willitwork Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 My husband and I never go out until i say lets go out somewhere.Is there something wrong with me.We dont go anywhere it seems like.He never tells me I look nice unless I say something.It just seems like he is just with me because ,Because what I dont know.I Love him and want to do stuff with him but he said as long as I ask him to go out it dont matter who ask who.But it is nice for a women to feel like she is special.Not only when some one else wants to take her out is when he wants to ask.I am a mother with 5 kids and need to get out and feel special sometimes.I try to make him feel special by taking him out sometimes. What do you good people out there think.Please write back:confused:
Blue Eyed Brain Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 You should dedicate one night a week to "date night." The foundation of your family is not your children but your marriage or relationship with your spouse. Keep that fun, open and close (tender) and you will know who your partner is. Once the kids grow up and move out, you will be stuck with him. So, get your's and his butt off the sofa and get out and have fun. Even just a walk on the beach; if money is tight. If he doesn't want to do this, tell him to do it for you and for the good of the relationship. If this falls by the waist side, reexamine your relationship. It may just be an easy thing to let it go. No partnership should be that.
Ronni_W Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 For most couples, each one has a different idea of what makes them feel special. For you, it is being asked and taken out. For him, it probably is something totally different than being asked and taken out. He may prefer that you stay home, eat wieners and beans, and watch some sporting event on TV. And he's probably doing something that HE assumes makes you feel special because that is what would make him feel special. Like, he probably stays home, cooks wieners and beans, and puts on the sporting event on TV . (Are you seeing the pattern?) But you'll not make each OTHER feel special by satisfying your own needs -- that's all you're doing when you drag him out, even though you're telling yourself that you're doing it for him to feel special. You both need to start talking with each other, and sharing your likes and preferences. Create a plan on how often you'll each do what the other wants -- and neither one gets to moan and complain, whether they're at the ballet or a monster truck rally! There's nothing "wrong" with his needs and preferences or with yours. You both just need to learn to compromise and stop being so self-focused.
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