nadiaj2727 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 what did she say? I didnt hear her..... twice-shy is a guy. But good for you for not hearing him.
twice_shy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Your comments are not helpful in the least. You just want to give everyone your opinion about them. Sorry but no one really cares what you think of them... or what I think or what anyone thinks about them personally. They are just looking for helpful advice about their situation. You are not here to help him, only judge him, so what's the point? Doesn't that just drag you down instead of lifting you up? Do you think you're so important that your vague, sarcastic comment on a forum is going to make the poster realize the errors of his ways and become Mr. Man of the Year? Why don't you go do something useful, like becoming a happier person who has better things to do than go around judging online strangers in an OW/ OM forum? I don't understand why you insist on stirring up negativity everywhere you go, nor why you insist on visiting sites you obviously vehemently disagree with. I'm not going to go to some Pro Life site just to tell everyone there I disagree with them. For one thing that would just make them hate me and Pro Choice people even more. For another thing, that would be a waste of my time because I don't seriously think I can change any of their minds. For another thing, a pro life forum is the last place I'd choose to spend my time because I am pro choice. Yet here you are spending time purposefully harrassing people whose choices and opinions you vehemently disagree with. What is the point of that, seriously? Sorry, I found it odd that someone that doesn't know the first thing about it saying he had a "shield" with those virtues. Its kind of a slap in the face to people who actually DO believe in those virtues.
Tomcat33 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Sorry, I found it odd that someone that doesn't know the first thing about it saying he had a "shield" with those virtues. Its kind of a slap in the face to people who actually DO believe in those virtues. It's a slap in the face to actual knights? I just see it as Stamp being poetic like that, to him he felt like he was saving this woman. I understand to you TS and to others it can be seen as quite campy coming from a man in "his" shoes to use those words but in HIS realationship to this woman it is what or how he felt. That does not excuse what he represents to the rest of the world for being an accomplice in the A or for doing "what he did" to the BS, but in HIS tale strictly with this woman that is who he was, according to what he lived.
nadiaj2727 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Sorry, I found it odd that someone that doesn't know the first thing about it saying he had a "shield" with those virtues. Its kind of a slap in the face to people who actually DO believe in those virtues. Okay. In my opinion, your stating this in your post would have given it more value. You could have said "as someone who believes in honor and virtue, I disagree with you that you held these values as you engaged in an affair with a married woman." Then he could have responded to your opinion with why he felt he had these values or chosen to disregard your opinion, but at least your post would have had more context and use to this particular thread. As it was, it just a direct attack on the poster, which is hardly helpful...
nadiaj2727 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 It's a slap in the face to actual knights? LOL, that's funny! I just pictured an actual (yet Monty Python-esque) knight getting slapped in the face by a computer screen with stampdaddy's post on it.
Author stampdaddy Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 twice-shy is a guy. But good for you for not hearing him. WHO????????????
norajane Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 WHO???????????? If only you could think that way when the MW calls! One day, you will.
Author stampdaddy Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 It's a slap in the face to actual knights? I just see it as Stamp being poetic like that, to him he felt like he was saving this woman. I understand to you TS and to others it can be seen as quite campy coming from a man in "his" shoes to use those words but in HIS realationship to this woman it is what or how he felt. That does not excuse what he represents to the rest of the world for being an accomplice in the A or for doing "what he did" to the BS, but in HIS tale strictly with this woman that is who he was, according to what he lived. I can understand how "my thoughts and behaviors" could upset someone, especially a BS H.. BUT, I met a person, who I thought was on her way out, fell in love, dedicated that love, not only to her, but the ENTIRE situation.. got lost at the end and BAM! here I am, trying to pick myself up.. I was told that WE would be, but we aren't and there is really nothing I can do except go on, ask for Forgiveness, and NEVER, EVER do this again
twice_shy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 It's a slap in the face to actual knights? Ya, that too. Poor knights!
twice_shy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Okay. In my opinion, your stating this in your post would have given it more value. You could have said "as someone who believes in honor and virtue, I disagree with you that you held these values as you engaged in an affair with a married woman." Then he could have responded to your opinion with why he felt he had these values or chosen to disregard your opinion, but at least your post would have had more context and use to this particular thread. As it was, it just a direct attack on the poster, which is hardly helpful... No, you would have still posted what you did in response. What I say strikes a nerve with you because you are a cheater. Sorry.
Owl Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I'm NOT a cheater. I'm a formerly betrayed spouse. I DETEST cheating. But I also don't see any value in simply coming onto this site with the sole agenda of insulting those who post here. What are you looking to accomplish with your time here, Twice Shy? Are you looking for support/advice/answers to questions? Are you looking to provide support/advice/answer questions? What's your GOAL for being here?
twice_shy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I'm NOT a cheater. I'm a formerly betrayed spouse. I DETEST cheating. But I also don't see any value in simply coming onto this site with the sole agenda of insulting those who post here. What are you looking to accomplish with your time here, Twice Shy? Are you looking for support/advice/answers to questions? Are you looking to provide support/advice/answer questions? What's your GOAL for being here? I have advised other people to get a divorce, dump their cheater, whatever. But that is an unpopular view especially to people who have cheated. I have been told I was narrow minded for telling people that I advise divorce in the face of infidelity. Well then doesn't it make it narrow minded for all those people that say give it a shot too? We all have our opinions. Sorry if mine isn't very popular with certain people. Some people advise counseling, working things out, some advise divorce and separation. I advise the latter. sorry.
