Gui-Gui Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Hi everyone I will try to shorten my love story as i dont want anyone to feel bored with it. I met this girl 5 months ago during my staying in Hk, after i came back to Uk we decided to keep our relationship, even though we both knew it was going to be very hard to keep it. When we first met, i knew she was in love with a Gay, so i didnt try to date her or anything it was only a friendly date, but after a few of these dates, she suddenly asked me what did i feel for her, and after we both came to an agreement that we were in love(or, at least that's what i thought). I was coming to Hong Kong again next May, as i received some job offers to work there. We had some highs and lows during our relationship, but i never really did doubt about her feelings for me, till last monday. I felt she was a bit weird, because she wasnt replying my sms or coming online frequently, So on monday i got a sms from her asking me to give her time, as she couldnt forget the Gay boy with who she is in love, actually i suspected that before, that there was a bit of feelings existing, but never to the pount of jeopardizing our relationship for an impossible one. Now, she asked me if i could give her some time to think as she was having a stressful life, and i know it's true, with work, night school, exams...During our last chat, she said: "maybe you can make me fall in love with you", i was heartbroken when i heard it, after all i gave her all my love during all this time and i felt i was used like a toy. Now, i'm feeling extremely bad. My heart can't forget her and is willing to forgive her if she really wanna come back, but my head is keep telling me that she is the one who's going to regret for losing all my love. And i've been living with these duality inside of me, till i actually started to accept that she wasn't coming back. But today,I had a talk with her online, after 1 week of almost no contact at all. She started very talkative, and then i pulled off the talk we had about her being in love with her Gay friend. For an hour, i've tried to talk with her, but she was always trying to avoid conversation, the only thing that she actually said was " ...you are a nice guy", even when i mentioned about that day, she started to acting like she wasn't from this world, saying she didnt remember. I even had to type it, after almost one hour insisting to have some feedback from her, she must have felt like she couldn't stop avoiding it, so she said it real quickly that she was sleepy and wanted to go to bed. I dont hv to be a rocket scientist to know that something is not right in here, and to be honest i'm getting crazy. What should i do? I love her, but i dont know why she keeps reacting like this, even after i told her that i dont mind if she says our relationship is over, i just want her to be happy...can anyone help me, i really dont know what to do more!!Should i give her the time she needs, or should i just move on with my life????? So confused
Author Gui-Gui Posted March 24, 2008 Author Posted March 24, 2008 ok, Yesterday i got this sms from her saying: Sorry, i promise i will talk to you later, im so sorry that i made u sad in the past few days,,," Today, we started to have a nice chat, she seemed to be very friendly indeed, and she even said i miss you...which i replied with, is that serious? Because lately, it's not what i feel. Minutes later she tells me that she is going to cook something and asks me for 30 minutes. 30 minutes later, she comes back online totally different, and says she is sleepy and that she wants to sleep. Now, is this normal? Does she have multiple personality? I'm starting to fear for my mental health? What is it wrong with her?
theatregal4 Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 Well, it seems that the whole relationship was not starting well to begin with if she had feelings for this other guy. One big thing in the dating world is when a girl has feelings for another guy, usually that's one red flag. Did I read right, this other guy is gay? As far as the relationship goes, if she's been avoiding you or suddenly calling off when you guys were suppose to meet up, that's another red flag. I'm a woman and I've seen this soooo many times with my friends, it's a horrible little game a lot of women like to play to keep a man strung along. Honestly if it was me, I know you have strong feelings for her, but why keep going through all this confusion. Is this what love really feels like? No...I don't believe love feels like this. Each time you doubt, just ask yourself that. Also you might just when you both get the time to chat again, tell her you don't think this relationship is working out and ask her what she really thinks. 9 out of 10 times the woman will be upset about it, but playing these little games is ridiculous and a waste of time finding the right one:) Hope my advice helped! Take care!
Author Gui-Gui Posted March 25, 2008 Author Posted March 25, 2008 Also you might just when you both get the time to chat again, tell her you don't think this relationship is working out and ask her what she really thinks. This is the problem, i've been trying to talk to her and ask her about this, about what she really thinks, but i never get an answer, to make things worst, she left completely by myself to decide if i should continue with a relationship or not. To be honest this is not love and i'm very disappointed with everything. Now i have 1 girl who i know she share a love feeling for me, and i kinda like her as well, but now im afraid to get involved with her because i dont want to do the same thing as my ex-gf did, i like her but i still love my ex-gf:confused:
Victory Unlimited Posted March 27, 2008 Posted March 27, 2008 Always be aware that MOST long distance relationships are set up for failure. The only times that I have seen them work is when the time apart has been mutually predetermined, and agreed upon by BOTH parties. Other than that, usually an LDR is a prescription for future heartache in that it encourages you to fantasize about what the other person is really like-----as opposed to actually getting to know them more and more deeply as a real, flesh and blood, human being. This is why, many times, when people DO come together, and are finally with each other EVERY DAY in the same town-----they are usually disappointed. They feel somehow "let down" by the reality that their "fantasy" significant other is just a normal person-------with not only virtues, but VICES as well. That's why it's better to form relationships only with people who live in your vicinity. That way, you will be able to find out more quickly if you two are ultimately compatible----or NOT. So continue to MAN UP, and best wishes, and GODSPEED to you on your mission, soldier. March on.
sugarsoul Posted March 29, 2008 Posted March 29, 2008 From personal experience (i use to be in the same position as your ex) I think it's best that you take a step back and let her sort out her feeling on her own. meaning, don't communicate with her anymore unless she is 100% about the relationship. keep in mind tho, do you really want to be with someone is kind of iffy about her feelings for you to start with? as for the other girl, i think you should wait until you get over your ex.. so you can figure out what you want before you start a new relationship. you seriously don't want to hurt the other girl in the long run. hope this helps
Recommended Posts