Tangerina Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 So, I decided to try the internet dating thing to meet some new people. When you put up an ad and you're sorting through a ton of responses, it quickly becomes clear what snap judgments hold the most weight in determining who you find interesting. So far I've found that the two biggest ones are the amount of skill and effort they put into writing back, and looks. Even if someone has a well written response and sounds interesting if I don't think they look like I could ever find them physically attractive then what is the point? I've never felt like it was shallow to acknowledge how much looks matter... and my type is definitely lankier and weirder looking than what is considered conventionally attractive these days. After looks and literacy, I think that politics, religion, and military service are the other things that can make or break a potential connection for me depending on where the person falls. Finally, age is really tricky but I'm 22 and I much prefer people in the 21-27 age group. There is usually such a huge amount of growing up that happens between 20 and 22, but then again everyone is different and earlier this year I was involved with a 20 year old who is a good friend, so this one really depends on the person. Anyone else make this same sort of discovery about themselves?
The Studmuffin Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 never tried internet dating.. but this sounds interesting. and so this stuff happens online.. or you meet them online and then meet ?
melodymatters Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 Yes. I have learned, rather to my dismay, that no matter how intelligent, nice,funny a guy is, if I don't like his looks, it's a no go. It makes me feel sad and shallow, but I tried to make myself 'like" boys back in my teens, and frankly, it doesn't work any better now at 40 !
Author Tangerina Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 Melody, I don't think it is sad and shallow at all. Attraction is a very weird thing and the visual aspect is pretty integral for most people. What is sad and shallow is when society doesn't treat those that don't measure up to the insane beauty standard as less valuable citizens. Subconscious (or even conscious) discrimination against the fat, short, disabled, or just plain different is so not cool. But as far as recognizing that there are certain things that attract you to a person is just a fact of life. I like lanky, slightly femmy, tall boys and my sister likes short, stocky boys. Everyone is someone's ideal type, no matter their size, shape, color, or ability. Our society just makes it really hard to like someone outside of what is considered normal because you get so much **** for it.
Stockalone Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 Anyone else make this same sort of discovery about themselves? Why would you need to try internet dating to realize that looks matter? Maybe it's because I am a shallow guy, but the following has always been self-evident to me: Physical attraction is somewhat shallow but I don't think there is a substitution. Personality can enhance or diminish the initial interest quite a bit but I don't think that there is a way around the physical attraction. And speaking as a guy, the first thing we notice about a woman we don't know, are her looks. From a distance, there is no way to tell whether or not she has a great personality. We can, however, tell if we like what we see. The first attraction is physical.
Enema Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 After looks and literacy, I think that politics, religion, and military service are the other things that can make or break a potential connection for me depending on where the person falls. How do you feel about people that have served in the military?
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