beinguptogood Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 (edited) Recently I had lunch with a woman I have deeply admired for some time. It was purely business related. The next day I emailed her to let her know of my admiration for her and interest in knowing her more personally. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]My confidence in emailing her was based on my past experience of her preening in my company, and on the fact that women tend to find my appearance to be very attractive, and also in light of our having similar interests and ambitions.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I then regretted sending the email after not having received any reply, and on the following day I emailed her again to apologise, explaining my behaviour as inappropriate, impulsive, selfish, etc. I told her I did not regret the way I felt but only the way I dealt with it.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]She then replied to my emails, reassuring me that I need not feel ashamed for sending the email. She said she was “not entirely sure how to respond”, but said she found my admiration “flattering”, and added that impulsiveness is not always a bad thing, because it can help us grasp opportunity as they arise, even if they don’t work out as we’d hoped. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]She indicated as “pretty interesting” something about my personal history I’d mentioned in my apology in order to justify or excuse my ‘challenged’ inter-personal skills. Based on what I know about her I reckon this interest is because it might be something we share in common. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]She then said in regards to her being “clear,” that (1) “anything more than friendship is unlikely for the simple fact that I’m already involved with someone else,” and (2) “But, it would be good to catch up and talk over a drink or coffee sometime,” and finally (3) “And as you know, I don’t bull**** much so I do mean that”.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Could you please advise me on how I should interpret these last three sentences of hers, overall? Do you think her use of “unlikely” in (1) is intentionally ambiguous? She could have been more absolutist. Similarly, in saying that her reason for our remaining friends is “the simple fact that …,” is she suggesting that were she not presently in a relationship she might consider my offer? Or is she simply being polite by not saying straight out that she has no interest in me? In light of (2) and (3) I’m not sure. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Anyway I replied to her email by thanking her for her understanding response, and by accepting her offer to meet some time to chat. I left it at that.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Thankyou[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] Edited March 16, 2008 by beinguptogood
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