diana7 Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 After a year my divorce is finally final. I have lurked the boards here for awhile. I feel like I'm almost healed from the hurt of the divorce. I have been doing the no contact for about 2months now. But there is just one thing I'm having trouble getting past.... My ex left me for another woman and it took me awhile to finally get past that and not think about the if's and the why's. We have a 6 yearold son together and when our son leaves from the ex's house back to mine he tells me about his dad bringing other women over, he asked last week what a prostitute is etc, every weekend it's something new. I try to change the subject with him. I would prefer our son not to bring up these things about his dad because they spark up bad memories but at the same time I don't want our son to just keep his thoughts inside. Also I have tried bringing this up with the ex many months ago but he says I'm jealous. Any advice appreciated.
carhill Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 If you wish your child to not be exposed to other women by your X, he should respect that. Do you feel this exposure is causing harm to his emotional well-being? What visitation arrangement was negotiated as part of the divorce? Do you have joint physical custody? Your son is only talking about things to which he is exposed. Of course, he has no idea of the emotional impact on you. IMO, if he were my son, I'd listen and answer any questions he had, appropriate to his age level, and try to keep communication lines open. I presume your X is no longer with the woman he left you for, based on "women" your son talks about. Has that part healed yet, or are you seeing her anytime your son brings up any woman? That's hard IMO, this issue (exposing your son to other women), if it is a big one with you (for his emotional well-being), would be worth breaking NC for. Maybe your X will listen this time. I hope so
Author diana7 Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 The custody is 50/50 split. I had suspicions during the divorce process that he was cheating and that, that was the reason he walked out. During the divorce hearing he was accusing me of cheating:rolleyes:. I found out for sure when I saw them flaunting in my face...hugged up. I believe he is still with her, she has called me and makes comments about "taking over my role as a mother" and "beating me to a bloody pulp". I know I'm a great mother so that doesn't bother me. I think the ex is doing dirt on the side while the other woman isn't around. It sicken me for along to think of if he cheated and then slept with me during the marriage...and I'm about 80% healed from that pain but anytime our son brings up sexual nature questions about his dad it hurts. Thanks for your advice on answering his questions age appropriately. Thats a good idea. I'm debating about talking to his dad again because the last time when our son caught him in the act and we talked he just kept saying "why can't you get over me" and "your jealous". So I'm trying to figure out how to handle this without the ex getting a big head over this. He's retarded because I would never bring different men around my child...it confuses them. I don't know why he is talking about prostitutes in from of him either.
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