Lizzie60 Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I just had a call from my young MM.. He tried to call me 10 times last week.. he didn't know I was gone on vacation.. Anyway.. he said the last time we were together, he had the smell of my perfume in his face... and she smelled it.. They had another big fight. He said he was stupid and he feels bad for cheating.. blablabla.. I said he was the one to blame, not me.. He knows that but he said he just can't stop... that's why I haven't seen him for over a month now. We talked for about 10 minutes.. I didn't say much.. except that, after he hung up, I decided I would not have sex with him anymore... I don't mind seeing him as a friend only... but I think he needs to concentrate on the baby now... they are expecting a boy... this summer. He is very excited about the baby and I know he will be an amazing dad.. oh well...
directx Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Lizzy, I have to say, friend to friend, that's a little messed up! Do you have other prospects? Are you crushed about it or can you move on pretty easily? Next time, give your man a new bottle of your perfume, so he give it up to her in case he gets caught and say "I was shopping and testing out the smell at bought you a bottle!" (I only have a good imagination. I never execute my thoughts. Only on paper)
White Flower Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 (I only have a good imagination. I never execute my thoughts. Only on paper) Sure, D;) Just kidding:)
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Lizzy, I have to say, friend to friend, that's a little messed up! Do you have other prospects? Are you crushed about it or can you move on pretty easily? Next time, give your man a new bottle of your perfume, so he give it up to her in case he gets caught and say "I was shopping and testing out the smell at bought you a bottle!" (I only have a good imagination. I never execute my thoughts. Only on paper) No..no I'm not crushed at all.. I do have many other lovers to make me forget about him... I usually do not wear perfume when it's a MM... because I know it's dangerous...but I can't remember that time.. I guess he dropped by after I had my shower and put my perfume.. I don't know... oh well.. he said he didn't know where he picked the smell... he said he must have put his face on something that was very 'smelly'... it's OK now..
Lishy Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Lizzie you have to tell me where he put his face hahahhaha Ok in all honesty I am glad he has ended it. His poor wife! Imagine having new baby with a creepy cheater!
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Lizzie you have to tell me where he put his face hahahhaha Ok in all honesty I am glad he has ended it. His poor wife! Imagine having new baby with a creepy cheater! I usually put my perfume on my stomach... hahaha... He has no idea it's over yet... I haven't told him.. I decided I would not have sex with him..only after he hung up... I will have a good talk with him.. and tell him he needs to concentrate on being a good dad.
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Okay, out of respect for the baby, you should walk away from him in every way. Even a friendship isn't fair, he can't handle it. And, since you say you don't have real deep feelings for him, what's the point of even having a friendship? If you care about him at all, you gotta walk away...
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Okay, out of respect for the baby, you should walk away from him in every way. Even a friendship isn't fair, he can't handle it. And, since you say you don't have real deep feelings for him, what's the point of even having a friendship? If you care about him at all, you gotta walk away... Yes I know what you're saying.. but I know I can control myself... I know he likes to talk to me.. we don't have sex every time.. he enjoys talking to me about his life, his future... etc. We are good friends.. he just needs to stop wanting sex outside.. and I'm pretty sure I can talk him out of it.. If I just stop seeing or talking to him.. I bet he will try to find another woman.. I think he just needs the friendship just as much as he wants the sex... I could be wrong but I can bet on this...
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Yes, you can control yourself, but he can't. He's weak around you, has feelings for you, and it's just unfair to him to keep a friendship going, that's what I mean by walking away from him for good. He "needs" the friendship, that's unhealthy for him. He should have guy buddies' to hang with, not you. He knows it will upset his girlfriend, and it's not good for them to be 'into' you while with her... If he chooses to have sex with another woman, so be it. That's his choice and he will be a big fool for doing this to his gf and child. Kind of stupid since she knows he's been cheating on her with you....
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Hi Lizzie, I never know whether to say "Sorry to hear about that" or not because you always seem so que-se-ra! But, I'll say it anyway..."Sorry for the loss of what once was enjoyable for you"?? Will that do?
Art_Critic Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 and tell him he needs to concentrate on being a good dad. You mean he can't see you and be a good Dad at the same time Personally Lizzie I feel you are making the right move.. you have other guys and he is addicted to you to his detriment and possibly yours too. Let him go be a good Dad...
Touche Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Friendship, shmendship...stop having sex with him and he'll be history before too long.
Gold Pile Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 He wants you and he must know how to please you. If you meet him my guess is he'll playfully grab you (the way he thinks you'll like) and then you'll have a decision to make. I bet you'll sleep together another 2 or 3 times.
OpenBook Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 He said he was stupid and he feels bad for cheating.. blablabla.. I said he was the one to blame, not me.. I don't understand why you got defensive with him. Was he trying to blame it all on you?
Ocean-Blue Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 For the sake of the baby, I think ending the affair is a good idea. You'd think that the guy would come clean now that he's going to be a father. You know...a fresh start. But then, maybe I'm just naive. Something tells me that he'll move on and find another woman... If you won't have sex with him, perhaps he'll find someone else. The poor gf! To be pregnant and worried about another woman's perfume on your man... Gah.
Owl Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 For the sake of the baby, I'm wondering if their marriage will be able to survive his cheating. Pretty sad...
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 Hi Lizzie, I never know whether to say "Sorry to hear about that" or not because you always seem so que-se-ra! But, I'll say it anyway..."Sorry for the loss of what once was enjoyable for you"?? Will that do? thanks.. that will do... Yes it was enjoyable... ...
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 You mean he can't see you and be a good Dad at the same time Personally Lizzie I feel you are making the right move.. you have other guys and he is addicted to you to his detriment and possibly yours too. Let him go be a good Dad... You're right.. my bad... He CAN be a good dad and see me at the same time.. of course.. what was I thinking? I should have said 'good SO'...
blind_otter Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I dunno, man. When someone is addicted to you, but you aren't into them - they can get totally psycho sometimes.
Lishy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Lizzie the man is a douche hon! Just let him go and let him cheat with somebody else
Lyssa Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I dunno, man. When someone is addicted to you, but you aren't into them - they can get totally psycho sometimes. Oh that is so true! Scary sh*t!!!
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 He wants you and he must know how to please you. If you meet him my guess is he'll playfully grab you (the way he thinks you'll like) and then you'll have a decision to make. I bet you'll sleep together another 2 or 3 times. Hummm... maybe you're right.. maybe it would be better NOT to see him at all... he's quite a charmer and a cutie.
Owl Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 It would probably also be better for his family and his marriage too. Even if the affair doesn't go on, any interaction between the two of you will create a HUGE strain with his wife...and now that she suspects/knows, she's going to be watching MUCH more carefully for any signs of straying now. She'll never (rightfully so) trust any kind of relationship between you and him again.
marlena Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Hi Lizzie! Glad you lived it up in the DR! I am sorry about MM. I am not going to tel you waht to do! I know better! Bit do take care! I am sure you that you will miss him.
Author Lizzie60 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 It would probably also be better for his family and his marriage too. Even if the affair doesn't go on, any interaction between the two of you will create a HUGE strain with his wife...and now that she suspects/knows, she's going to be watching MUCH more carefully for any signs of straying now. She'll never (rightfully so) trust any kind of relationship between you and him again. He's not married... he's been with her for over 6 years now.. (living together just over a year).. he's 25, she's 23... he's been cheating on her for the last 5 years... she caught him every time... but she won't leave him.. now she got pregnant, probably to keep him .. but what she DOESN'T know YET.. is that a child is not 'relationship-proof'.... He will probably never stop...
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