finally told MM I'm pregnant...

[Mino]

pretty sad and rude to talk about Gwen as if she is not in the room...... We come here for support, I think she is a pretty amazing woman, Gwen , I wish you strength. I have no doubt in my my that you will be fine. I am a single mom too, and I never recieved a penny child support. Never wanted it. My daughter is almost finished with her univeristy. no free ride here, I payed every penny of it. And you know what, my daughter knows I am by her side all the way. by the way, she has an excellent R with her father, and so do I, we are still friends after 30 years!

[Mino]

Oh, come on.

 

Either she wanted to get money out of him, or to ruin him financially out of spite. And to spite the wife with a preganancy.

 

And now she wants to demand the guy to tell the wife: Dear, there is something I need to tell you... There is another woman in my life. It is an emotional and physical affair, we have been having sex for 5 months. And now, she and I are expecting a baby!

 

Or something horrible along those lines.

 

I don't believe for a second that this was an accident.

 

And now she comes with the famous phrase of all times: That's the risk he took and these are the consequences he's paying.

That is pretty harsh to acuse someone of setting up lover. Have ya ever thought that just maybe a woman may want to be a mother, but has no desire to have a traditional "family" Give me a break, you sound like a very bitter BS,

[melodymatters]

pretty sad and rude to talk about Gwen as if she is not in the room...... We come here for support, I think she is a pretty amazing woman, Gwen , I wish you strength. I have no doubt in my my that you will be fine. I am a single mom too, and I never recieved a penny child support. Never wanted it. My daughter is almost finished with her univeristy. no free ride here, I payed every penny of it. And you know what, my daughter knows I am by her side all the way. by the way, she has an excellent R with her father, and so do I, we are still friends after 30 years!

 

 

Welllllll....... after being on this site for awhile, one DOES start getting a good nose for stories ( and their tellers) that sound...off. Too much happens in too short a time, and it's always HIGHLY dramatic, and doesn't mesh with some of the other details.

 

There was a woman baby bella who had similar stories and at the end " thanked" us all for helping her write her " novel"

 

For one, I didn't believe when " Gwens sister" posted, I don't believe the guy was in the hospital, and .....twins ...Nah. Otherwise there probably are shreds of truth here.

[Ariadne]

Welllllll....... after being on this site for awhile, one DOES start getting a good nose for stories ( and their tellers) that sound...off.

 

Not only the story keeps changing..

 

Her opinion and positions also change with the wind.

[Ariadne]

Give me a break, you sound like a very bitter BS

 

Nope.

 

Never been a BS yet. But I have been an OW for about a year.

[phoenixgirl]

Gwyn, I haven't read all the replies on this thread - sorry - I just wanted you to know that I hear ya and support, and wish you the best of luck to you and the babies. Keep us posted.

[LOVE DAISIES]

Well, we can all speculate all we want. Until it's PROVEN that Gwyn is a "troll" shouldn't she be receiving support rather than criticism??

ANY of us could be "trolls"...but no one is accusing any of us of it.

I guess I am of the mindset that you are innocent until proven guilty.

 

Gwyn has said she is legitimate...that should be enough.

Besides there is NO way one can PROVE their stories, regardless

if you believe them or not.

 

Anyway...good luck Gwyn...

[phoenixgirl]

I agree with Love Daisies - we all know that the internet is a public forum and as such, I doubt very much that most of us come on here and tell our whole story detail for detail from the outset (I know I didn't/haven't, and don't plan to). We also come to a forum like this with a certain level of trust, regardless of the knowledge that it's a public forum and regardless of the fact that we don't share every iota of our personal stories.

 

So I think that at the very least, we can show each other some respect. Assuming someone is a troll or lying just because we don't know their whole story or because we think some elements of it change is unfair.

[SoxPrincess]

I've been following your story for awhile now Gwyn and just wanted to stop in and wish you the best of luck in whatever road you choose.

