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why is this happening?


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Posted

Hi all,

 

I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. We talked, I asked if we could try again, and then he broke up with me. I know that doesn't make sense, but whatever.

 

He put me off on when we could exchange our belongings. I explained that we didn't have to see each other, just leave them at each other's houses, or I could mail his things. Finally, he told me I could "come over" and pick up my items. I explained that it would hurt me too much, and that it would be better to just stop by when he is at work - the items that are mine are outside items, a firepit, etc. I was not angry when I talked to him - if anything - he could tell by the sound of my voice that I was upset.

 

He said he would get back to me, and hasn't. Come to find out, one of the items was still at the store (we had ordered some outdoor furniture), I could have just gotten it there.

 

I ended up getting the one item at the store, and I mailed his things last week with a very nice note. I never could have gotten the ordered item in my car anyway, a friend drove hers and we had to put down the back seat. He would have known that by looking at the box...

 

I have not heard from him. I have no idea what this means. I would really like closure.

 

What do you think? Neither of us are kids - we are in our late 40's/early 50's.

 

I can let the rest of the stuff go - it just sticks in my craw a bit because the firepit was not cheap, he knows my work schedule and his brother lives in the same community as I do, so it's not like he can't just drop it off while I'm at work.

 

I think he thought we could just be friends. We can't, not now, maybe not ever.

Posted

"Why is this happening?"- Bookworm, beause you broke up with him, that is why "This" is happening.

Why did you breakup in the first place?

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Posted

That's not what I asked. I asked why he won't return my things.

Posted

Well, my guess would be, that he doesn't want to see you either.

If your things meant that much to you, you would have gone to get them.

I understand why you don't want to face him, to get your things, however, i will reiterate, if they meant that much to you, you would have gone to get them.

The guy was dumped by you initially, he offered you to come get your things & instead of doing so, you decided to play games.

Posted
What do you think? Neither of us are kids - we are in our late 40's/early 50's.

 

I think he thought we could just be friends. We can't, not now, maybe not ever.

 

Your age doesn't matter (I'm older than both of you). What matters is that you seem to have turned this into a game -- "Oh, I want my things! Oh! I'll be hurt! Ooh! We can never be friends again!" That doesn't sound very mature to me, nor does the fact that he didn't tell you about the item at the store.

 

Perhaps if you both grow up you might actually be able to mend the relationship.

 

As always, just one man's opinion. You asked!

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