ilovemurf Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Hi, guys, I have a quick question. my date and i are going to his brother's wedding. so we went to the store to pick a wedding gift. i asked him if i needed to buy anything. he said no. so he got the gift and signed the card. i didn't feel very good because he didn't even ask me if i'd like to sign the card too. i understand guys don't pay attention to details. but sometimes it hurts. i try to tell myself that we only go out for 3 months. so it's no big deal. i was just wondering if it's normal for guys to do that.
malaclypse Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Hi, guys, I have a quick question. my date and i are going to his brother's wedding. so we went to the store to pick a wedding gift. i asked him if i needed to buy anything. he said no. so he got the gift and signed the card. i didn't feel very good because he didn't even ask me if i'd like to sign the card too. i understand guys don't pay attention to details. but sometimes it hurts. i try to tell myself that we only go out for 3 months. so it's no big deal. i was just wondering if it's normal for guys to do that. Well, if it hurts you when he doesn't pay attention to some details, just tell him. Tell him you'd like to sign the card too, or bring an own gift...Just because he thinks you don't have to doesn't mean you shouldn't. Communication is the key, as usual...
Author ilovemurf Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 i don't know how to bring it up. also i was asking you guys to see if it's common not to ask your date to sign the card. i'm afraid i was overreacting.
carhill Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Have you eaten a meal at his brother's house? Been formally introduced to your BF's family at one of their family events? If yes, protocol should indicate the gift(s) coming from both of you. If no, then my opinion is that there is no faux-paux; that said, your feelings in the matter are important, and I suggest you speak to your BF about it. Customs in your culture may differ, so such things are good for him to know. From the other side of the street (I'm a guy), I did not sign cards or buy gifts for my wife's family/friends while we were dating until I knew them beyond an informal introduction. Such indicated our transition from dating to BF/GF. I buy gifts and flowers for people I care about, so this is significant to me. YMMV.
malaclypse Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 i don't know how to bring it up. also i was asking you guys to see if it's common not to ask your date to sign the card. i'm afraid i was overreacting. I think you are overreacting, but this obviously means something to you, so again I can only advice you to talk to him about it. Good communication never hurt anyone... What are you afraid of?
Author ilovemurf Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 my ex used to complain about me overreacting. So i'm trying hard not to. i think i'll let it go. thanks
malaclypse Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 my ex used to complain about me overreacting. So i'm trying hard not to. i think i'll let it go. thanks Women... ...i still think you should talk to him about it. Not only because it obviously means something to you, but because I really think it's kind of a misunderstanding. If you just swallow little things like this, it will only lead to resentment. Seriously, what's so scary about talking to each other? If you're really interested in this guy, you will have to learn it sooner or later anyway...so why not make this sooner
Author ilovemurf Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 Seriously, what's so scary about talking to each other? If you're really interested in this guy, you will have to learn it sooner or later anyway...so why not make this sooner i don't know really what i'm afraid of. i guess we're not close enough to be frank to each other about everything. he hasn't even asked me to be his gf yet. i always have the problem of talking about my feelings to other people.
malaclypse Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 i always have the problem of talking about my feelings to other people. Most people do, but it gets easier after a few times. Anyway, best of luck with that guy, and have fun at the wedding!
Author ilovemurf Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 Most people do, but it gets easier after a few times. Anyway, best of luck with that guy, and have fun at the wedding! thank you so much!
City_girl Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 If his brother has seen you, spent time in your company, big red flag!! Be careful and make sure you know where the relationship is going
Author ilovemurf Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 If his brother has seen you, spent time in your company, big red flag!! Be careful and make sure you know where the relationship is going no, i have never met his brother. actually i'll see his family for the first time at the wedding.
City_girl Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Just my opinion but I think he did the appropriate thing then you are reading too much into it and to write your name on wouldn't seem right, I think it's a great sign that he's taking you to the wedding. He is showing you off to all and sundry as his woman, focus on that and shine but don't outshine the bride lol
AussieJack Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Hi, guys, I have a quick question. my date and i are going to his brother's wedding. so we went to the store to pick a wedding gift. i asked him if i needed to buy anything. he said no. so he got the gift and signed the card. i didn't feel very good because he didn't even ask me if i'd like to sign the card too. i understand guys don't pay attention to details. but sometimes it hurts. i try to tell myself that we only go out for 3 months. so it's no big deal. i was just wondering if it's normal for guys to do that. I think that if you have been included as a guest at his brother's wedding then it is VERY appropriate for you to sign the card. YOu need to SPEAK UP about this and NOT swallow it whole. IT is very likely that your guy is entirely NOT aware of protocol, or your feelings. Do it with love, but DO it..
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