggers desire) 4. Your "holding back " sends the message that you are a mysterious and valuable man and you don't give yourself freely .(Again you are building attraction by being elusive and "hard to get" - women have been playing this games for centuries) 5. THis whole strategy puts YOU in control , rather than you being led by your emotions . Women can sense your inner calmness and steadyness and that further builds even more attraction. Ya feel me on this ? I could write more ,but do you see where I am going so far ? And ,dammit- this is FUN !
JustCurious Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 All good points Aussie. But I'd just like to add that it is not so much as "game playing" but basic human interaction. When we like something, we want it and when its not readily available to us, we want it even more. For instance, I love drinking my coffee every morning. I know its there and I will be drinking it. But if you were to take it away from me I am going to miss it and want it even more. I will go out of my way to get that cup of java even if I have to drive 10 miles out of my way to get it. That's it plain and simple, no need to analyze it any further.
AussieJack Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 When we like something, we want it and when its not readily available to us, we want it even more. . Exact-a- mundo! If more guys "got" this concept and applied it I could go back to engineering instead of mentoring your sorry a$$es every time some little bitty chicka pulls a head twist on one of you grunts. Carry on troops.
Author xenopower Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 Hey guys, I definitely see your points and will carry them out. I've made myself far too available and really cheapened myself. But here is a question: what if she also plays this game? Do I just have to hold out longer or something? Thanks.
Balthazar Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 (edited) Women definitely play the game, much more than we do; we are comparative amateurs in contrast to the average woman. However, an interested female will reveal her interest, be it though a subtle hint, a meaningful comment, something! I mean, she really is on your side if you think about it. Edited March 18, 2008 by Balthazar
AussieJack Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 (edited) Women definitely play the game, much more than we do; we are comparative amateurs in contrast to the average woman. However, an interested female will reveal her interest, be it though a subtle hint, a meaningful comment, something! I mean, she really is on your side if you think about it. This is also true, BUT women have very little endurance and will easily cave in if you turn the tables. Woman are also arrogant in their own way. BY that I mean that some of that some of the hot ones are so up their their own a$$es that they cannot begin to believe that a guy could out manuver tham. These are exactly the types who fall hardest for a good man who takes no SHYTE from them. Be that man soldier Carry on. Edited March 18, 2008 by AussieJack
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