finally told MM I'm pregnant...

March 17, 2008

His wife new very well before trying for a baby that there was another woman in the picture. She often asked who Gwyneth is, and she has called me before. So, she isn't so clueless. I think she gave up because she wants a child with him and would rather not know. But I don't know because I don't know her. But I do know that she knew I was in the picture. So it was her decision to have a baby knowing her husband is unfaithful. Still doesn't make what he and I did right, but there aren't many surprises here. She even went as far as changing his phone number on his mobile.

And your point is? look I'm not trying to get at you but the fact is wither or not the wife knew is irrelevant.

The MM destroyed finished put the final nail in the coffin how ever you care to word it to the marriage back when he started the affair period!

The wife sounds like a very desperate women and thats sad I still feel for her and her kids in the situation.

March 17, 2008

Well I ruled out the BCP years ago as they were not agreeing with me well at all, and I haven't been having consistent sex so any of those other methods weren't available for me, and are off limits. I don't like inserting anything up into my V--I can't even wear a tampon. So those other things are off limits as well.

I know you may not read this, but just FYI for after you deliver - there are a lot of BC options out there. My SO's mom is a midwife so I hear about it all the time.

You could try the patch, or the shot. Neither of those are invasive. A lot of moms go for an IUD after they have a baby, too.

AS for not living things in your V - well I'm pretty sure you'll get over that phobia during your pregnancy. People are all up in your business when you're pregnant. Especially during delivery.

March 17, 2008

Agree. See where the current takes you with this parental issue and get yourself some legal counsel if things dont get ironed out on their own.
IF you dont list the name of the father on the birth certificate (which you dont have to) you CAN'T go after child support!!! Not sure what your case is in regards to how supportive your relatives can be and all that... but remember, you are bringing a person into this world that does have 2 parents and deserves the right to know who the other person that created him/her is. Decisions that you make today, will have long lasting effect in your childs life. Some can be emotional, economical, etc...
This situation already started on a sour note- be fair and wise. 2 wrongs dont make a right.

Well I believe he has to be there when the BC is prepared in order to be listed. So that will be the first thing that will have to take place.

Also, even if he isn't on the BC, I am pretty certain he can be added onto it after a parternity test.

I am really hoping not to have a complicated situation more than it already is. He is making his decisions--the ball is in his court now. He has 8 months or so to figure this out.

March 17, 2008

I don't agree with A one bit and I think she is just trying to rally people up around here as evdient to her vulgar thoughts, opinions, and comments. She acts like an abortion is only a ten minute procedure--well yes, it may be, but what about the emotional process afterward? Obviously she's never had an abortion and suffered the consequences afterward. Up until this pregnancy I was still very angry with myself for having to had gone through the abortion several years ago. My OB said that I was lucky to even had gotten pregnant this time around because of a post-abortion issue I had. I know some women whom had trouble ever getting pregnant again after they had an abortion. It's not a safe procedure and it's extremely emotinal. And the fact that you, A, give that to me or even anyone in my position, as one of the three options, is quite selfish. You have no idea what you are talking about. You are very naive and uneducated.

I had a feeling that you had gone through that experience and perhaps this pregnancy could be a stroke of luck. I have a 7 yr old that I am lucky to have after going through an abortion at 19 and having a miscarriage when I first got married. In order for my son to be full-term I was put on bedrest for 5 months! yikes! that was horrible!! I've had cervical surgery few yrs before getting pregnant and chances were low... so I feel your pain and this could be the sole reason for you being in this situation- too bad that it is with an Ahole that is married!!

It is a hard to process the thought of maybe not being able to have a child.

Take care of your pregnancy because you never know what tomorrow brings. You can only live today, even with yesterdays consequences.

G*d bless!

March 17, 2008

I
AS for not living things in your V - well I'm pretty sure you'll get over that phobia during your pregnancy. People are all up in your business when you're pregnant. Especially during delivery.

Ain't that the truth. By the time I had mine, I felt like my doctors recognized me, but not by my face.

March 17, 2008

I was just thinking about how you say you wont allow him to be a part of their lives if he chooses to not pay the support.

While I think he should have to of course do you relay think completely cutting him out of their lives would be a good other option?

Thats if he dose indeed want to even be a part of it which it sounds he dose? That just seams a bit extreme to me dont you think?

