NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Alrighty.... I've been dating a girl for about a month now. She's awesome. We both live in a pretty small town - her town being about 10 miles away and smaller than the town I live in. Last night she called, and I had fallen asleep while reading. Today I get an e-mail saying that she had a bad evening last night and wanted to talk. I called her today. Last night she was running errands and her ex-boyfriend confronted her, apologized for being an ass, etc. She basically told him that she was happy with me and that they were done. Her daughter had told him that she was dating me. He started ranting and raving about this and then started hitting her. He busted her lip and gave her a black eye, bruised a rib, hurt her arm, punched her, etc. Basically beat the crap out of her. He's apparently a big guy and she weighs maybe 102 soaking wet. She told me all of this tonight. She's pressing charges and he's been arrested on felony charges (she tried to call 911 and he wouldn't let her, apparently that's a no-no). Hopefully this ass stays in jail (he was arrested today) and loses his company. What am I supposed to do? I feel like whipping the everloving **** out of him (I don't care how big he is), but I'm a professional and also am not going to jail, so that's not really an option. And she is so NOT the trashy type, so this is not a reflection on her except she made a bad choice in dating him in the past. I basically listened to her and told her I was sorry she had a bad evening. I reassured her that no matter what, I would never lay a hand on her or her daughter, even if she were to hit me first. I just don't ever, ever, hit a woman. I also told her I'd still take her out or see her this weekend even if she had a black eye (she was worried about this). But I kind of feel like my response was inadequate. I'd like to shove my size 11 boot up his ass sideways (being from TX and all). But that's just more trouble than it's worth, legally speaking. Any suggestions?
Citizen Erased Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 You are far better off staying out of it. Obviously be there for her, she has been through so much and likely will welcome the support, but displaying you are capable of such violence is a huge no-no at the moment. It's sweet you want to defend her and everything, but you are worth far more to her out of jail then you are in there
Author NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 Yep, kind of my gut reaction, too. He's about 10 years older than me, so I'm pretty confident I could take him down to China Town... Hopefully someone will make him a bunkmuffin while he's in custody. Hitting a 100 lb woman. What a sack of ****.
Tyra Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 What you basically was saying to her was fine. Going to jail isn't worth it at all. So I wouldn't get involved in it. Just continue to condole her and stick by her through all of this.
Author NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 Thanks. I was pretty sure I was saying the right thing... just wanted to vent. I'm pretty pissed right now. This is all too common in small towns. Grrr!!!!
dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Nothing bothers me more then a man doing that to a woman. I've been in her shoes - it's not easy to deal with. The best thing you can do is be supportive of her through the process of dealing with that ****. I understand the urge to beat that loser's a@@ but it wont do any good. I wish the both of you the best!
eDave Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Take care of her, not him. Though I totally know how you feel. So does she and REALLY appreciates it.
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