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Do your families know? especially for single OW/OM


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Posted

I was just curious how many of the single OW/OM out there have told their families about the A or whose families know somehow anyway??

 

If they know, what have their reactions been and how did they find out?

 

Part of my family knows, although they didnt for along time... they have taken it well. Just wondering how this is for everyone else, how "hidden" are you?

Posted

I was just curious how many of the single OW/OM out there have told their families about the A or whose families know somehow anyway??

 

I have told friends, but not my family.. I am single and old enough to know what I'm doing so IMO, it's not my children's business... I respect them, they respect me.. they never ask questions.. I think my daughter suspects things.. but never said anything.. I know she won't.

 

Just wondering how this is for everyone else, how "hidden" are you?

 

It's not about being 'hidden' it's about respect for privacy.. I never ask 'personal' questions to my daughter.. I respect her privacy.. and she respects mine....

 

She knows I'm happy, I know she is... and that's all what matters.

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Posted

I guess I was thinking more along the lines of adult family members.... parents, brothers, sisters etc

Posted
I guess I was thinking more along the lines of adult family members.... parents, brothers, sisters etc

 

Oh I see.. my daughter is 32... ;)

Posted

My sister knew while I was in the A, because she knows everything about me. She was supportive but after I broke it off she was like, "I knew it was a bad situation and wouldn't work out." I was like, um thanks for telling me! She said "I knew you wouldn't continue to tell me if I told you not to do it... and you just had to find out the hard way."

 

No one else knew. The rest of my family met xMM but as my co-worker/ mentor and friend, and they thought he was divorced. We were setting it up so that later we could say we fell in love after being friends and working together so closely. Now that I remember the level of our deception I feel icky.

 

If I had told my parents or my brother the real truth, they would have given me quite the earful. Even when I was ga ga over xMM, I was way too ashamed of my actions to tell them what I was really doing. :(

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Posted

yea... i had a few friends know, but I didnt tell any family until after MM became xMM, because of the situation and the talk that would be going around they were bound to find out.

Posted
I was just curious how many of the single OW/OM out there have told their families about the A or whose families know somehow anyway??

 

If they know, what have their reactions been and how did they find out?

 

Part of my family knows, although they didnt for along time... they have taken it well. Just wondering how this is for everyone else, how "hidden" are you?

 

My mother and sister knows about him. When we first got back in contact after so many years, I was talking to them about some the things he said to me. They know we talk and text for hours everyday. I've told my sister that he comes by the house from time to time. Last week, he showed up while she was here. My sister thinks we belong together and it is just a matter of time. I know for a fact that's not going to happen.

Posted

MM father and brother knows about me and his feelings for me. They knows that we call and text each other daily. His brother also knows that we hang out sometimes to watch movies and talk. They know for the most part about the EA.

 

I do have a friend who knows about it. She knows about the EA, phone calls, and text messages, and how he has been to my house a few times. We have been out several times and I invited MM to join us. The first time I did that, my friend asked me, have you seen the way he look at you.....that man is in love with you.

Posted
I was just curious how many of the single OW/OM out there have told their families about the A or whose families know somehow anyway??

 

If they know, what have their reactions been and how did they find out?

 

Part of my family knows, although they didnt for along time... they have taken it well. Just wondering how this is for everyone else, how "hidden" are you?

 

If by "family" you mean family of origin (parents, siblings) no - I've never discussed my love life with them at all, and so doing so now would seem odd.

 

If by "family" you mean my kids, then yes, of course they know - they've met MM when he's stayed here, get on well with him, are happy I have someone who makes me happy.

 

If by "family" you mean family of choice - my friends - yes, they all know him, love him, think he's great, and are really happy we're together.

 

His family (parents, siblings) knew from the get go - he's been very open from the start, with everyone, which was easy as he and his W lived very separate lives. He's very close to his family, and they were very welcoming from the outset.

 

His kids - he told a while before his W, in preparing them for the split. Now that the split has happened, they're even more excited.

Posted

my family, including parents know. My friends know , everybody knows, including his wife, and his parents

Posted

The first two families members I told were my sister and cousin. Both of them were quite shocked. I subtly told my mother in the Very beginning, but when I saw the look on her face, I quickly changed the subject.

 

Sister's reaction was "oh, that's not good."

 

Cousin, "Oh Gwyneth, really...you can do much better, and he will probably hurt you in the long run."

 

Mom, ":confused:"

 

No one patted me on the back and said "well good for you!" I guess I was looking for some kind of support but I wasn't getting it from anyone--friends or family.

Posted

Also, MM's mom new. She said to him, "well do what you have to do." :eek:

Posted

When I was an OW my family and friends all knew, and they were really supportive until we split up when they were all very relieved, as they saw how much pain the whole A caused me.

 

My parents met MM both before he left his W, and after. My dad gave him a bit of a talking to beforehand.

 

Most of my friends disapproved, but they kept it to themselves for the most part, and I will always love them for being there for me even though they disgreed with what i was doing.

Posted

I met MMs family after he left his W, and surprisingly, even though they were against the whole thing, they were pretty nice to me. I think it was mainly because they could see how much I cared about his kid...

 

I ended up caring way more for his kid than I did for him in the end. :(

Posted
My dad gave him a bit of a talking to beforehand.

 

 

OH god, How embarassing.

 

I can't wait to hear what my father will say to MM when he meets him. I can only imagine. Step dad too...yikes. Neither of them know I'm preg yet. :o

Posted
OH god, How embarassing.

 

I can't wait to hear what my father will say to MM when he meets him. I can only imagine. Step dad too...yikes. Neither of them know I'm preg yet. :o

 

Well..... just make sure neither of them are armed.....don't expect their reaction to be joyful.

 

You know, I wasn't embarrassed at all when my dad talked to my ex. I thought it was nice- he wasn't mean or anything, he just wanted to know that he wanted my ex to do right by me and keep his word to leave his W.

My dad was sticking up for me and my honour, in his own way.

 

My brother gave my fiance a similar "treat my sister well or else" kind of speech, probably because he saw how messed up I got over the exMM.

 

Now, my brother tells ME to "stay with wonderboy (fiance) or ELSE'- so I guess Wonderboy is a hit with my family.

Posted

His mom knew about me both before and after D-Day and referred to me as his GF, but I'd never met her. I would have liked to but I'm glad I didn't now; since he's xMM now, I wouldn't have wanted to fall in love with his family too. Other family members of his don't *know* about me but suspect and don't like it, so I stay away from them.

 

I had told my Mom, Stepmom, and sisters about the A but only the EA part of it (before D-Day). They didn't offer advice one way or another about it, they were just really supportive. When I found out he was planning on going back home, Stepmom let me cry and commisserated with me for quite awhile (which was helpful). Mom said, "Well, I knew it was gonna happen eventually!" and was largely unsympathetic. I've since found out that my sisters wanted me to ditch him a long time ago.

Posted

I guess we could only hope our friend and family will support Our decision, but to offer words of wisdom. I guess it is to be expected to hear words of wisdom from every person you tell. I was more open to my friends and some coworkers about the affair than most of my family. I never told my other sister or my brothers, aunts, uncles, other cousins, etc. It's not easy to tell people you are involved with a MM. I guess now I have no choice because they'll want to know all about daddy...:rolleyes:

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