pr-girl Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 Over a year ago, I met a man on an airplane. It was an instant attraction. I live in Las Vegas and he lives in LA. We stayed in touch through email. Several months ago, we began dating. We dated LD for about 3 months. Everything was amazing in the beginning, but our feelings got deeper and deeper for each other. Maybe because we were far apart, we didn't think it could happen, but we got very close, very quickly. A month ago today, he broke things off. He said the distance is too difficult for him. That he hurts when he hears my voice, when he wants me next to him and I'm not there, when he can't see me, can't smell me, etc. He says he could never open his heart fully to me while I'm so far away. He feels that when the option for me to visit is there, he can only anticipate the misery of when I leave him. We have opposite work schedules that make it hard to visit. It seems as though he can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. All he concentrates on is how he feels NOW. He says he trusts me and says he's opened up to me more than any woman he can ever remember. He's a very deep, emotional and sensitive person. I'm having a VERY hard time letting him go. He said when we broke up, he thought he'd feel relieved from the pain, but he only feels worse now. Friends have told me that they don't think it's over between us. He is such a wonderful man. I want him to be happy, even if it's without me in his life. But, I don't want to hold on hope if this is the end. Has anyone gone through a similar situation? The hardest part of the breakup is the fact that no one did anything wrong and we both feel VERY deeply for each other. Why can't he just believe in us and give it a chance? ~PR-girl
LuCidiTy Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 i'm going through a similar situation right now and feel deeply for you. right now is all he can deal with too (a very difficult child custody case where he has dug in and pretty much lost his mind and can't focus on anything else...not himself, not us, not anything). you're probably the one who knows him best (how truthful and honest he is), so between that and what's in your own heart and logical mind, you've got to come to a reality you can live and deal with and have patience. in my case, i finally had to stop crying long enough to say i trust him, love him, believe him about what he told me, but will still get on and keep on with my life, in a way assuming the worst, as i wait for him to figure it all out and get through his nightmare, until the day that i can't wait anymore...a compromise of sorts to help me get through it. i'm fully aware that when he does get through it, i may not be the one he comes to as well, but by that time, it all should get easier to bear. i assume yours is/was an LD telationship and was destined to remain so for some time to come because you guys weren't at a point yet where one or the other was ready or willing or able to move?
Author pr-girl Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 I will eventually move to LA since my family and old friends are there and my career field is more important in a bigger city. He knows this, but it's so soon to discuss it. We only dated 3 months before we broke up. How can I make such a leap if I'm not sure we can last as a couple? I'm all for taking risks, but after just a few months? It doesn't seem realistic. If I had one wish, I wish he could hold out for a year or so and see what happens. Does the fact that he can't do this mean I'm not worth it to him?
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