Ungh Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I do. All my money goes to support stupid needs she has which include (but not limited to) a 3000 sq ft. McMansion, a fancy car, ski trips to Vail and Whistler. trips to Paris, Caribbean cruises, and her need not to have to work. I get hardly any sex except for the obligatory one every 3-4 weeks. I guess her incessant nagging takes up to much of her energy. I swear, if it wasn't for my kids, I'd be so f*cking outta there! It's my recurring fantasy. Some people dream of winning the lotto or the Nobel Prize in physics. Me, I dream of freedom from this soul-sapping wench.
Tony T Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I do. All my money goes to support stupid needs she has which include (but not limited to) a 3000 sq ft. McMansion, a fancy car, ski trips to Vail and Whistler. trips to Paris, Caribbean cruises, and her need not to have to work. I get hardly any sex except for the obligatory one every 3-4 weeks. I guess her incessant nagging takes up to much of her energy. I swear, if it wasn't for my kids, I'd be so f*cking outta there! It's my recurring fantasy. Some people dream of winning the lotto or the Nobel Prize in physics. Me, I dream of freedom from this soul-sapping wench. Let me guess: You grew up with low self esteem; you are a people pleaser; you always got dumped on by females you liked; even before you married this lady you knew for a fact she was a user but you married her anyway...at the time, you were so used to being used it was an OK price just to be with her; your friends warned you she would be just like she is but you didn't want to hear of it; you have always done things for people who didn't even say thank you, much less gave much in return; you didn't always think this lady was a soul-sapping wench...my bet is you worked your butt off just to be with her. You gave up your own soul to give her whatever she wanted...and you got your wish. Am I right? Have you learned your lesson or do you want to go through this again and again?
Author Ungh Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Let me guess: You grew up with low self esteem; you are a people pleaser; you always got dumped on by females you liked; even before you married this lady you knew for a fact she was a user but you married her anyway...at the time, you were so used to being used it was an OK price just to be with her; your friends warned you she would be just like she is but you didn't want to hear of it; you have always done things for people who didn't even say thank you, much less gave much in return; you didn't always think this lady was a soul-sapping wench...my bet is you worked your butt off just to be with her. You gave up your own soul to give her whatever she wanted...and you got your wish. Am I right? Have you learned your lesson or do you want to go through this again and again? Not bad. Not bad at all ..!
Mr. Lucky Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I swear, if it wasn't for my kids, I'd be so f*cking outta there! I wonder what they're taking from your situation ? Mr. Lucky
carhill Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 OP, get some therapy and read AussieJack's postings here. You'll be better in no time. Remember, all she can do is divorce you
Trialbyfire Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I don't understand this at all. What's to stop you from divorcing her and getting 50% custody over the kids?
carhill Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Nothing, but maybe try "man'ing up" first; who knows, his wife might respond to that in a positive manner. The flag ain't rigid on the pole with my wife, but I'm not giving up hope, and I think it'll make me a better person besides. I'll get 50% of the cat
Author Ungh Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 I don't understand this at all. What's to stop you from divorcing her and getting 50% custody over the kids? I definitely thought of that, believe me. I'd likely get the kids every other weekend and on Wednesdays. No thanks. Plus seeing how the courts operate, I'll be giving her everything I have + alimony. So I'll be poor and childless. Great choice.
jmargel Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Definition of insanity.. doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. She doesn't appreciate what you give her, to her she thinks it's her right. Don't divorce her, but change her way of lifestyle. Stop giving her money, take the money in the joint checking account and put it in your own. Have a talk with her and let her know major changes are happening. Then, get marriage counseling. Put some value into this marriage.
DogMetal Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Definition of insanity.. doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. No, the definition of insanity is as follows: in·san·i·ty Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-san-i-tee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun, plural -ties. 1. the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind. 2. Law. such unsoundness of mind as affects legal responsibility or capacity. 3. Psychiatry. (formerly) psychosis. 4. extreme folly; senselessness; foolhardiness. 'Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results' is call PRACTICE! As in practicing a sport, instrument, any skill. Back on topic, try counseling.
jmargel Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Practice? Practice is trying different things until it works. When you do the same thing over and over and having it fail each time is called stupidity. It's when you expect the outcome to change when you don't change your behavior, that's when you can expect to go insane. She needs counseling, he needs to show tough love.
Curmudgeon Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I definitely thought of that, believe me. I'd likely get the kids every other weekend and on Wednesdays. No thanks. Plus seeing how the courts operate, I'll be giving her everything I have + alimony. So I'll be poor and childless. Great choice. Courts are becoming more and more enlightened as time goes on. besides, what's the price of your manhood, pride and self-esteem or do you actually enjoy being used? Children learn what they live and right now the lesson is that Mommy can do whatever she wants and Daddy has to work hard to support that. Think of what their future marriages will look like. You will never be childless and if you become poor, it should only be temporary. I'd rather be poor in material things than poor in spirit!
Woggle Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 This is why a man should never marry a woman who wants a provider. You will almost always end up in this position. I am willing to share but I am not supporting a woman like she is some sort of child.
luvstarved Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I agree with jmargel. Make the marriage less cushy for her and maybe SHE'LL want out but at the very least you will have wrested some control back and probably saved a ton of dough to boot. I don't think you necessarily even need to be confrontational about it. Just um...btw, we need to tighten the belts, we can't afford that now, I need to save for...but whatever works to start ratcheting down the lifestyle. Heck maybe she would find herself another sugar daddy if she knew that you were relinquishing the role. If you really want out, let the pride GO on that one. Do you want the appearance of happiness...or happiness?? It's funny I have no problem with women like this when they find compatible men to be with. Some wealthy guys don't really WANT to be bothered with their wives and are only too happy to buy them off to keep them from being a nuisance. They really only get married to deflect other women's emotions or to have the classic "trophy wife". When that relationship is mutually satisfactory, hip hip hooray for them. But if that isn't what you signed up for and not what you want...then why should you keep paying for it???
