anotherother24 Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Well, it's been...basically 7 months since MM has called me, 2 months since I've called him, and about 2 weeks since the last I've heard of him. I'm feeling...better than day 1 but it seems like I'll never get over this maybe it's because I haven't tried hard enough....and part of me doesn't WANT to get over him. I want him to come back but it's not looking good. and it hurts like h-ll sometimes. My mom saw him outside his house about 2 weeks ago and stopped to talk to him. ( she knows him also, they are kind of like friends.) So of course she mentioned me to him. She said he looked sad and looked like he really felt bad. He said he felt so bad but he didn't know what to do because his wife is much stronger than him. He said he tried to hard ( which, he really did) but he didn't know what to do. She told him if he could please just call me if he gets a chance. He said I would tell his wife...but she told him I wouldn't, that I just wanted to talk to him. So he said he would call. No word yet though, but his wife is with him most of the time so theres still a chance... but I'm trying to lose hope there. I feel so stupid. Why can't I just give up?? I just miss him sooo much. Is it normal to still feel sad after this long? I guess there is no time really...I mean..it's been 7 months since it started...but then I contacted him...so it put me back I guess...but I feel like I can't help it. I've never really been in a relationship before this one and it just sucks. To love someone and have no problem with them but not be able to be with them because of someone else...I'm sure we can all relate to that feeling! lol it sucks!
White Flower Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 So sorry to hear about how long it is taking you to get over this. When I stop to think about taking that plunge to end it with my MM, it drives me insane. I began thinking this way again yesterday after a long heart to heart talk with him and I've been an emotional sap ever since. I think you are one tough cookie to get this far so stay strong and let us know how it gets better over time. Hugs, WF
GreenEyedLady Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 What are you wanting from him? Because if you want him to leave, he's showing you he's staying put... He is wanting you to view him as a trapped victim, unable to make a move because he "can't"...Is that the type of man you want to spend your life with? He is there because he wants to be... I'm sorry that it's so hard...But if it's only been 7 months, with 2 of those NC, just imagine what it will be like if you continue to go down this road... It's one thing if you're getting your needs met and you're happy, but you don't sound that way at all... If you decide you'll go back to the way it was, then you'll need to accept that what it is, is all it will ever be...Otherwise, it will drive you crazy hoping... MM do leave their W's, but if he blames his W's strength for staying, it doesn't sound real likely...Just being real with you... Keep posting...We'll be here for you... (((HUGS)))
whichwayisup Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 1)Tell your mom to not tell you if she's spoken to him. All that does is keep your wounds open. It is very unfair of her to tell you this stuff about him UNLESS she is unaware that you had an affair with him... 2)It's over, he's not coming back and the sooner you choose to accept this and deal with your pain, the sooner you can heal. Hanging on and wishing him back isn't going to help you. All that does is keep a fantasy going and a "hope" which really isn't there. Keep as busy as you can, this way your mind is occupied with other things. DO NC in your head too. Retrain your brain - Push thoughts of him away and don't allow yourself to 'think and fantasize' about him or what it could have been. All that does is prevent you from moving on emotionally. Don't let this ruin you. You were fine before you met him, and you'll be fine again. Rely on your friends, LS and family to help you through this.
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