Ormolu611 Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 My long term (10 year) girlfriend broke up with me just over a year ago. I feel as though I am almost over it and I have, in the meanwhile, been dating this great girl for about 5 months. Last night, me, my current girlfriend, a couple of her girlfriends and a couple of my guy friends were hanging out at an outdoor bar together listening to live music. One of my friends was for some reason acting a bit more crass than usual and ended up showing us pictures of some poor girl that he had "hooked up" with on his phone that she had sent to him. Yes, my friend is somewhat of "slut." The photos were of this girl's ass, various nude poses, etc. Bad taste for sure to be showing such images to a table full of your friends. Bad taste, but no one appeared to be overly offended. No big deal. Anyway, the conversation evolved, and we started talking about drug use and sex. At one point, my girlfriend starts to talk about extacy and the effect that it can have on a man's erection. She was specifically talking to the friend who had the photos on his phone and had started the whole thread of conversation, but she happened to be sitting right next to me. She said that extacy can sometimes result in a multiple hour erection. My friend replied that if he were in such a situation that he would just masturbate to solve the problem. My girlfriend then began to emphatically point out that nothing would cause such an erection to go away, and that it could last for four hours. I felt embarassed. She ended up with saying something to the effect that based upon her experience "when you are in the right state of mind, extacy can really enhance the sex." I have been bothered by these comments ever since. Here is the deal: I am an adult, and I very well know that as an adult herself, she has had various sexual relationships in the past. She has told me about some of the guys that she has dated over the years and naturally, I have told her a bit about my relationship. She has even been married before and has a child. For all I know she could have been talking about experiences that she had with her ex husband. All no big deal - none of these things is the issue for me. The point is this . . . I just feel like, damn - some things are probably better left unsaid. I think that what she had to say was maybe a bit too graphic for me, and I felt awkward because of the situation that we were in - sitting at the table with friends. Again, she was directing these comments specifically to my friend and I just happened to be sitting next to her. Is there such a thing as being too candid? I don't know if I am being crazy for being bothered or what? I mean, I look at her differently know - is that insane? I am not saying that I think that she is or was promiscuous or anything - like I said, the experience may have even been with her husband for all I know. Regardless of who it was with and what the circumstance was, I feel that I don't want to hear about how you worked for four hours trying to get some guys erection to subside. Gross! Am I being crazy? Now I wondering if I started dating too seriously (5 month relationship) too soon after my breakup. Maybe my head is not clear yet.
garnet Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 I don't think you're being stupid. As a very private person, it would have bothered me too. Maybe it wasn't something she normally would have said if she hadn't been drinking...had she had a lot to drink?
AussieJack Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 I don't want to hear about how you (she) worked for four hours trying to get some guys erection to subside. Gross! Am I being crazy? Now I wondering if I started dating too seriously (5 month relationship) too soon after my breakup. Maybe my head is not clear yet. Your girlfriend disrepected you and the personal intimacy of your relationship with her. Her comments were thoughtless and insensitive and crass. Unfortunately you have just witnessed the UNLADYLIKE behavior of some modern western women. Dude, if you want some advice about what to do, post back -I need to think about this one.
Author Ormolu611 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Your girlfriend disrepected you and the personal intimacy of your relationship with her. Her comments were thoughtless and insensitive and crass. Unfortunately you have just witnessed the UNLADYLIKE behavior of some modern western women. Dude, if you want some advice about what to do, post back -I need to think about this one. Thanks for the responses guys. Yeah, I am kind of confused. I have been thinking about it myself. The fact that I am as confused as I am has had me concerned about whether or not I am over reacting. The responses her have helped, but now what? I thought about bringing it up today with her, but decided not to just because of my insecurity about the whole thing. Actually, I am not sure what I would even say at this point. I am trying to decide if it is even worth the confrontation? I am just bothered and saddened that it happened.
Author Ormolu611 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 I don't think you're being stupid. As a very private person, it would have bothered me too. Maybe it wasn't something she normally would have said if she hadn't been drinking...had she had a lot to drink? Oh, and yes, she was probably a little buzzed - but so was I. I have wondered myself about the alcohol's effect, but it still does not make me feel any better.
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