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Have you ever thought of telling your wife how unhappy you are? How you bust your balls to provide for her and your kids, and don't get much in return? Communication man! Don't be all passive and complain when honestly, you can step it up a notch and take control here. TALK TO YOUR WIFE and let her know ALL that is going on inside your head.
stillafool Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I do. All my money goes to support stupid needs she has which include (but not limited to) a 3000 sq ft. McMansion, a fancy car, ski trips to Vail and Whistler. trips to Paris, Caribbean cruises, and her need not to have to work. I get hardly any sex except for the obligatory one every 3-4 weeks. I guess her incessant nagging takes up to much of her energy. I swear, if it wasn't for my kids, I'd be so f*cking outta there! It's my recurring fantasy. Some people dream of winning the lotto or the Nobel Prize in physics. Me, I dream of freedom from this soul-sapping wench. What is keeping you there?
stillafool Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I do. All my money goes to support stupid needs she has which include (but not limited to) a 3000 sq ft. McMansion, a fancy car, ski trips to Vail and Whistler. trips to Paris, Caribbean cruises, and her need not to have to work. Somehow I think you enjoy these things too. Your wife's need to not work - did you both decide on this for the benefit of the kids? When asked why you don't leave you say: I definitely thought of that, believe me. I'd likely get the kids every other weekend and on Wednesdays. No thanks. Plus seeing how the courts operate, I'll be giving her everything I have + alimony. So I'll be poor and childless. Great choice. So you don't want to give up any of your material possessions either. What do you propose to do about your situation? I get hardly any sex except for the obligatory one every 3-4 weeks. I guess her incessant nagging takes up to much of her energy. I think this is the problem right here. If you and your wife were having great sex all this other stuff wouldn't bother you. You sound sexually frustrated and are feeling unappreciated for all the things you do. I swear, if it wasn't for my kids, I'd be so f*cking outta there! It's my recurring fantasy. Some people dream of winning the lotto or the Nobel Prize in physics. Me, I dream of freedom from this soul-sapping wench. How old are your children?
Lizzie60 Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I do. All my money goes to support stupid needs she has which include (but not limited to) a 3000 sq ft. McMansion, a fancy car, ski trips to Vail and Whistler. trips to Paris, Caribbean cruises, and her need not to have to work. I get hardly any sex except for the obligatory one every 3-4 weeks. I guess her incessant nagging takes up to much of her energy. I swear, if it wasn't for my kids, I'd be so f*cking outta there! It's my recurring fantasy. Some people dream of winning the lotto or the Nobel Prize in physics. Me, I dream of freedom from this soul-sapping wench. WOW.. this is easy.. cut on the 'special needs'... simple... No sex.. no 'candies'... period... This got to be the simplest problem to resolve.. really..
Author Ungh Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Have you ever thought of telling your wife how unhappy you are? How you bust your balls to provide for her and your kids, and don't get much in return? Communication man! Don't be all passive and complain when honestly, you can step it up a notch and take control here. TALK TO YOUR WIFE and let her know ALL that is going on inside your head. Yeah sure I did. Many times. Was a useless endeavor. She then gets angry for weeks after one of those discussions. I have 0 leverage to make her change.
Lizzie60 Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Yeah sure I did. Many times. Was a useless endeavor. She then gets angry for weeks after one of those discussions. I have 0 leverage to make her change. Then cut the 'discussions' along with the 'perks'... You don't have sex anyway.. so that won't change much.. your life won't change much.. but you'll have more money in your bank account..
Trialbyfire Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I definitely thought of that, believe me. I'd likely get the kids every other weekend and on Wednesdays. No thanks. Plus seeing how the courts operate, I'll be giving her everything I have + alimony. So I'll be poor and childless. Great choice. Have you seen a lawyer and discussed the situation with him/her? As for giving everything you have, not necessarily. You're making assumption.
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Yeah sure I did. Many times. Was a useless endeavor. She then gets angry for weeks after one of those discussions. I have 0 leverage to make her change. And then you cave, give in and she wins...Then cycle starts up again. How old are your kids? Are they in school all day or at home? If in school, or even if they're teens, there's NO reason why your wife can't work. UNLESS she doesn't want to... Anyway, so what if she gets angry for weeks after those discussions. You two are married and partners, not HER calling all the shots and you caving. What example are you two setting for your kids? Trust me, they're not stupid, they feel and probably see/hear what goes on around the house between you two. Especially if you have daughters!
Lookingforward Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 What example are you two setting for your kids? Trust me, they're not stupid, they feel and probably see/hear what goes on around the house between you two. Especially if you have daughters! Beats me why people think kids are stupid and don't realise that being there "for the kids" is giving one lousy example of how a M should be (or not be).
Trialbyfire Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 You have to wonder if "staying for the kids" is code for "I'm having an affair".
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Beats me why people think kids are stupid and don't realise that being there "for the kids" is giving one lousy example of how a M should be (or not be). If a couple is going to stay together for the sake of the kids, they both better be working on the marriage too. Staying for the kids and not putting in ANY effort to keep the marriage going is just a waste of time AND setting a bad example for the kids.
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