jmargel Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 I posted this over a week ago in the water cooler section, but figured my story might also be appropriate here as well. Maybe it might find a soft spot on you, and allow you to take a step back and give yourself some thoughts on the overall picture of your life. After reading this, I urge you hug and let your children and spouse know how much you love them. This happened to me two weeks ago. For all of you that are cheating, disrespecting or feel there are problems in your marriage. Please, I urge you to work with your spouse and get these issues resolved. Remember what made you fall in love with them and use that as a foundation. Don't take everyday for granted. Don't assume there will always be a tomorrow. Enjoy every possible moment you have. Show them as much love as you can. My daughter's Picture This was taken 2 days after she was born. 6 lbs, 2 oz. 17.5" long. Her name is Brianna Kristin. So far things are great. We were concerned because my wife had a chromosome issue with her first baby which died. Brianna has some fluid in her kidney but they are keeping a close eye on it and giving her medication. After delivery, unknown to us, my wife's uterus never contracted and she was internally bleeding. She lost 80% of her blood and by Thursday night I resigned myself to the fact that she would probably pass away. I never want anyone to experience watching their wife losing that much blood and the pain she was in. They had to do emergency surgery and after a hysterecomy, she is on her way to recovery. She's doing things slowly but feels and looks so much better. Last Thursday was one of those days that you will never forget, its a day where the true meaning of life defines itself in everyway possible. From the joy of seeing my little girl born that morning to praying to God and running out of tears that night because of possibily losing my wife. Wondering if this was the last moment I would spend with her after she had her surgery when they rushed me and the baby to the recovery room to spend time with her before she went into ICU. Our first picture of us three together was at that time, thinking it could also be our last. Never in a million years would I expect something like this to happen. It was a day that a story could be made about, however no amount of words could describe the emotions or the definition of what life is really about. Never take life for granted.. Never.. In ICU she only remembered parts of what happened Thursday and she was wondering why she was in so much pain and why everyone kept saying 'You gave us a scare'. They left it upto me to explain to her what happened. When they brought her up from her C-Section, we were all in her room and she was doing fine, when all of a sudden her blood pressure dropped to 50/30. They thought it might have been because of the morphine they gave her, but then 15 mins later again she did it again. A numbness came over me when that happened, there was no color in her, no color in her lips, fingernails.. They had a surgeon run up to start pulling blood clots out of her, the poor thing was awake and had to feel all of it, and they started rubbing her stomache hard to contract the uterus. They got it contracted, but lasted for about 2 hours when our nurse (who is an angel) noticed her uterus moved again and they rushed her to the OR. The one nurse told me, they measure the amount of blood loss by weighing the pads they use to soak up the blood, and before the surgery started all the pads weighed 13 pounds. I'm glad she doesn't remember all of it, and I still get brief flashbacks of it but they are fading.. I told her now is the time to concentrate on the future and on our little girl. They are also going to get her counseling for her first baby she lost 8 years ago, something she never really dealt with. She found out 5 months into that pregnancy the baby had Trisomy 18 and would not live. She kept it to full term, he was kicking and moving until her water broke. Trisomy 18 is a chromosome problem where 99% of the time the baby doesn't make it. I also give thanks to all the blood donors out there, I don't think they realize what sort of a life changing impact they all truly make.
Ladyjane14 Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Wow. Something like that really does put it all in perspective, doesn't it? I'm sorry to hear that your wife had to have a hysterectomy... but glad it saved her life. Congratulations to you both on your new baby girl. She's darlin'.
TechDude Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 After reading this, I urge you hug and let your children and spouse know how much you love them. Thanks for the wake up call. When you read some of the crazy stuff that goes on around here, you wonder how people can miss what really counts. After delivery, unknown to us, my wife's uterus never contracted and she was internally bleeding. She lost 80% of her blood and by Thursday night I resigned myself to the fact that she would probably pass away. I never want anyone to experience watching their wife losing that much blood and the pain she was in. During delivery of our youngest child, they had to switch to an emergency C-section at the last minute. In the process, my wife's uterus tore and she lost a lot of blood. Things were touch and go there for a while. Baby was fine. This in itself is was really special as my wife contracted rubella at about 2 months. We were given the option of terminating the pregnancy but chose not to (and, yes, we do know what we might have been letting ourselves in for). They are also going to get her counseling for her first baby she lost 8 years ago, something she never really dealt with. She found out 5 months into that pregnancy the baby had Trisomy 18 and would not live. She kept it to full term, he was kicking and moving until her water broke. Trisomy 18 is a chromosome problem where 99% of the time the baby doesn't make it.Even after all this time, it is important that she work though this. We lost our first child 22 years ago. It was a deletion in the 13th chromosome. We had no warning. She died shortly after birth. With almost no lungs, there was no way she would survive outside the womb. I don't believe my wife every really dealt with this loss and I'm sure it is one of many factors contributing to her depression today. I also give thanks to all the blood donors out there, I don't think they realize what sort of a life changing impact they all truly make.Hear, hear!!
Author jmargel Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 Sounds like you and I have quite a bit in common. Her first baby had an extra 18th chromosome. Perhaps you might contact some hospitals in your area, talk to the OB/GYN, they have 'fetal loss' programs where they will help people who lost a baby, even years after. It's a group of people who get together and do things together to help remember their loved one. My wife was depressed even before her pregnancy and her losing her first one was one of the main factors, it's just she didn't know how to deal with it. I'm hoping this will help her when she starts in this program. I'm sorry about your first loss, but happy to hear you have a healthy baby now. We don't give our wives enough credit for going through something like pregnancy. Most people assume that everything will always be fine. I could only imagine what it was like 100 years ago. I hope your wife can find someone she can talk to and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
Lookingforward Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 but so glad that everything has turned out as it has. You still have each other and a beautiful new baby. This makes a lot of the "problems" on here seem very very minor by comparison.
Mr. Lucky Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Wow, reading your story brings back a lot of memories for me. My wife had undiagnosed toxemia and one morning began have eclamptic seizures. I had forgotten my necktie running out the door for work and had I not gone back upstairs to get it (do these things happen for a reason???), she could have easily stroked out and died. Emergency C-section, 10-week preemie son born with Apgars of "0" and my wife was in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks. And yet somehow we all survived. And thrived. Like you, I try and remember those times whenever I now think I have a "big" problem. We shouldn't sweat the small stuff and since then, it's all been small... Mr. Lucky PS - I forgot to add that Dad almost had a heart attack when, taking our son home after 5 months in the Neonatal ICU, they gave me a bill for $1,400,000!!!
tanbark813 Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Damn. Glad to hear everything worked out okay in the end.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 J= congratulations on the birth of your beautiful new baby girl! She is lovely! I'm sorry to hear about your wife's problems. I had a friend that experienced the same thing- and it was quite scary. I'm glad that this has given you perspective in everything going on in your life. We are not promised tomorrow, despite the fact that we live like we are. God Bless you and your new little family- and I hope everyone recovers quickly!
whichwayisup Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 JM, what a rollercoaster ride for you! I am glad your wife is okay now..
ProudMommy Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through such a scary experience! How wonderful that both your wife and daughter are okay now. Your new baby girl is beautiuful, congratulations on her. ~*~*~Health & Healing Vibes~*~*~*~
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