MissingHer1986 Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Me and my g/f broke up yesterday because i told her i cheated. I cheated on her in the first few days of the relationship when she went out of town and it was a huge mistake. I had no idea what i would feel the way i feel about her now but i cant go back and change what ive done. She is pretty much disgusted with me for lieing to her fr 2 months and i dont blame her i know i was a dog for doing it but I felt guilty and did come out and tell her. I will do whatever it takes to get her back i could just use some advice on how to go about doing it. I talked to her yesterday for a while but it didnt seem like she was interested in every reconciling im hoping that was just the first day angers. Right now my plan is to sit back and let her cool down for a few days. Everyone has been telling her how much I care about her but she doesnt really wana here it right now. thnks in advance for any advice <The Idiot>
sketcher9015 Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 I don't know but if you find out tell me so i can get him back. It's been 1 and 1/2 years
sketcher9015 Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 I;'m sorry. just ran into another problem in our relationship this morning and i'm taking it out on you. I cheated. Once only once and I was drunk no excuse I know. it's been a long time and i m still working on making my guilt go away. trying to make him forget. trying to reafirm him thats he's the only one. he is you know. but the only once maybe can't be fixed. i don't know. i'm patient. i will keep trying until he kicks me to the curb. all you can do is try. but you are in for a long lonely road.
sketcher9015 Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 sorry noone posted you back. i'm a pretty sorry replacement for any psych. and i ragged on you right out of the gate. well hope springs eternal. atleast for me. how old are you? if she was out of town you must be that inbetween group 30 something. well i would have to have more info to help and i am in my own situation so i don't know if i'd be much help. I could give you a womans point of view. I know it's hell right now for you. i can't give much more
loveratud Posted March 16, 2008 Posted March 16, 2008 Well, you lacked the fortitude to be faithful and loyal. And then lacked the fortitude to live with your own mistakes, without spreading the pain onto your loved one. I wouldn't count on getting her back. She'll see it as you having lied every day between the cheating and when you told her.
serial muse Posted March 17, 2008 Posted March 17, 2008 (edited) Me and my g/f broke up yesterday because i told her i cheated. I cheated on her in the first few days of the relationship when she went out of town and it was a huge mistake. I had no idea what i would feel the way i feel about her now but i cant go back and change what ive done. She is pretty much disgusted with me for lieing to her fr 2 months and i dont blame her i know i was a dog for doing it but I felt guilty and did come out and tell her. I will do whatever it takes to get her back i could just use some advice on how to go about doing it. I talked to her yesterday for a while but it didnt seem like she was interested in every reconciling im hoping that was just the first day angers. Right now my plan is to sit back and let her cool down for a few days. Everyone has been telling her how much I care about her but she doesnt really wana here it right now. thnks in advance for any advice <The Idiot> Look, the question is why you did it. Can you actually answer that? Some answers that won't satisfy are: I was drunk I was stupid I don't know It was a dumb thing to do, I know, and I wish I hadn't I didn't feel about her then the way I do now; I'd never cheat on her now I don't know, please just tell me how to get her back I promise I'll never do it again None of those answer the question. WHY did you cheat? You're not going to be trustworthy until you can really give a good answer to that question. Because the fact is, if you don't know why you did it (or won't admit it to yourself) then you don't really know that you won't do it again, do you? And, therefore, neither can she. Try to figure it out without using one of the convenient "I don't really want to think about it" excuses above. Look, folks, you can't expect someone to just forgive you and trust you again unless you're willing to do the hard work and soul-searching, and figure out why you strayed. You just can't. Figure it out and become a whole person first. Edited March 17, 2008 by serial muse
Obama08 Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 Give up. You blew it. Try being honest next time.
wookinpanub Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Yup, your chance is over. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
KidEternity Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 Yeah man unless she is a bit of a doormat you can't really do anything, basically to boil it down your whole relationship you've been keeping a lie, and that is just not cool, you've gotta move on because I don't imagine she'd take you back, sorry. The best you can do is talk to her about it and be honest about it, and see where it goes, but don't expect anything!
twice_shy Posted March 20, 2008 Posted March 20, 2008 She is pretty much disgusted with me for lieing to her fr 2 months and i dont blame her i know i was a dog for doing it but I felt guilty and did come out and tell her. I will do whatever it takes to get her back i could just use some advice on how to go about doing it. Well I commend you for coming clean with her. But the damage is done. You cheated and there isn't a thing you can do that will remove the images in her head of you messing around with someone else. You are now probably, in her mind, just like the rest of the cheating jerks she has dated. I'd say if she is disgusted with you, that feeling isn't going to really change. I'd advise that you leave her alone. Really, there isn't anything you can do to really clean up her image of you. Ask yourself, if a girl cheated on you, do you really think you could look at her and not see "cheater" written all over her forehead from time to time? Or she might just take you back, and sometime if she is ever out with the girls and some guy pays her attention, she may feel entitled to act on it seeing as how you betrayed her first. Others have their opinions, but once cheating has taken place, the relationship will never be the same, and in my opinion, doomed in some way.
reliance Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 U betrayed her trust and for some people there is no going back. Some things are unforgivable. She maybe has to much respect for herself than to be with someone who lies and cheats on her. Just because you confessed to her doesn't make it any better. Sorry if that sounds harsh.
Taramere Posted March 23, 2008 Posted March 23, 2008 When you say you cheated "in the first few days of the relationship" what does that mean. Do you class the relationship as having started the moment you and she first met, first kissed, first had sex? I think it's pretty difficult to define the moment you start to feel "in a relationship" with someone. Maybe this is just me....but what I'd class as a relationship takes more than a few days to develop.
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