atc2410 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Thanks for the help guys. I wonder how long until she stops contacting me all together. I want to move on from the hurt but it does make me scared that NC likely will mean I never talk to her again. NC for now doesn't mean you won't talk to her again, unless you choose that. I know this because it's my exact situation. My ex ended it, we tried the friends thing immediately after, it got awkward, I pulled right back and we stayed NC for 3 months. She contacted me recently and we've been in light contact. It's amazing how much our sense of time is warped immediately post breakup. One week feels like an eternity let alone one month. NC with someone we were in more contact with than anyone is so jarring it feels like the longer it goes the less likely we'll ever speak to them again. What it means is when contact does occur it'll just be natural and comfortable (again if you choose it).
slipstream Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Not talking to her again is a risk you have to take, in order to get a girl back or get over her you have to be willing to walk out of her life forever and move on. Im in a similar situation, i did NC for about 6 weeks after my girlfriend broke up with me, she then contacted me out of the blue and every two weeks or so she has initiated contact, i have not. I saw her in a club on sunday for the first time in 2 months and my heart didnt skip a beat, she stood about 3 feet away from me for most of the night dancing around guys trying to make me jealous but she did not even aknowledge me... why i do not know.. her mates were even talking to me saying how they missed having me around etc... Just focus on making yourself better, because its a waste of time and energy trying to figure out what your ex wants wants unless she tells you straight out, channel your energy into meeting new people.
MichaelisSingle Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 haha im in a similar situation as you, only she isnt calling :X try NC when she doesnt try talking to you, sounds like eventually you might get her back if you keep it up and play your cards right
Author wonderinwhatsup Posted March 19, 2008 Author Posted March 19, 2008 I do want her back but I guess I don't know exactly how to "play my cards right". The fact that she has a boyfriend (who is actually a really good guy) makes me think that I'm just reading too much into her consistently contacting me. If I thought it would accomplish anything I would respond to her. To the people on this forum, how should I play my cards?
MIKE2579 Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 I think she will stop contacting you completely if she really liked the new dude. Women are very complicated souls. We will never understand them. I do love women though. LOL My take on this is, when a woman meets someone new, and they are interested, especially at 20, they were probably somewhat co-dependent on you. What I mean by this is lack of experience and relationships. Therefore, a woman likes to stay within her comfort zone even when they are in unfamiliar territory, aka the new guy. This could be why she wants you around. Her intentions could very well be to have a backup plan in case the new one doesn't work out. Back burner if you know what I mean. At 20 you have a long way to go.
Author wonderinwhatsup Posted March 21, 2008 Author Posted March 21, 2008 Ive decided that I am going to wait til her birthday in may and give her a birthday card saying hi. Maybe by then things will change, I guess I should just wait and see.
mortensorchid Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 I think you should severe ties with this gal and just move on. I know you hurt, I know you are disappointed. But, it's best if you keep your distances, because if you continue to see or speak to each other, you will do nothing but bring up unresolved problem and issue from your past. And you will fight and scream at each other, and then realize why you broke up to begin with. You try to be together because you are lonely, but, we all get over that. On top of the fact that she has a new boyfriend these days, it sounds like a rebound to me and that won't last long. She will release her issues she had with you on this new sap. Consider yourself lucky.
Bobby.Roy Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Even i am going through the same situation, only, my relationship ended after 8 years! She left me for this guy, who was a common friend (i say "was" because i have broken all contacts with him)..He ain't a good guy, a total womanizer and my girl-friend (ex) knows it, still she is so much attracted towards him that she says she just cannot forget him, though she also says she loves me very very much. I have not contacted her since the past few days, though she called me yesterday, i answered her call and just told her in a patient and calm way, not to contact me till the time he is there in his life. After she is over with him (which i know she will, probably, one day), she might contact me and we can talk or something. Though this hurt like hell and i am so very depressed and sad but if i keep contacts with her, keep talking to her over the phone and all, she might just see me as a friend or somebody who is "okay" with her having another relationship which i seriously do not want. I really want her back.. So, buddy, you are not alone, just hang on and be positive and see what life and love has in store for you in the future. Though i understand it is extremely hurting and painful but still i would say, just hang on tight.
wvhenson Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 Dude, your post sounds almost to the "T" my situation. After reading it man I saw maybe a few different reasons. I sensed first a confused girl. Then I sensed one that still has feelings for you. Our ages are young and I know alot of confusion comes from that, but somewhere deep down man it seems she has an attraction to you still. Back and forth texting or emailing to find out with her can get frustrating. I would face to face talk to her, explain what you feel and say "hey, I have to know whats up NOW or I have to move on". You probably are a guy that has a huge huge heart right? Dude, Im the same way. I think guys with big hearts tend to hurt alot more. Or at least punish themselves by constant thinking,etc. Do you think of her the very first thing when you wake up? Hit me back dude. JOHN
Author wonderinwhatsup Posted March 22, 2008 Author Posted March 22, 2008 But that's just it, I did have that last talk to her, I did write her a goodbye letter, and even still she told me that she didn't love me anymore. Although I don't know if thats true, considering how we had relations even after the breakup, all I can do is take her at her word. I sometimes think she may be confused as to why I'm ignoring her ( she's kinda always kept in contact with ex's even though i was her longest steady bf by a long shot). I guess she just thought I'd be there waiting for her whenever she felt that she needed me. I still love this girl more then I can describe and I know the next few weeks are gonna be very long...
Author wonderinwhatsup Posted March 23, 2008 Author Posted March 23, 2008 Today marks one month since my ex and her new boyfriend got together and one week since she last tried to contact me. It seems that she has done alot better at moving on than I have, I just wish I knew when my heart will finally stop aching.
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