MalachiX Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 My GF and I broke up a little over a month ago. It stemmed from being in a long distance relationship and the fact that I was in a deep depression and had no idea where my life was going. She broke up with me but then called me back three days later and seemed ready to try to reconcile. I, because I was still so depressed and convinced no one should waste their time on me, essentially talked her out of taking me back (which infuriated her). She called again the next night, making it sound like she was doing so because she was worried about me and refusing to perhaps suggest that she might still love me as well. That conversation ended pretty terribly as well and I thought it would be the last we'd ever speak. Then, the next day she started calling again almost as though the whole thing had never happened. She didn't say "I love you" anymore but she still spoke about silly relationship stuff and still wanted to talk to me before she went to bed. She made a big deal about wishing me a happy birthday and was really sweet. When her birthday rolled around two weeks later, I also wanted to try to make a big deal and send her a video-birthday card. I didn't know if I was trying to win her back or just wanted to show I cared about her but it was very important. However, she never answered my calls on her birthday or even indicated she got the card. Since then, we've had pretty much no contact for the past three weeks. She's never answered any phone calls and has only answered one of my e-mails in which I asked where she's been by saying she's had to cover for another grad student and is real busy. Clearly there's more going on with that but I'm curious what other people's takes on this are. It's frustrating that she was the one who broke no contact the first several times (she'd insisted when we broke up) and then, just as I'm comfortable calling her again, decides to complete cut me off. More than anything though, it drives me nuts that she was very sweet to me on my birthday but then wouldn't let me show her the same kind of affection on hers. Thoughts?
Ocean-Blue Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 She might be confused with what's going. Perhaps she was so busy trying to get through to you that she forget how she feels. Now that she's had some distance, she might be thinking about herself and what she wants. You obviously want to know what's up and where you two stand. Seeing as how the breakup was blurry (did you really break up? maybe you didn't...maybe the repeated contact was some kind of a reconciliation), I'd try to email her asking her what's up. Tell her you just want to know so you can respect her wishes for NC. She'll either respond (and you can take it from there) or she'll ignore it. If it's the latter, you really have no choice but to maintain NC and try to move on. Focus on yourself and try to deal with your self-esteem. You are worthy of being loved. Do not doubt that. Work on that first. You are your first priority.
Author MalachiX Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 She might be confused with what's going. Perhaps she was so busy trying to get through to you that she forget how she feels. Now that she's had some distance, she might be thinking about herself and what she wants. You obviously want to know what's up and where you two stand. Seeing as how the breakup was blurry (did you really break up? maybe you didn't...maybe the repeated contact was some kind of a reconciliation), I'd try to email her asking her what's up. Tell her you just want to know so you can respect her wishes for NC. She'll either respond (and you can take it from there) or she'll ignore it. If it's the latter, you really have no choice but to maintain NC and try to move on. Focus on yourself and try to deal with your self-esteem. You are worthy of being loved. Do not doubt that. Work on that first. You are your first priority. Thanks. I've been wanting to write her a long e-mail explaining my feelings for a while but she always hated how long winded I was (she used to feel that words were my way of avoiding emotions) and I'm still not sure how I feel. I know I'm doing much better than I was when she dumped me (as I said I was in a deep depression both before and after) but I'm still working on where my life is going and what it's going to take for me to be happy with myself. Anyway, I really appreciate the advice; even if it comes from someone who has an avatar of a dude who chopped off his ear over a hooker.
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