tug of war.

[ismellsogood]

So here's how the story goes:

 

It's been a year and half of this going on with this guy: First he liked me and made it clear (I had a boyfriend). Then I was single and asked him out (he had a girlfriend who he's since broken up with). The whole time he had a girlfriend after I asked him out though he got pretty mopey in classes and would look at me and then say "I hate life..." in a pensive way. Anyway...that was LAST semester.

 

For the last 2 weeks of last semester, he began to follow me around again, get in on my jokes, and I definitely found him checking me out/flirting with me.

 

Winter break comes.

 

The first day of this semester he's in a class with me. I go over and sit by him.

 

We have a fun, lively conversation like old times.

 

However, during the conversation his best friend (who hates me) is yelling out things like "shut that girl up" when I talk, and is screaming out things like "Dave still dates teenagers" and "Dave doesn't even want to be in this class, he has ulterior motives, Professor Jean" (which REALLY seemed like he meant Dave's interest in me) and "Dave didn't brush his teeth today."

 

Keep in mind we are all seniors in college.

 

The next class, I didn't sit by Dave because I felt disrespected by his friend, disrespected by him for not sticking up for me, and just plain embarassed to be around his friend and to be associated with that craziness.

 

Dave walks into class, dressed extra nice, hair gelled, sees me in a different place and says "Why aren't you sitting by us? You don't like us anymore?" So I reply "no, I'm just gonna sit here today. haha."

 

That whole class both boys were silent. We didn't talk at all.

 

Next class, Dave comes, and his friend isn't there. We didn't talk all class, but on the way out of class, he is giving me this frustrated look like "what's going on?" and let's out a heavy, heavy sigh and says goodbye.

 

I felt bad because honestly, he didn't realize why I had moved away from him in the first place.

 

I lost his phone number, and I was gonna call him after class, so I had to email him instead (on an email address we've communicated with) telling him I wanna set teh record straight because I don't like us having to play guessing games. He never got the email, and I know this BECAUSE...

 

Next class was Valentine's Day. He comes to class, and he takes out his cell phone and calls some girl and talks very loudly about going out after class with her (him talking in class at all, let alone very loudly is very out of character for him). I felt like this act was intended for my sake.

 

I go over to him after he gets off the phone, asks him if he ever got the email, and he says no...I have him open his account...there it is, unread. I say "well, just ignore it." Then I go sit away from him again. I told him to ignore it because I was embarassed that he would see it after he'd been out with some other girl. That was my attempt at saving face and showing I didn't care SO much.

 

Anyway, V-day passes, and I realize I still want to talk to him.

 

I go up to him in the beginning of classthat next week, ask to talk to him after class. He says OK, and actually suggests we talk right then and there. I say, "no, after class."

 

After class, he bolts. Nowhere to be found.

 

A few days later, I see him in the hallway in school, and he smiles at me and seems to follow me because he's walking after me, smiling. I walk into a classroom where I see a bunch of friends...he is gone. Of course I was not gonna wait and talk to him because he completely blew me off the other day.

 

The next day is class with him.

 

He completely avoids eye contact with me, is acting nervous (hiding his face from me behind computers). His friend comes to class, and all of a sudden he's acting lively again, like nothing has happened, but ignores me all class. ONe thing he did say very loud during class was he'd never vote for a woman, and I wondered if that was intended to show that he won't let a woman push him around (not that I've been trying to).

 

So right now this is where everything stands, and there's alot of animosity.

 

What does this situation look like to an outsider? I've been upset because he hasn't coem around. Does this just mean he wasn't very interested?

 

He knows I've pursued him several times. I've gotten no reciprocation.

 

This is a lost cause isn't it?

[carhill]

He was PMS'ing

 

Seriously, it's high school, right? No? College? Wow....

 

I think I'd set my sights on an older guy, maybe mid 20's, who is a bit more serious and mature. You know why I say that? Because you used words like "pensive" and "reciprocation", along with constructing paragraphs. You bring joy to my life

 

Seriously, I think it's time to move on....

[xpaperxcutx]

I think a better analogy to your situation would be playing tag. It's like going back and forth trying to catch each other. Do you ever get tired?

 

IF you hadn't said you were seniors in college, I would've never guessed being as he and his friend's behaviour almost prompted me to place them in middle school.

 

I don't think you should waste your time idling away worrying about his behaviour. You're busy enough as is without having to figure out the psycological intentions of the opposite sex.

 

Let him make the moves from now on. If he wants respect from you, he might first consider growing up a bit.

[Trialbyfire]

This is a game the two of you are playing? Who's the winner? Sounds like neither.

 

Let him chase you. If he doesn't, no great loss. College guys can be such headcases. I recall them well.

[irish1187]

Definitely sounds like hes playing games. A very immature one...

 

Seems to me that he doesn't want you to lose interest in him (by him saying "Why aren't you sitting by us", and smiling at you), but at the same time, hes not looking to get serious. He needs to grow up and stop playing these silly games.