March 17, 2008

Well I believe he has to be there when the BC is prepared in order to be listed. So that will be the first thing that will have to take place.

Also, even if he isn't on the BC, I am pretty certain he can be added onto it after a parternity test.

I am really hoping not to have a complicated situation more than it already is. He is making his decisions--the ball is in his court now. He has 8 months or so to figure this out.

Here is an FYI... lawforkids.org!

In the state of NY- if you are not married you can list the name of the father at the hospital, then he has a time frame to go to city hall and sign the record. I have few friends that had to go through this.

[COLOR=green]36-334.[/COLOR] [COLOR=purple]Determining maternity and paternity for birth certificates[/COLOR]

A. A person completing a birth certificate shall state the name of the woman who gave birth to the child on the birth certificate as the child's mother unless otherwise provided by law or court order.

B. The state registrar shall not refuse to register a birth certificate because the birth certificate does not include the name of the father.

C. If a father's name is stated on a birth certificate, the father's name shall be stated on a birth certificate as follows:

1. Except as provided in section 25-814, if the mother is married at the time of birth or was married at any time in the ten months before the birth, the name of the mother's husband.

2. If a mother and father who are not married to each other at the time of birth and were not married to each other in the ten months before the birth voluntarily acknowledge paternity pursuant to section 25-812, the name of the father acknowledging paternity.

3. If the state registrar receives an administrative order or a court order establishing paternity, the father's name in the order.

D. If the acknowledgement of paternity is rescinded pursuant to section 25-812, the state registrar shall remove the father's name from the registered birth certificate

March 17, 2008

And your point is? look I'm not trying to get at you but the fact is wither or not the wife knew is irrelevant.

The MM destroyed finished put the final nail in the coffin how ever you care to word it to the marriage back when he started the affair period!

The wife sounds like a very desperate women and thats sad I still feel for her and her kids in the situation.

My point is, personally if I knew or thought / suspected my husband was cheating on me, I don't think now would be the time to try for a baby. She tried for a baby and "According" to him, their pregnancy was her plan, not his (). I am not at all justifying my situation, but as an outsider, I am having a hard time understanding why a wife would want to have a baby when she suspects he's cheating on her? Marital problems? I thought maybe she thought a baby would fix their problems, but I'm not so sure about that. Again, I don't know Her side of the story and I am asking these questions as an outsider. I also asked him why she would try to get pregnant knowing there's an affair happening outside the marriage. One of his lame replies was "this was her plan, not mine..."

I don't think I'd understand any woman who would try for a baby knowing her husband is or is possibly cheating on her. Sister, friend, cousin, aunt...any woman.

My other point is that he put himself in this mess, then I did.

March 17, 2008

My other point is that he put himself in this mess, then I did.

I disagree there you both put yourselves in this mess not just one.

I've been a good deal on your side thu this thread but its not fair to play the blame game now.

It wasn't just him and it wasn't just you it was you BOTH.

March 17, 2008

I had a feeling that you had gone through that experience and perhaps this pregnancy could be a stroke of luck. I have a 7 yr old that I am lucky to have after going through an abortion at 19 and having a miscarriage when I first got married. In order for my son to be full-term I was put on bedrest for 5 months! yikes! that was horrible!! I've had cervical surgery few yrs before getting pregnant and chances were low... so I feel your pain and this could be the sole reason for you being in this situation- too bad that it is with an Ahole that is married!!
It is a hard to process the thought of maybe not being able to have a child.
Take care of your pregnancy because you never know what tomorrow brings. You can only live today, even with yesterdays consequences.
G*d bless!

Thank you

March 17, 2008

See my previous answers. BCP is no longer an option for me; unfortunately my body reacts badly to BCP. And I am not comfortable sticking things into my vagina--including tampons and fingers.

GOt it....and when I posted I had seen where you had posted...they crossed is my guess or were posted around the same time.

March 17, 2008

I disagree there you both put yourselves in this mess not just one.

I've been a good deal on your side thu this thread but its not fair to play the blame game now.

It wasn't just him and it wasn't just you it was you BOTH.

That's what I mean I said, "then I."

He put himself into this mess first by pursuing me while he's married. I then came into this mess by accepting his offers of entering into an affair.

