sadinsocal Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 So, my ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago today. We were together for a little over 2 years, I broke up with him in a fit of anger, and the day after, we mutually agreed it was over....but I guess I'm not really over it because I can't seem to let go of hope. I want him back, but I only want him back after he learns how to respect me... A little background: He caught me checking his online dating account after we had broken up (I mean, come on, it's been 2 years, and less than a week after the breakup he's going on dates with multiple women? Of course I got nosey!) and we had a bit of a fight. I lied about it, felt so bad I ended up telling the truth, and we were able to talk it out. He forgave me, told me he understood, told me he's "so sorry" that I'm hurting so bad right now, but he's "moving on". He told me about the dates he went on, how he really liked one of the girls, blah blah blah. I didn't cry about it, I told him I don't want any suprises and I'd rather hear it from him.... Okay, so this is where I'm getting confused - he says he's moving on, but he keeps finding reasons to call me. For example, we have 2 dogs together, and they both live at his house, so every time he leaves, he's calling me to tell me I can go visit the dogs since he'll be gone. I can't quite figure out if this is a mind game he's playing so that he can let me know how much fun he's having going on all these dates and let me know he's not sitting around crying about me, or if he just really wants to hear my voice, or if he know's I really miss the dogs A LOT, or just what...!? But he's called 3 days in a row now. He's my best friend, my first real love, and I can't imagine life without him. However, because I love him, I'm willing to let him go so that he can be happy...I'm just getting confused here. Any advice?
audrey_1 Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) Well, the dog thing might be a mind game. My ex did the same thing to me, but he wasn't ready to move on. Contacting me about the dog turned into him drunk dialing/texting me, telling me I broke his heart, etc. Breaking up with someone in an irrational "fit of anger" can ruin that original trust. Just be careful. Edited March 16, 2008 by audrey_1
bejshermanoaks Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Just because hes online dating doesnt mean he isnt into you. Im online dating after a few weeks past a breakup, because Im trying to distance myself from the girl that destroyed my heart. Men tend to date way too soon as a distraction--women tend to not date after a break up because they are scared to trust...Its very common actually. I dont see the dog thing as mind games--hes just using it as an excuse to contact you--so, take the bait. Hes wondering why you arent...take the bait, see him and have a good talk (reconnect about whatever it is you have in common).Keep the conversation fun and light (no relationship talk)...; restablish that connection you have. good luck..sounds like he still wants contact with you..CONTACT = HOPE. No Contact is a path that can always potentially end badly, but contact always means life. Much love to you
Jasmine8719 Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 He's just messing with your head...and it doesn't sound like this online dating service is a new thing..especially if you found out about it few days after the breakup...If he didn't respect you why would you want to go back to him...men don't change thats who he is..It might not seem like it but you will fall in love again..you don't deserve to be disrespected no one does. It's really hard for you right now but It will get better...My ex and I broke up after 3 years, he cheated on me..my world was crushed I thought I couldn't live without him I was madly in love...and now I'm so happy I'm not with him he didn't treat me right at all he was very emotionally abusive and I'm glad I never looked back...Now I have someone new; I've been with him for 2 years and I've never been more happy and I never thought I could get to this place. he never tries to control me,tell me what to do, treats me with respect, and he truly loves me...Don't let him run games on you stop all contact with him and move on with your life you will thank yourself later on, trust me Good Luck -Jasmine
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