mysocalledlife Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 So after some IC this past week, a couple of discussions with my W about what is going on and countless hours of difficult soul searching, I have reached a decision about where my M is headed. For those that have read my other posts, its probably no surprise, but believe me, I was not sure until tonight. What really put me over the edge was something another LS member posted about how their building resentments made them detest intimacy with their spouse. When I read that post I went ice cold and had to re-read it. I could have written it myself. Suddenly old wounds opened up and all the old hurt and resentment that I had buried for so long came back. I still don't remember all the details and reasons, but I don't need to. The hurt and resentment are so intense they are palpable. As a result, I now know without a doubt that while I care greatly about my W as a friend, I can never feel anything more. And knowing that, as her friend, it would be unfair to keep her here when she can be so much happier. I know there will be many tears, and much anger, but I truly believe that for us, this will be best in the end. I will tell her tomorrow. But as much as I know this is the right decision for both of us, I feel as if my world is unraveling. I don't think I have ever faced something so difficult in my life. And for those that might wonder about my "crush", well, we have actually become better friends, and while my feelings for her are still there, knowing that I have her as a friend has given me the strength to face this.
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