mortensorchid Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Recently I was going out with this one guy for a bit. I found him vain and self important, and decided to just move on and not return his calls or emails. He also seemed uninterested. Just tonight, he sent me this email ... I have the distinct feeling I blew it, but its how things go. I could see you being someone I could really like. One thing I found is that its better to have things not work out before things would hurt if they didn't work out. I do not tend to jump into relationships because my goal is to have them last forever. As we all do, I have my tests for people. My problems isn't that you have faults, but you don't feel comfortable enough to talk about them. I feel it gives something more power than it deserves. If something minor is such an issue at the start, than what happens when life throws a real monkey wrench into the works? I apologize if bringing it up is a bother; I wanted to give a little insight why I would be opposed to see someone who smokes. I hope the little time you knew me, I came across as a little out of the ordinary of one's fellow males. Your a nice person and you shouldn't settle for anyone too beneath what you deserve. Also, don't put yourself too above everyone because you deserve someone special to share all the wonderful parts of life with too. Take care I am totally offended by this. Any evidence I had that he was vain and self centered is solidified by this. I already have a father, and I already have a shrink. Faults? Well of course I have them, I'm not perfect. But I can't recall him ever asking me about them, and based on three evenings together, how can he know my faults let alone anything about me? Tests? What tests? I think all we talked about were my allergies to cats. He also said he doesn't have many friends, but he has a girlfriend and that's all he needs. I was put off by this, as I felt like he would use me as his only social outlet. I am angry this man felt he had to rub salt into me.
nicki Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 I guess your instincts were dead on about his guy! He IS self-centered and just plain stupid to send an email like that. My guess is that he is fishing to see why YOU didn't find him interesting. He's simply saying all that other stuff to make it seem like HE'S the one in control deciding that you aren't for him. It's a bunch of excuses because his ego is hurt that you didn't stay in contact with him. He even said that he wanted you to think he was above other males that you know. And giving unsolicited advice is my job, not his! Plus, he's disguising put-downs as advice. Yeah, right, whatever. Don't respond at all!
carhill Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Sounds like a canned "up yours" draft, appended since you evidently smoke (I presume he knew this and went out with you anyway). Folks that do stuff like that don't exist in your world. The preceding did not happen Was this the guy that showed up high to your dinner date?
AussieJack Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Sounds like a canned "up yours" draft, appended since you evidently smoke (I presume he knew this and went out with you anyway). Folks that do stuff like that don't exist in your world. The preceding did not happen Was this the guy that showed up high to your dinner date? Yeh, this guy is egocentic and vain . A brat in an adult body. A 'real man' would never have sent you that - it was a deliberate 'slap down'... A 'gentleman' would never write to a lady that way after a few dates. If he did not want to date a smoker then that is his entitlement, but the way he wrote you is sneering and superior. He is just a 'snotbag '..
fishtaco Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Heh, that was lame. Best thing to do in this situation for him would have been just to let it disappear. You two didn't seem like you went far enough to need a closure, this was unnecessary even if it were a good closure. And this is a crap one. Anyway, don't be offended, and you didn't do anything wrong so there's no reason to feel bad (the rubbing salt thing), this is a simple case of things not working out. He's being lame, if I were him I'd be embarrassed.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 He also said he doesn't have many friends, but he has a girlfriend and that's all he needs. I was put off by this, as I felt like he would use me as his only social outlet. I am angry this man felt he had to rub salt into me. Gee I wonder why he doesn't have many friends ha don't you? lmao.. I agree with Aussie this guys a snot bag he tries to act so Superior and smart but what did he just miss that you smoke on the 1st 2 dates? Oh wait no maybe his vast powers of observation and intellect were stunted those nights must have been to much chocolate milk before the dates lol And hes got a gf already? I'm not trying to judge you but were you ok with that or were you honestly just looking for a friendship kinda deal? Ether way I would email him back and let him know were to ride his high horse to and ask him if it hurts every time he sits down? What with that stick up there and all but I think they make a cream for that actually so maybe there is hope for him after all little nit whit twrp.
stillafool Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Do not respond to him! I promise you that will be the best revenge!! It will drive him crazy because it sounds like he does like you.
Author mortensorchid Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 Sounds like a canned "up yours" draft, appended since you evidently smoke (I presume he knew this and went out with you anyway). Folks that do stuff like that don't exist in your world. The preceding did not happen Was this the guy that showed up high to your dinner date? No, that was someone else. But he might as well have, because three encounters rather than one where he was high would have put it to bed sooner having to waste three evenings with this vain and self centered loser.
Author mortensorchid Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought this person was self important and too in love with the sound of his own voice to love anyone else but himself. I will not respond to this email. I might write a blog about it, but that's for another forum.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 You know, just recently (and it's been about 6 months since I saw or spoke to him last) he sent me a text message. I asked if he was this one friend of mine who asked if I had his cell number as he recently changed his. I thought it was the same friend who was sending me a text message. I texted back "Is this (Friend's name?)". He wrote back "Who I am is not important". Huh? I called the number, he didn't pick up, but when I heard the message with his name on it, I texted back to him "Please do not contact again". Haven't heard from him. Via text message that is. He wrote me on the Yahoo IM! He said "I know you have probably deleted this ID, but I just got back from a really bad date and I was wondering how you're doing". The nerve of some people!
carhill Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Benign sociopathy. Accept it for what it is. Be glad it isn't part of your universe
shanny Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Wow... he is totally conceited. If someone told me that they gave me a test, and I failed, I would be pissed! Relationships should not be about people testing each other, more just getting to know each other and seeing if they are compatable. Ugh, I would want to write back some smart *ss reply but I think he's such a loser that you should just let it go. Man, people are weird.
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