xpert1 Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I have been going out with a woman for about 4 months. She was recently out of a bad relationship and just back on her own as of 2 months ago. She has said that she did not want to jump into a relationship right away. I have not pushed the issue, been jelous, etc but we have spent a lot of time together in the past. Now not as much and she has found some new friends she seems to go out with more often. I have fallen for this girl. We are both in our early 40, but she seems to be in control of how and when we get together. We take walks at night, hold hands and laugh with each other then go back and have sex. Now she is saying that she wanted to talk to me and let me know what she is up to.....nothing bad.... I think that she has gone out on dates and that is the way it is, but she may want to take it slower or possibly be friends. How do I keep her interested in me? I will give her space and respect. I don't stalk her in anyway. Should I call her less? Should I date and let her know that I'm doing that? Telling someone you want them gives them a feeling that you are week or needy and may push or turn them off. What do I do?
backspn Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I have been going out with a woman for about 4 months. She was recently out of a bad relationship and just back on her own as of 2 months ago. She has said that she did not want to jump into a relationship right away. I have not pushed the issue, been jelous, etc but we have spent a lot of time together in the past. Now not as much and she has found some new friends she seems to go out with more often. I have fallen for this girl. We are both in our early 40, but she seems to be in control of how and when we get together. We take walks at night, hold hands and laugh with each other then go back and have sex. Now she is saying that she wanted to talk to me and let me know what she is up to.....nothing bad.... I think that she has gone out on dates and that is the way it is, but she may want to take it slower or possibly be friends. How do I keep her interested in me? I will give her space and respect. I don't stalk her in anyway. Should I call her less? Should I date and let her know that I'm doing that? Telling someone you want them gives them a feeling that you are week or needy and may push or turn them off. What do I do? I would say she is not over her last relationship. I would not date a woman who has been hurt in the last 6 months. Its too soon for her to date. It can only end badly for you. If you can date her while she dates other too, more power to you. Its hard to do. If you do decide to do that then when youre with her be yourself and dont bring up heavy talk. Keep it light and have fun. If its meant to be, it will work.
Author xpert1 Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 As far as her last relationship. She hates the guy. He made her move 1500 miles to Cali based on promises that were all lies as she came out to find out. Big promises like a child (buys her a dog instead) has her look for homes but never contacts realtor, treats her worse than anyone has ever treated her......She could not wait to get out of the house when he was back from business for a few days and would come to my house in order not to see him. Maybe I was the in between relief guy but we always have fun. She says we have so much in common. I don't know. I think that maybe she wants to see if there is someone that will take care of her 100% maybe. What do you girls or guys think?
City_girl Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Think youve made the point again without seeing it!! She's not over her last relationship if she hates him, she's hurt and been badly let down. tread carefully
carhill Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 OK to spend time with, but don't put emotional energy into it. Find other women to date. Oh, confused on timeline. Are you saying you've been going out with her since prior to the end of her last relationship? Also, how fast did sexual intimacy come? These could be clues to her behavior. My instinct is short-termer and hope you had a good time. Sounds like she's been pretty honest with you, so kudos for that...
Author xpert1 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 We were dating while she still lived in her ex condo. We meet just before Thanks Giving. We saw each other every week there after until now. I guess I was an escape. We started having sex but only oral sex (until now) about 2 weeks after we meet. The denial part: She had not given "all of herself" to this man even though she was engaged to him for a year. She did not have intercourse with him yet! She always tells me that she is so happy that she did not give that to him. More denial is that she moved to Cali from Texas not because she was in love but because his camaign was to take care of her financially, give her a child, have her be a stay at home mom etc. She tells me that she had always told him that he was not her type but he continued chasing her until she gave in. She has know him for 3 years on and off. She has not worked in 1.5 years and now hates her job. Also he sends her a check for $1,500 a month so she can manage to pay her bills and rent until I believe May or June and by that time she should have found a better paying job. He is wealthy and older. I'm so sad and feel stupid. I fell for her already and it hurts that maybe I got caught like all the other guys with her outer beauty. She is stunning and by far the best looking woman I have ever had. It really sucks. The women that answer these theads I appreciate so much because you do give me a true perspective and that will help me heal. The truth hurts but maybe in my fantasy land I believed I had a chance for long term with this one.
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