blind_otter Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 i've been seeing him about a month or so; he's really great we have a lot in common. and a ton of fun together. i'm trying to take it slow. and if i complain about something to my friends they remind me that i'm comparing him to my ex and to just stop it and enjoy him b/c most girls would be lucky to have such a good guy. my problem is he's fallen head over heels in love with me. he sees no flaws or anything that may be a hinderance or problem in the future or in a LTR. he's completely smitten. this has happened before with other men and each time it happens one day they wake up and hate me b/c i'm not who they made me out to be. it's not that i pretend ot be someone else, or lie about things, but they have this image they make me out to be. they ignore any red flags. i fear this stems from my ability to "read" other ppl and react to them as they need at that moment; do they need comfort/do they feel vulnerable/are they excited and want to share that/etc how am i supposed to handle this guy falling for me? Are you saying he's putting you on a pedastel, and you are afraid he has fallen for the "idea" of you in his own mind, rather than the reality of who you are? Some people do this and it can have negative consequences. On the one hand they might "wake up" one day and realize the reality of you is not the same as their magical, perfect "idea" of you - and then they get disappointed in the reality of you. OTOH, some people go wild with this and become obsessed with the idea of you, to the point where they cannot perceive the reality. IMO that is how stalkers are created. I'd say, voice your concerns that he is putting you on a pedatel. See how he responds. Any other opinions, LS folks?
NuTuDating Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Are you saying he's putting you on a pedastel, and you are afraid he has fallen for the "idea" of you in his own mind, rather than the reality of who you are? Some people do this and it can have negative consequences. On the one hand they might "wake up" one day and realize the reality of you is not the same as their magical, perfect "idea" of you - and then they get disappointed in the reality of you. OTOH, some people go wild with this and become obsessed with the idea of you, to the point where they cannot perceive the reality. IMO that is how stalkers are created. I'd say, voice your concerns that he is putting you on a pedatel. See how he responds. Any other opinions, LS folks? I think it's natural to develop a crush on someone, or to "fall" for someone. It's also natural for this to wear off. Enjoy it.
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