Gold Pile Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I've been getting plenty of action from a cashier lady, but she's using sex to manipulate me. I'm eager to find another source. I accepted an invitation to help 2 lesbians paint their apartment. Actually they're bi-sexual but I like saying lesbians. I just finished my own ceiling so I filled an empty paint can with water and pounded it shut...looks as good as new and the weight is almost what it should be. I wasn't expected to bring paint (and I'm not;)) but it's still a nice gesture. I emptied my wallet so I could flash it if someone mentioned lunch. The 2 ladies aged 34 and 41 are in my target age range (18-80). The 34 year old is slightly overweight but still appealing. The 41 year old is slender and toned...and would be my 1st choice. My paint can ploy worked better than expected, I was warmly thanked and the can was placed along side several other cans of the same brand. (I shuffled them around later so we'll never know who had the "defective" one) One other lady showed up to help paint. Was she straight? I didn't care, she was obese and lazy. GP has standards you know. She left pretty early. It's not easy to flirt with lesbians....especially when their partner is there. All I could do was climb to the right height on the ladder to put my butt at face level of my target. They didn't say anything and I didn't catch them looking, but I'm a good painter and was focused on that. I excused myself to the bathroom. I did my 4 minute routine....kicked off my sneaks, pulled off my socks, clipped my toenails, shoes and sox back on....all in only 4 minutes. I hate clipping them at home, half of them fly in all directions, it makes house cleaning more of a chore. As ya might imagine the painting was boring. At one point my cell phone rang...it was my elderly Aunt. I answered...and babbled on in mock Mandarin. The ladies seemed impressed, I'll have to explain it to my Aunt someday. Finally 41 was painting near the bathroom. I excused myself again and stood on the toilet seat to take a leak. This amplifies the sound and anyone listening assumes I pack a forceful stream in a large container. They decided to call it quits after the first coat...it takes 4 hours till you can apply 2nd coat. I couldn't find the right words to suggest the 3 of us could "do something" for a few hours, then paint again. The odds were long, but I took a shot. It cost me half a Saturday.
Lizzie60 Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 This is too funny... Keep posting.. I enjoy your posts sooo much.. Maybe you should try the Plumber thing.. with the Plumber's crack.. maybe that would work better..
Author Gold Pile Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 This is too funny... Keep posting.. I enjoy your posts sooo much.. Maybe you should try the Plumber thing.. with the Plumber's crack.. maybe that would work better.. GP has too much class for the crack thing. But I did go commando.
sam light Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 I excused myself to the bathroom. I did my 4 minute routine....kicked off my sneaks, pulled off my socks, clipped my toenails, shoes and sox back on....all in only 4 minutes. I hate clipping them at home, half of them fly in all directions, it makes house cleaning more of a chore.You are like the worst house guest ever! I picture them blaming each other for the toenail clippings.
Author Gold Pile Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 You are like the worst house guest ever! I picture them blaming each other for the toenail clippings. But I am the smartest house guest ever:)
Author Gold Pile Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 I spent the better part of a Saturday painting with lesbians... I didn't get sex, they got my nail clipping. Only Lizzie and Sam responded:mad:
blind_otter Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I think you should always strip completely naked when painting. That way, you don't have to have any paint-splattered clothing. Then, if anything comes up, you guys can deal with it....together.
Replicant Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 The 2 ladies are in my target age range (18-80). Talk about keeping ones options open How often do you find yourself venturing into the maximum limit of a age range like that!?
Lishy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 :lmao::lmao::lmao: You are hilarious GP! Loving your posts!
Author Gold Pile Posted March 19, 2008 Author Posted March 19, 2008 I think you should always strip completely naked when painting. That way, you don't have to have any paint-splattered clothing. Then, if anything comes up, you guys can deal with it....together. I like they way you think!!!!!!
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