dancinggal Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Hi guys, Ok, I have a kind of intimate question, but I'll try and keep it clean. When my boyfriend and I saw each other for the first time in 5 months last time we met, we tried to have sex on the first night. But it really hurt me, and I don't know why (I wasn't a virgin, and hadn't been for a quite a few years). My boyfriend didn't want to continue until I was more comfortable doing it, and we kept trying all week, but it still kind of hurt, but after that first week, it felt good again. This time, we haven't seen each other for 10 months, and the date is getting closer (I just went back on the pill!) I know he would never expect anything out of me that I didn't want to do, or that hurt me (in fact, he would be the one to tell me that we aren't allowed to do it until it feels good), but I was just wondering, has this happened to anyone else? I guess I just figured, after so long apart, you would just fall into each other's arms, but it just didn't happen for me. And in case you are wondering, he is extremely generous in bed, and I am very sexually attracted to him.
fral945 Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Sounds like you may be nervous or unrelaxed. I've noticed with the women I've been with, when they are not relaxed or their minds are somewhere else, they are tight at first but do get wet and looser once they've "warmed up" a bit. You should try foreplay (if you're not doing it already), and try to do it somewhere you are comfortable and relaxed, without any distractions. Maybe set the mood with low lighting, candles, etc. Just focus on you and him.
TMichaels Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 dancinggal, If there is no medical reason for the pain (have you been to a doctor to make sure?), then fral945 is probably right in his "diagnosis." Using a lubricant like KY jelly also might help. Just make sure if you're using a condom that you don't use a petroleum-based lubricant like Vaseline which can degrade the condom material. HTH, TMichaels
Author dancinggal Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 Thanks guys, I appreciate the advice. I don't think it is a medical issue, because after the first week, its all back to normal. I guess it must be because I am a little nervous and out of practice because its been a long time? Its not worrying, because I know I'm allowed to take all the time I need, and that his first concern is me and if I am comfortable, but its just weird because I have no problems when its regular. Anyway, thanks again.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Hi guys, Ok, I have a kind of intimate question, but I'll try and keep it clean. When my boyfriend and I saw each other for the first time in 5 months last time we met, we tried to have sex on the first night. But it really hurt me, and I don't know why (I wasn't a virgin, and hadn't been for a quite a few years). My boyfriend didn't want to continue until I was more comfortable doing it, and we kept trying all week, but it still kind of hurt, but after that first week, it felt good again. This time, we haven't seen each other for 10 months, and the date is getting closer (I just went back on the pill!) I know he would never expect anything out of me that I didn't want to do, or that hurt me (in fact, he would be the one to tell me that we aren't allowed to do it until it feels good), but I was just wondering, has this happened to anyone else? I guess I just figured, after so long apart, you would just fall into each other's arms, but it just didn't happen for me. And in case you are wondering, he is extremely generous in bed, and I am very sexually attracted to him. I'm in an LDR as well. After spending approx. 4 months apart, I saw my bf... I have to tell you, it hurt (and stung a bit too). It took me a little while to get used to it again... My only suggestion is to only try once you are really well lubricated (either naturally or by using some sort of a synthetic lubricant). Perhaps he can try by doing other things before actually penetrating you. And good luck with the waiting. Waiting makes me go insane...off the wall...crazy, crazy, crazy. I don't know how you do it for 10 months, but you have my sympathies.
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