Owl Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I don't think that its your advice that's the issue. I happen to feel that some marriages are recoverable after infidelity, and some are not. There are indeed times when divorce and "moving on" are called for. No argument from me there. But not every time. But that isn't the source of the contention here. What do you gain by posting insulting comments like those you've done on this thread and others...and where is the advice you've given on this thread? Why not post more advice, and less insults?
Lookingforward Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I've been mulling this over and I really feel if it was me I would take Owl's advice (I think it was Owl) and pack it all up and send it back to her, no note, no explanation, nothing. Surely that would be a message as strong as you could possibly send, that you are D-O-N-E
Lookingforward Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I have advised other people to get a divorce, dump their cheater, whatever. We all have our opinions. Sorry if mine isn't very popular with certain people. Some people advise counseling, working things out, some advise divorce and separation. I advise the latter. sorry. Then shouldn't you be 'advising' this over on a married or infidelity board ? Seems like a waste of time to be telling an OW/OM that divorce and/or separation is the answer.
Author stampdaddy Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 I've been mulling this over and I really feel if it was me I would take Owl's advice (I think it was Owl) and pack it all up and send it back to her, no note, no explanation, nothing. Surely that would be a message as strong as you could possibly send, that you are D-O-N-E But I amnot D-O-N-E yet.. I am trying to get there though.... I just need a little more T-I-M-E..
Lookingforward Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 But I amnot D-O-N-E yet.. I am trying to get there though.... I just need a little more T-I-M-E.. O-K-A-Y Take a deep B-R-E-A-T-H
Author stampdaddy Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 O-K-A-Y H-E-E H-E-E.. I will get there...
BetrayedMM Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I had hoped the Florida trip would allow you time for closure. I guess it ain't that easy. I know getting my evil 'wife' out of here sure soothed my roiling guts, and hoped distance would do the same for you. Oh well, like that old geezer said on 'Grumpy old men', if ya wish in one hand and crap in the other, what do ya have? It's going to start warming up outside soon. Golf man, golf! (as if anything could stop ya)
twice_shy Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 I used to kind of admire your stance on cheating, but after reading several of your posts, my admiration is quickly fading. Your posts are pretty negative and hateful. To each his own.
Owl Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Looking for a sitrep...how're you doing out there, old son?
nadiaj2727 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 What I say strikes a nerve with you because you are a cheater. Sorry. Nope, wrong. What strikes a nerve with me about what you say is that just because you were cheated on/ hurt, you think that all "cheaters" are inherently evil and can never change. This viewpoint leaves no room for human growth, development, forgiveness, change... not to mention reality. I know that a person who has cheated can change and your snide little comments aren't going to change my mind about myself, "sorry"! So you can just leave them out or else waste your breath/ fingers.
twice_shy Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Nope, wrong. What strikes a nerve with me about what you say is that just because you were cheated on/ hurt, you think that all "cheaters" are inherently evil and can never change. Yup, thats what I think. Sorry.
nadiaj2727 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Yup, thats what I think. Sorry. No need to be sorry to me, I don't care because I don't agree with you. Honestly I feel sorry for you for having that outlook and not realizing the good in humanity just because something bad happened to you (which I am not trying to downplay). I know who I am, where I have come from and where I am going and your opinion that I will always be a cheater does not sway me one bit. Neither does it sway those who have chosen to stay with their partners after a betrayal, forgive them and try to work it out because they honestly love them and know that they are remorseful. So you're the one who is wasting your breath with your negative comments aimed at me and my life, and others who have betrayed or been betrayed and who are not doing things the way you did them. All that work might be better spent in therapy for your own healing in your own life. Just sayin'.
twice_shy Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 No need to be sorry to me, I don't care because I don't agree with you. Honestly I feel sorry for you for having that outlook and not realizing the good in humanity just because something bad happened to you (which I am not trying to downplay). I know who I am, where I have come from and where I am going and your opinion that I will always be a cheater does not sway me one bit. Neither does it sway those who have chosen to stay with their partners after a betrayal, forgive them and try to work it out because they honestly love them and know that they are remorseful. So you're the one who is wasting your breath with your negative comments aimed at me and my life, and others who have betrayed or been betrayed and who are not doing things the way you did them. All that work might be better spent in therapy for your own healing in your own life. Just sayin'. Thats all fine and dandy. And if someone chooses to stay with a cheater, then they have their reasons. My sympathies still lie with them. For me, I don't have the luxury of wasting any trust on someone that has proven themselves untrustworthy in the past. Someone else can waste that trust on them. I won't
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