Shindig Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 I really need my boyfriend to communicate with me. We keep having fights about these same issues. When things get heated we have no problem taking a break to cool down but we have never come back to resolve the issue in the 2.5 months we've been together. I've told him verbally and in my e-mails that his chronic tardiness and failure to call upset me. I make suggestions as to solutions. I need to know his stance on these things. I need to know what goes through his mind when we argue and why he does the things that upset me. I want to be able to better put myself in his shoes so I don't get as frustrated with him. I want him to understand why I get upset so he can put himself in my shoes. If we can't work together to resolve problems and increase our understanding of the other person's point of view, this relationship will not work. I know talking about these things isn't always pleasant, but it is definitely better than fighting about the same things over and over again until one of us gets so sick of it that they leave. We're supposed to go for dinner with his family tonight. I'm not looking forward to rocking the boat after dinner. If he stonewalls me again I can't imagine any other outcome than the end of our relationship.
Storyrider Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Your boyfriend is most likely angry at you (or someone else) and is constantly late because he's passive aggressive and can't express that anger directly.
carhill Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 It's about priorities.... I've noticed this with my wife. We're never late to MC but fugetabout being on time, or, instead, rushing like a madwoman at the last minute and berating me for driving like grandpa all the way there, anytime we go other places. Strangely, she once complained about her X being passive-aggressive and always making them late Such lack of concern is infectious. I've even seen the effects on myself, where now I don't put a priority on punctuality like I used to as a single person. I feel your pain My guess is if this is a symptom of other issues in your relationship, he may just not be into you. That's the feeling I've been getting from my wife of late.
thornfield Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Is he late when goes to hang out with his friends or family? Is he constantly late to work? If he is on time for everyone/everything else except you, then there is a problem. If he is across the board tardy, then you just need to accept that this is the way he is.
AvgJoeDoe Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 I came to that stage once but it was because of personal problems. I tell you this from my perspective, I didnt want to pass my negativity with my ex so i felt that not being with her would not have an effect but i was so wrong. That put the relationship on a string for a bit and i reacted when she told me this words that i wont forget "Where's the person I fell in love with?" maybe he needs a wake up call like me. Talk to him maybe he has financial problems or family issues hes not comfortable telling you about and his only way of dealing is to keep you away or making you upset.
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