swarm Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 Hey everyone, So I posted a while ago about my breakup.http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t146390/ anyways, so I met up with her "best friend" yesterday and talked to her for a while. It was cool but she told me some alarming things that really hurt. She said that she is now his(my ex-bestfriend of 15 yrs) girlfriend. They just went up to visit his mom together this weekend, and she told her not to tell me. I dont know why, but she has been keeping alot from me ever since this has all happened. Anyways 2weeks ago she called me and we had a talk for 3 1/2 hours. She told her best friend about it. She said it was really good and it felt like we just connected and she said she had a hard time afterward because shes with this guy but she felt that feeling that she has for me etc. So I have been no contact for 9 days and the other night we saw each other driving so the next day she messaged me saying that she saw me and asked what was up. I was very short with her and she is used to me talking for a while. So I am very much in limbo here. I get the same advice from everyone about what I should do but I am still really in love with her and want to try and reconcile with her at some point. The guys shes with is my old best friend(15 yrs) and she has known him as just that. He started telling her he wants to be with her while we were still together in early decemnber. She resisted and knew she was in love with me, but january rolls around, he had been manipulating her and telling her all of my secrects(I had no idea this was happening) and she caved in and broke up with me and was with him a week later. Now they have been seeing each other for about 2 months. Is this a rebound for her? She was best friends with his ex,whom he broke up with the same day as mine did to be with my lady, and my ex knows all of the tricks and bs that he did to his ex. She was there the whole time watching him, she knows him very well. She would always say "he is so disrespectful to woman, look how he treats her, im so glad you arnt like that" " He is disgusting etc" and Now she saying she never thought he could change like this and be this way. And that Its different. SO Im just wondering when a woman is in a LTR for 3yrs and jumps to another guy in a week, is that a rebound, does anyone think that it will work out from your experiance with it? And is it possible she is still thinking about me or has feelings for me?Or is she in any pain yet over loseing me? She dragged this out for a while with me, and we almost got back together two times in the last 2 months. I dont know what to think, maybe she is happy and just erased me in a week. Its just hard to believe that some one can just not be in loe in a week. we were talking about marriage and the whole nine yards and she wanted space at first and then she was confused about what she wanted and then she slept with him, came to me said it was a mistake and then she is with him. Sending me message all the way saying that I was good enough and that she still loves me and thinks we are destined to be together. Any help or advice would be great. I know what is probly the right thing to do, but and other advice would be cool to. Thanks in advance.
daphne Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I get the impression that you guys are all very young. Early 20's maybe? Your ex did you a favor by showing you her true colors. She'll probably be back, because she's going to get sick of your former friend's antics. I'm amazed that she was that unintelligent to go into the relationship knowing how he is. I hope that by the time she comes back, you don't want her back anymore. This type of person is immature and if she can walk out on a whim that easily, isn't the girl for you. Btw, I don't think this is a rebound at all. This appears to be a case of the grass is greener.
Author swarm Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 daphne, Thanks for your reply, yeah I wasnt sure how to think about this situation. I just never thought anything like this would happen especially with her! He definetly manipulated her big time, like I said he used everything to his advantage to get what he wanted, obviously he felt the chase and had to succeed. The really weird part is she seemed so confused about everything for a while and really(i think) resisted the whole thing. Now she is telling her best friend that it just happened to be this way. Anyways, my whole trip on this situation is how she could just give herself to him so quickly after being VERY involved with me for so long? It really doesnt make sense to me. She does have a pattern of doing this, last time she and I split up(I was useing drugs, so she had a good reason) she was with some guys right away and was with him for about a month and then my best friend(the guy she with now) kinda got us back together. So i dont know what to think, she really is a good person and a wonderful girl. This is not really like her at all though. I just wish I knew if she still has feelings for me, i know the longer she is with him the more she will get over me. But I was reading about relationships and about people who go into another relationship after a LTR, and they typically dont experiance the breakup until that relationship burns out. They do feel the feelings though and usually have alot of remorse and regret. And I heard that these kind of relationships(jumpers) dont last to long past the limerance stage. Any one have any experiance's like this? Im really afraid that she will fall out of love with me(which I know is rediculous) but its just how I feel. IDK why I still care for her or want her but I do, even though she clearly doesn't want me(even though she leads me on sometimes still)
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