princess0221 Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 hi, this is my first time here so go easy on me OK, I have been seeing a married guy since Sept now, we met at a work thing. He works for a different comp but the same union rep us.anyway I never thought that I would ever get involved with a married guy He has two girls that I know he thinks the world [COLOR=black][FONT=serif]of,I[/FONT][/COLOR] don't think he wants to hurt his wife but he is not happy (so he says) look I'm not dumb and I know that people say that when they are look for some fun so I get that, but for some reason this is different I have never meet someone that I am so sexually compatible with. We talk for hours on the phone, [COLOR=black][FONT=serif]Ims[/FONT][/COLOR] and texts.. We talk dirty and about [COLOR=black][FONT=serif]life.Our[/FONT][/COLOR] families and friends. I am divorced and was cheated on so I do understand the pain I swear I do. This was never planned than again how could you plan this? my problem is this we cant get enough of each other, and the times that we have are getting more intense than before, the passion is so hot and the feelings are clearly there, I see no way out of this and I know he said he has a very short list on how he would end it, ([COLOR=green][FONT=serif]I'm[/FONT][/COLOR] sure he means getting caught) not only is he a lover but he has become the closest friend I have, his voice alone can calm me down when [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]I'm[/FONT][/COLOR] upset I have not allowed my children to meet him nor do any of my friends know of him [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]Its[/FONT][/COLOR] ALL A SECRET and it is a awful feeling when you cant be with the person you care for, I know I care for him [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]a lot[/FONT][/COLOR] because he is the first person I think about In the morning and the last person I want to talk to before I close my eyes. Being that I know people are going to think bad of me I just want some honest advice on what you would do Look I know this is wrong I get that And it was done to me so I know it hurts but I [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]don't[/FONT][/COLOR] know what to do to get out of [COLOR=black][FONT=serif]it.He[/FONT][/COLOR] has made it clear he cant leave his wife. I have tried to date others but cant seem to get him out of my head.. HELP WOULD BE NICE NOT CRITIZIM
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 He isn't going to leave his wife and kids. Ever. SO, if you want to settle and be second fiddle, be the OW, then continue down this path and get hurt. You've been cheated upon so I am surprised that you would do this to another woman, help her husband betray her and his whole family unit. Why would you even try to date someone else? Why not just end it, walk away, be alone. Heal yourself. You're aren't ready to date anyone let alone open your heart.
Curmudgeon Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 He has made it clear he cant leave his wife. I have tried to date others but cant seem to get him out of my head.. HELP WOULD BE NICE NOT CRITIZIM There's nothing we can say that you haven't said to yourself already and nothing you can say to excuse or justify this. All that remains is for D-Day to come and go and for you to be left in the dust. That's not a criticism. That's a distinct possibility, if not probability. In the interim you will experience a steady erosion of your self-esteem accompanied by an increase in your dissatisfaction with being in perpetual second place. You know what you have to do and counseling might help you do it. At least you could explore why, having been cheated upon, you've chosen this self-destructive course.
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