rocks08 Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 I can't maintain NC *at all* at the moment since I have to see him face every single day at work. I'm doing well with the not calling or text messaging, but not talking at work is TORTURE and nigh impossible. phoenixgirl, how how how do you manage? I kinda slipped up at work, too... Gave MM a broad smile last week, and then, of course, ended up sharing how difficult NC was on G Chat (it's been a month)... There was a voice inside that kept asking me not to even chat, but i just couldn't help but share (I know I'm gonna get slaughtered for this one!) I did, however, tell him i didn't want him to message or stay in touch coz I was very clear I didn't want to cheat any more... he seemed to convey that he respected my decision and wouldn't message, but he still cared... he wanted to know why I was in "denial", and asked me to consider his feelings too... I've just got back from a trip with H, but couldn't resist picking up a small gift for MM... What should I do? Give it, or just keep it with me? I just can't get him out of my head, however much I try and distract myself, and end up in tears each time for all the good times we've shared... I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET OVER HIM... I've tried logic, reasoning, distractions, everything, but can't block him out of my head... I keep telling myself it's ok, a little smile or chat (or even words of encouragement, coz those of u who remember my earlier posts, he's going thru hell at work) won't pull me back, i'm strong enough to resist going back, but I'm scared of precisely that... Can't relate to H still, either, and can't seem to force myself to -- guess the heart's still with MM... where do i go from here?
Curmudgeon Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Can't relate to H still, either, and can't seem to force myself to -- guess the heart's still with MM... where do i go from here? The answer is fairly simple. Time to divorce your husband!
whichwayisup Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 You need to make a choice here and stick to it. -Divorce your husband and continue to the be the OW in your MM's life. Accept that you'll only get bits and pieces of him, not on your terms. -End affair with MM completely and go NC forever and focus on fixing your marriage. You can't continue lusting after the MM and stay in your marriage. Start by doing NC in your head. Don't think of the MM at all in the sense of buying him a gift. If you work with him, start looking for another job. If you don't stop, you WILL get caught. The choice is yours and if you want change in your life you have to just do it.
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