JackJack,

I figured as much

March 17, 2008

I don't think I'd understand any woman who would try for a baby knowing her husband is or is possibly cheating on her. Sister, friend, cousin, aunt...any woman.

Ad with all due respect sister Gwyn.... the poor lady is just MARRIED to the dude. You know... marriages, goes along with families and stuff like that(sarcasm)

I would have to reply to you with a : I dont understand why any women who is with a MM would put herself in the position (literately ) of possibly making a baby...

Sorry, I just had to let you have it there! LOL!

Dont bash the lady. She was the ONLY person in this situation to have that priviledge with her husband... at the end of the day he may have cheated but he cheated with you- the ultimate cause of what may end their marriage.

March 17, 2008

I don't think I'd understand any woman who would try for a baby knowing her husband is or is possibly cheating on her. Sister, friend, cousin, aunt...any woman.

~Well, I'll take a stab at it. Its possible that even though a wife may know, in their mind they feel a baby might be a last resort in hopes of possibly hanging onto something they know is probably already over. The sad part is, rarely does a baby, or another baby keep a person from not cheating anymore, or makes the person try to help fix the marriage. Sure it can, and it might in some cases, but I would think, not alot.

I'm not saying its right for a wife to get pregnant in hope's to save her marriage from a cheating partner, or even one that is not cheating, but possibly still having marital issues. But you never truly know WHY people do what they do.

March 17, 2008

His wife new very well before trying for a baby that there was another woman in the picture. She often asked who Gwyneth is, and she has called me before. So, she isn't so clueless. I think she gave up because she wants a child with him and would rather not know. But I don't know because I don't know her. But I do know that she knew I was in the picture. So it was her decision to have a baby knowing her husband is unfaithful. Still doesn't make what he and I did right, but there aren't many surprises here. She even went as far as changing his phone number on his mobile.

Gwyn, it was their decision to have a baby. They are married and sleep together every night. You can't blame this woman for doing what is natural with her husband, and that includes having a family.

March 17, 2008

Right, and I didn't say I am right for what happened, granted this wasn't planned on my end, but to create a baby in a marriage that is not strong, I just don't understand that--and that goes for any couple who purposely plan for a baby when having marital problems.

Sure, it was their decision to have a baby, and that's not even my point. My point is, I don't understand why a woman would want to have a baby with a husband who she knows or suspects is cheating on her.

March 17, 2008

My point is, personally if I knew or thought / suspected my husband was cheating on me, I don't think now would be the time to try for a baby. She tried for a baby and "According" to him, their pregnancy was her plan, not his

Don't you see that he's lying again? Don't you think he's told her lies about you and your affair with him? She obviously has believed that you are/were OUT of the picture completely. And you know it's bullcrap that she was trying for this baby on her own. Hello, he has the penis that helps provide the makings of a baby...He's playing you both like fools and giving you each different information.

This why is I think she would be ABSOLUTELY shocked and devastated when the truth comes out about your baby(ies)...He has made it seem like his marriage was a sham and awful...My guess is, he's your typical cake eater and his marriage isn't half as bad as he's made it seem to you.

March 17, 2008

Yes.

And the W should not be affected by this.

G knew the guy had a family, and I don't see she has any right to impose a financial responsibility on the guy that she knew was married in the first place, and had his own children to support.

This hit me hard. This theme of how its not the man's job to be responisble for a child if he doesn't want one. This concept is just stunning. Especially in regards to a married man who is having an affair.

Okay. So yes. Gwyn had sex. She apparently had unprotected sex. From what I can infer, she is single, of age and wasn't impaired. Guilty of bad judgement for the no protection.

And Gwyn's MM had sex. Apparently, again, unprotected sex. Yet, from what I can tell, IS married, IS in a commited relationship that is producing children. And yet, he isn't at fault? Isn't responsible? He is also guilty of bad judgement. But not just for the lack of protection.

Why? He is the only one in this situation that is legally and morally connected to another person. Is Gwyn crappy for sleeping with a married man? Absoultly. But HE is the one who put his W in the situation she is in.

If you have sex you are 100% responsible for any outcome. Including STDs and babies. He decided that he "wanted" children the MOMENT he had sex with Gwyn. From 5th grade on, anyone who has sex is aware that the outcome of sex is children. Thats why they have that class in school.

