ARDriver01 Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 So I'm dating again having divorced the Antichrist. My delema is that I'm about to initiate two dates with two awesome girls. One of them is one of my X's best friends from way back. She doesn't talk to my X because of what she did to me among other things. She's been over every night because she just moved into our side of town. My roommate, her best friend from way back, and her have been talking about me. She really likes me, alot but she knows what I've been going through and is a little aprehensive of dating me so soon. But we're breaking through that and going out tonight, all four of us, with my roommates. She says if she gets a little drunk she'll probably stay with us for the night.... yeah. Then tomorrow, I'm going out with this girl I met online. We've been talking for a week now alot. She calls me the most and texts me constantly which is fun. We send pics back and forth (not expicit). Now I'm confused. I don't know if what I'm doing is wrong. If something happens tonight with the one girl, what am I supposed to do about tomorrow? The girl that hangs out with us every night is our good friend and knows my history and knows me pretty well. She's a total knockout and she's in the area. She seems like the better choice. What happens if I meet this girl tomorrow and I really like her too?
NuTuDating Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Go out with both. At this point, you haven't had the "exclusive" talk, have you? Maybe one girl dumps you (hopefully not) and then you haven't run off the other one by mistake. You're not doing anything wrong.
Author ARDriver01 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Posted March 14, 2008 Exclusive talk, what's that? Is that like "Hey, we've been seeing eachother for a while and I was thinking we should take it to the next level yadda yadda yadda"???
carhill Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Compartmentalize. Each day is unique. Each experience is unique. Be honest. Enjoy
blind_otter Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Exclusive talk, what's that? Is that like "Hey, we've been seeing eachother for a while and I was thinking we should take it to the next level yadda yadda yadda"??? Yeah, mostly. I try to avoid using the term "take it to the next level" that freaks people out sometimes. I just say I don't wanna date anyone else, do you? And if they agree, then you are exclusivo. See both of them. Play the field. Don't tie yourself down just yet. The world is your buffet.
Ronni_W Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 If something happens tonight with the one girl, what am I supposed to do about tomorrow? If you want to keep your life as simple as possible and keep all your options open past "tomorrow", then simply do not do anything tonight, that would interfere with that!
NuTuDating Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Exclusive talk, what's that? Is that like "Hey, we've been seeing eachother for a while and I was thinking we should take it to the next level yadda yadda yadda"??? I guess it is the next level... it's just agreeing that you don't want to see someone else. It's a mutual decision by two people dating not to date others. Until you've had that talk, date them all! Once you've had that talk, and then you continue to see other people, then you're just cheating.
Author ARDriver01 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 So, Friday night, we all went out to explore the local scene in our area. My roommates and our new laday friend. We all got pretty tossed. I took the group to the Rainbow in Hollywood and I got her a cosmo and some calamari. This is the new to the area now local friend that likes me alot. We went back to the our apartment and watched Natural Born Killers and she passed out. I tucked her in, and we simply went to bed. When she woke up in the morning, I guess she left pretty quick because she felt rude for passing out in my bed, that's what she told her girlfriend, my roommate. So, we're hanging out again a few times this week. I went out for coffee with the girl I met online. She had been a little gamey on the phone and with texting and whatnot, however, when we met, she was totally chill, very nice, interesting and very, very pretty. We texted for the rest of the night until both of us went to bed. So, I'm pretty excited about these two people. Either way I think I wont be alone for too long. What has to happen before you can say that you're seeing somebody?
nicki Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Sex? For me, that would be it. Once I slept with one of them or even just knew I would with one of them, then I would cut the other one loose very quickly. I know some people sleep with multiple people until they have the technical "exclusive" talk, but I consider someone a boyfriend and girlfriend if they are sleeping together.. Casual dating, for me, implies seeing multiple people for dating purposes, but not sleeping anyone. But, it's different for everyone. Just make sure you are honest with the women about what's going on with you. Congrats on your divorce!! Hey, have you heard the joke about why divorce is so expensive?.... Because it's worth it! Go have fun, but be honest.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Based on your other posts, AR, I don't think you're emotionally ready for another relationship. But that's JMO.
Kasan Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 Based on your other posts, AR, I don't think you're emotionally ready for another relationship. But that's JMO. Well, I wasn't going to be the one to bring it up but your thoughts echo mine precisely!
Author ARDriver01 Posted March 17, 2008 Author Posted March 17, 2008 Relationships are good for people. It helps one to live for something other than themselves. Besides, come on guys... This is distracting me from my other crap and it makes me happy and gives me hope. I haven't been this optimistic in a long time. A very long time. And trust me. We're talking about two girls. If one doesn't work the other might, and if they both don't work I think I'm stable enough to handle it. You guys may think otherwise, but I'm not Mental.
Author ARDriver01 Posted March 19, 2008 Author Posted March 19, 2008 So the girl from PofF.com and I went out again last night. I picked her up from her parents house. She's a struggling hair stylist. She was so pretty and so sweet. It was so old fashioned. I rang the door bell, she aswered and soon after, her mom came out and greeted me. She was very nice and told us two to have a great time. We went to Chili's, I orderd for her which she thought was old fashioned although I know she liked it. We drove around for a while. She asked me if I would think she was a party pooper if I took her home. I said no but... She said why, and I said, well I'm wondering if you'll call me again and she was shocked that I would feel that way. She put her hand on my arm and assured me that of course she would and that she has a great time when she's with me. I dropped her off and she gave me a huge hug and a step back, which means no kiss this time of course. On the drive home she texted me and said that she misses me already and we're still talking... a lot. So it went really well and I'm very excited but on the defense. My head is in the right place and I'm feeling really good for the first time in a long time. I'm also unofficially seeing the other girl that I met through my friends. She's been writting me on MySpace. She's the one that crashed out on my bed last friday. We're going to a carnival this Friday. Anyway, boring stuff I know but they're both very sweet and very, very pretty. I wanted to thank all of you for your steadfast support and time. You've all been very helpful to me. One Love.
Angels&Airwaves Posted March 19, 2008 Posted March 19, 2008 Based on your other posts, AR, I don't think you're emotionally ready for another relationship. But that's JMO. Why so? He has said he is fine and that these two girls are taking his mind off things, he might not be ready for a relationship with all the trimmings, but he is certainly ready to date. Though I sense a future triangle of love with the gentleman rooted in the middle, but that's in the forseeable future. I say, good luck to the gent. P.S Pass me the one you've discarded, I'm not having any luck lately.
Arbee83 Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 Man..I just gotta say it was crazy to read your old thread regarding the rage and wanting to kill your ex etc..and then to click your profile and find this thread. Complete opposites, initially feeling like you are at the bottom and now your juggling two potential girls. I think it is great, I am going through some stuff right now and it gave me goosebumps to read this. It tells me (even though I KNOW this) there is always hope and time will take care of it. But, when you are in such a mental fog and you can't focus on anything but the negatives you don't see what is out there. I am gonna quit rambling man but I seriously wish the best for you. To read and feel what you were going through initially and now you've got some positive back in your life makes ME feel good. Keep your head up and come back and re-read some of your stuff when you are feeling bad or just need a reminder of where you came from and how much you grow.
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