hecallsmepumpkin Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I already feel like the OW... I guess I'll call him the TM (taken man) Awhile ago I posted about my co-worker probably having feelings for me and how I have feelings for him (for sure). It hasn't slowed down since then... I knew what may start to happen when signs started saying that he may be interested. He's been dating someone for 5 years (his first girlfriend) and although he is dating her, he spends a lot of time connecting with me. Talking to me on IM, texting me, etc. He would always email me during work, he had added me on IM (which I never had a professional co-worker add me onto IM before...). He flirts with me and he calls me pet names (Honey, Dear, Princess, Pumkin, Sugar etc)... he is very supportive through some of our work drama's. We work in different departments but my ex-boss was very unethical in the way he was conducting business (before he was fired) and he really helped me pull through that experience. But other then that, I've never gone to him first to talk about anything. Everytime I sign on or if he signs on and I'm alread on, he would message me first. I do not initiate anything because I know he has a girlfriend and I do NOT want to get in the middle of it. Especially because I work with him. I just thought in my head, he may be interested in me but he is obviously still with his girlfriend for a reason!! And for that, I cannot even talk to him on anything less then a friend level or flirt back or initiate contact first for absolutely no reason. Well today was just the last straw that broke the camels back... It's saturday and I decided to go into the office to get things done. I had expressed to him yesterday that I was most likely going to come into the office today. He said he may too, but didn't know if he was going to. So I'm at the office and about 10 minutes later he shows up... It was fine, we work in different offices but where I was working, it had many stations and he decided to work in a station on the other side of the room as me. We talked for some time but I really had to get things done as I didn't want to stay in the office for THAT long. So I began working and then all of a sudden Jack (another co-worker) comes in. He was stunned to see the both of us and for some reason it made it so awkward for all of us to be there. I've been in the office with Jack on a saturday before and it was never that weird but it felt like they knew something I wasn't aware of. Anyway... Jack kept going in and out of the room that we were in (getting supplies etc) and whenever Jack would leave the TM would start talking to me nonestop. I realized at the end when I was going to leave that he was sitting in his station just searching fark.com (some website that has a lot news), blogs, and buy/sell sites... he wasn't working at all. I don't know what would've happened if Jack didn't show up and now he's been just acting very oddly when we talk on IM... I'm still keeping my composure and not saying much so I don't give him any impressions. But even then, I still can't help but have strong feelings for him...
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I do not initiate anything because I know he has a girlfriend and I do NOT want to get in the middle of it. Especially because I work with him. I just thought in my head, he may be interested in me but he is obviously still with his girlfriend for a reason!! And for that, I cannot even talk to him on anything less then a friend level or flirt back or initiate contact first for absolutely no reason. If you truly feel this way then stop allowing the flirting to happen. You know what's what. He has a girlfriend and for some reason he is lusting after you. Doesn't matter who IM's who first, the point is, you're flirting back and giving him all sorts of signals that you're interested. The cat and mouse game.. You didn't have to tell him you were going to work on Saturday. He showed up because you told him you'd be there. And yes, if Jack hadn't come to work that day as well, WHO knows what would have happened.....Again, if you don't want to be the OW and have drama in your life, then don't put out signals to TM. Jack isn't stupid, I bet he picked up on the weirdness and that probably got him thinking.. You have a work reputation to keep professional. I'm sure others around the office know TM has a girlfriend too. Won't be long before most put two and two together, figure you two are having an affair since they see you two hanging out and flirting. Back off of him, especially online. Put yourself in invisible mode. Start hanging out with other people and single men.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 So, what do you want out of this? Do you really want a guy who is non-committal, cheats, does not respect you as a colleague or coworker, and sees you as the type of woman who will sleep with guys behind their girlfriend's backs? Surely you want someone who will respect you enough not to treat you that way?
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