melusine71 Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 (edited) Ok, so I'm looking at these horrid emails he's written to me. Insulting, petty, cutting and I hear her voice in them. She doesn't have kids- she's an idiot. He suggested because I ask him to help me with a toddler with the stomach flu so that I can take my daughter to her super expensive super fun birthday party and actualy get to witness her happiness that I'm inferior? that I am incapable of caring for our kids? This is the the guy who freaked out because he had to devote 20 hours a week to looking after them and forced us out of our home. My daughter was where I was going. She never got to go back. I have entire bookshelves devoted to childrearing, his contribution and he still never read it was "Idiot's guide to pregnancy" that's what he got for me. He said, "what don't you understand about me saying I am not going to do it?" Like his word is absolute. Like I am stupid beyond measure, he treats me with such contempt and he's the one! I feel like slapping him and saying wake up!!! Don't you remember me? Don't you remember everything I have done for you or at least everything you have put me through? Of course there was lots of craziness on my part when everything blew up last summer. Yes, I went a little berserk. So let me ask you this, how do I come to terms with the man having some woman bashing me, totally taking his side, bolstering his courage and giving him the ammo to be more cruel to me than I KNOW he has ever been to anyone else in his life? I wish I was stronger and that I had more resolve but I just feel like **** about myself right now. He hates me. More than anyone ever in his life. And we had these darlings together. I'm ****ing sick, just SICK. My daughter has the stomach flu today, she had to stay home from school and she's been really really ill. I love her so much. If the shoe were on the other foot, if he had them (god forbid!) I would do anything, go anywhere, rush to their side, climb any ****ing mountain to be with them, help them, save them. My wonderful little people. He always puts himself first, his needs. Even when she was tiny, if he was angry with me and I left her with him, I would come home to her screaming, filthy... his way of getting back at me. Why didn't I leave him before? How will I ever meet anyone else. let alone trust them? I'm shattered. I want someone to protect me from all of this. I want a cool sexy guy to answer the phone when he calls. I know I'm not ready but I am not strong enough to fight them both. Edited March 17, 2008 by melusine71
LuCidiTy Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 If he's letting her speak for him, he's a weak, little man being led around by his nether regions and probably not strong enough for you anyway. And don't forget karma...rest assured that one day both she and he will feel it and feel it hard, even though you may never know it. It never pays to take the low road, no matter what it is you want.
Gunny376 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I'll PM you phone number ~ you can then forward his calls to me using call forwarding ~ I promise! I'll do my best Rhett Butler imitation! :laugh: That'll mess with his head!
Author melusine71 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 Gunny! We must be distantly related. One of my long lost relatives was the first governer of Alabama, fyi. Rhett Butler is THE man. I grew up watching gone with the wind and adoring that devilish smile of his. His attitude and how deeply loving he was, a real man. I think my Dad always tried to emulate him. You nailed it on the cool guy. My h would FREAK if he called here and a man answered the phone. Hahahaha! I'm scared that he would know it was a trick though. What would you say!!???! I am delighted!
Author melusine71 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 You guys are killing me! I'm laughing all by myself! Thank you so much. He always sucked, he was always a lameass and i know that when/if I find a man who IS strong enough for me, who is kind and sharp and gentle, H will lose it. It's hard after so much abuse, neglect & rejection, I mean we're talking years at a time, I feel like I have so far to go to be who I want to be. I have to wade through this pain with him and prove to myself that I can handle this, that I am capable. That remark really got me because I fear that I won't be able to do it. I'm at he foot of the mountain-- and miles to go before I sleep and it's daunting.
LuCidiTy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 sometimes when you least expect it, a chairlift comes along
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