So if you have sex, you KNOW it can and does create a child. So the guy finds out the girl is pregnant. She decides for whatever reason she is having that baby. Now he shouldn't be responsible? Because he doesn't want a kid? Wrong. He knew the moment he had sex with her he could create life. If he didn't want to be responsible for that life, then he should have made the decision to not have sex. Period.

March 17, 2008

Sure, it was their decision to have a baby, and that's not even my point. My point is, I don't understand why a woman would want to have a baby with a husband who she knows or suspects is cheating on her.

~I gave a reason earlier. I'm not saying its like that for ALL situations, because obviously its not. However I do think that can be the case sometimes for why women want to have kids with a cheating spouse. There are proably tons of reasons WHY.

Some people will probably never understand WHY someone would want to cheat, just as others would probably never understand WHY someone would want to have a child with a cheating partner.

March 17, 2008

But sadly he did. I don't see why the OP's CHOICE (which of course she is free to exercise) has to destroy the lives of innocent people. It's bad enough that the child (-ren) born from this liason will be without a real father, why should the others suffer as well?

Th OP knew the man was married. She should have made wiser decisions. I think the burden of responsibilty falls on her shoulders since she may have conceived the baby with the MM (obviously) but the decision to keep it is single-handedly hers.

I agree- I think if I was in this situation I would keep the baby, but I would have to think long and hard about whether I really wanted the father to be involved or not.

I don't like inserting anything up into my V--I can't even wear a tampon. So those other things are off limits as well.

Does nobody else see the irony in this statement? :lmao::lmao:

Come on people!

March 17, 2008

Right, and I didn't say I am right for what happened, granted this wasn't planned on my end, but to create a baby in a marriage that is not strong, I just don't understand that--and that goes for any couple who purposely plan for a baby when having marital problems.

Sure, it was their decision to have a baby, and that's not even my point. My point is, I don't understand why a woman would want to have a baby with a husband who she knows or suspects is cheating on her.

Are you sure they were actually having problems that she knew of?

It's a deceptive man, are you sure he wasn't just telling you that they were having problems?

March 17, 2008

Right, and I didn't say I am right for what happened, granted this wasn't planned on my end, but to create a baby in a marriage that is not strong, I just don't understand that--and that goes for any couple who purposely plan for a baby when having marital problems.

Sure, it was their decision to have a baby, and that's not even my point. My point is, I don't understand why a woman would want to have a baby with a husband who she knows or suspects is cheating on her.

Why do you want to have a baby with someone that YOU know that cheats on his wife and someone that may or may not be there for you and your child?

Too controversial- for you to make a point out of it.

You dont have to "understand" her position... there is nothing to "understand" there... At the end of the day you really dont know if what he was telling you about their marriage was all true. Obviously there was trouble in paradise, since he cheated but that is not always the case. Some men are just grimey like that and never get enough... as some here will call it- they are "Cake eaters".

Dont judge her actions... because she doesn't owe ANYONE and explanation on why she is starting a family with the person she married.

March 17, 2008

Good points Mimi- the W owes nobody an explanation.

March 17, 2008

Don't you see that he's lying again? Don't you think he's told her lies about you and your affair with him? She obviously has believed that you are/were OUT of the picture completely. And you know it's bullcrap that she was trying for this baby on her own. Hello, he has the penis that helps provide the makings of a baby...He's playing you both like fools and giving you each different information.

This why is I think she would be ABSOLUTELY shocked and devastated when the truth comes out about your baby(ies)...He has made it seem like his marriage was a sham and awful...My guess is, he's your typical cake eater and his marriage isn't half as bad as he's made it seem to you.

Yes I know he's lying, that's why I said "according."

I have also said that apparently He wasn't there when the baby was made or she was trying...as sarcasm.

March 17, 2008

Are you sure they were actually having problems that she knew of?

It's a deceptive man, are you sure he wasn't just telling you that they were having problems?

Well I do always say "according to him," so I guess that means I don't know for sure. But she did call me five times to breath in my ear, and I heard her say something but couldn't make it out. And she did change his phone number that very night.

***Does nobody else see the irony in this statement? :lmao::lmao:

Come on people! ***

What are you implying?

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finally told MM I'm pregnant...

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