SOS_Please Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 As a college student, I have had crushes on two of my professors, and I know quite a few students who have also experienced a crush or two on their professors. Some students even become hostile when professors don't respond well to them--I know one guy in particular who practically stalked one of his professors, until the professor finally asked him not to take any more of her classes, or correspond with her at all. A few years ago, I myself was pretty disillusioned regarding my relationship with one of my professors--not to the point of stalking, but I did get emotional about the situation. He was always so kind to me--in an appropriate manner (he never indicated any interest in me other than as my educator), but I completely took it wrong. Granted he never knew how I felt, and we are still on good terms, but it took a long time to get over my infatuation with him, which was emotionally trying. Anyway, it seems to be a pretty common occurance amongst students across the board. Is this an occupational hazard? I am thinking about becoming a teacher myself, and wonder how you deal with student crushes? Is it as common as it seems to be? Do you--teachers/professors--also form crushes on your students?
Green Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 I'm not a teacher, but people can probably be attracted to people no matter what there profession is. The problem with a student being attracted to a teacher is that the teacher is in a posistion of power and it would be inapropriate for a relationship. I think you should consider other factors before you worry about this one if your deciding to be a teacher. If you think you are going to have problems keeping boundaries you probably shouldn't become a teacher, but that doesnt seem to stop some people.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Usually the students that fall for their professors are inexperienced in the fields of dating and are disillusioned when it comes to separating reality from their own fantasies. Or they are wary of normal relationships with their fellow peers and sees their professors as someone much more mature and different. It's a very huge problem in the fact that the professors are usually the one persecuted because its unprofessional to get involved with a student and you'll likely lose your credentials.
privyet Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 I'm the wife of a college professor, and I'll tell you straight up this is an extremely dangerous game to play, for a few reasons. A lot of academic types tend to be very egotistical - it is often the nature of the game. Pretty much all my husband's colleagues (and my H too, frankly) have pretty big egos about what they've achieved as academics, and I've seen this is widespread in the profession. So when a student falls for them, often they will feed that flame - just a little bit - because they LOVE the attention. But not too much to let it become inappropriate. So you kid yourself if you think they're not getting something out of it too (why wouldn't an older professor be flattered by attention from a young student..) Don't go there. Exercise good judgement early on - game-playing like this can lead to a lot of hurt - and if you think YOU're hurt, think about the fact that they may have families and children too - you don't need to take part in unethical behavior.
Author SOS_Please Posted March 26, 2008 Author Posted March 26, 2008 I'm not a teacher, but people can probably be attracted to people no matter what there profession is. The problem with a student being attracted to a teacher is that the teacher is in a posistion of power and it would be inapropriate for a relationship. I think you should consider other factors before you worry about this one if your deciding to be a teacher. If you think you are going to have problems keeping boundaries you probably shouldn't become a teacher, but that doesnt seem to stop some people. Oh, well, I can never say "never," but it wouldn't occur to me (if I were a teacher) to think of my students as anything remotely romantic. I love learning, and I love helping others learn as well. It's my passion. I just worry that I will have issues with disillusioned students as well. I asked merely because I was wondering how professors deal with this crap. I never realized how prevelant (sp?) the issue was until recently. Anyway, thank you three for your comments. Oh, to privyet: I merely had a crush on him (which he didn't know about)--we never acted upon anything, and he was always very professional with me. LOL, that was my first year of college, and I was pretty ignorant about most things, including my relationship with that professor. But that was a long time ago, and I never did anything unethical concerning him. Haha, and egos do seem to be inflated amongst most of the faculty here at my college. I hope I wouldn't be too egotistical of a professor, if I were to be one.
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