 

I'd really hate to see this thread closed (like SO many others have been) for petty bickering and accusations because in the end, we're all here for support and until it's proven otherwise (which I doubt it can anyway) I choose to believe and support Gwyn when she needs it.

[Gwyneth]

Thanks again to those who are supportive. I have to laugh at the few who make false accusations abt me--as if they're living such innocent lives. I'm not here to find people to believe in me, but rather support and different versions of situations.

 

And for the record, I did sleep with him more than once--but it only takes one time to get preg.

 

I have realized over time that there are peoplr who still live in the dark ages and want to blame pregnancy on the woman--funny cuz I thought it takes two to make a baby.

 

My opinions are allowed to change--as a matter of fact, mine change often because I have a Very hard time making up my mind. That's a disability I have.

 

No, this wasn't planned. I cannot say it was my dream to get preg by a married man. And it was from this board that I realized I have to ask him for child support--but that's my choice, not anyone elses to criticize me over.

 

As for MM--i told him he will either be or not be a part of their lived and if he isn't, I won't expect child support from him. I will however if he remains a part of their life.

 

I actually had a long talk with him today and he gave me his thoughts, but after seeing many of the brutal attacks in here, I am choosong to no longer discuss my pregnancy with MM. At least not in this room. Its really cold in here, and there are just too many bitter and dark+iaged people in here.

[OWoman]

I actually had a long talk with him today and he gave me his thoughts, but after seeing many of the brutal attacks in here, I am choosong to no longer discuss my pregnancy with MM. At least not in this room. Its really cold in here, and there are just too many bitter and dark+iaged people in here.

 

Gwyn - look after yourself and your child/ren. You owe no one here anything. Use what you get here for the good, and walk away from the bad. Those who don't get it, well, there loss. It's not your duty to fill in the gaps for them.

 

We're all sometimes oblique about what we post - there are some nutcases out there and it's just good practice not to divulge tmi. Don't get drawn into providing tmi because someone may feel it doesn't add up FOR THEM. You owe no explanations. Just look out for yourself, and your baby/ies.

 

(((hugs)))

[Gwyneth]

Gwyn - look after yourself and your child/ren. You owe no one here anything. Use what you get here for the good, and walk away from the bad. Those who don't get it, well, there loss. It's not your duty to fill in the gaps for them.

 

We're all sometimes oblique about what we post - there are some nutcases out there and it's just good practice not to divulge tmi. Don't get drawn into providing tmi because someone may feel it doesn't add up FOR THEM. You owe no explanations. Just look out for yourself, and your baby/ies.

 

(((hugs)))

 

Thank you, OWoman. Yeah, I try not to give TMI and maybe that's why my stories seem like just that--stories. But like I said, I really don't need to prove myself to anyone on here. I have learned a great deal of stuff on here (very useful might I add), and I also enjoy helping others. My views have certainly changed because of the feedback I get. It may look at times that I don't agree, but then I do really think about some of the things that are said and work with those views. So, for that I am most grateful

[Gwyneth]

And for the record, I didn't Purposely get pregnant for money. I don't need money...that's the lamest suggestion I seen heard thus far. I am not out to ruin him. Why would I give him options if I was out to ruin him?

 

And you're wrong, American woman. It takes two to make sure there is no pregnancy--not just the woman. That is a Very sexist remark.

[whichwayisup]

And you're wrong, American woman. It takes two to make sure there is no pregnancy--not just the woman. That is a Very sexist remark.

 

I agree with this, but for a woman, it really is up to her to protect herself from getting pregnant. A man can walk away, a man doesn't have to go through the pregnancy...In a perfert world a guy would be JUST as responsible as a woman when it comes to protection, but unfortunately, that isn't the case sometimes. If a man told me "I'm on the Man Pill, don't worry, you won't get pregnant!" There is NO way I'd trust completely, I just wouldn't take the chance of putting myself at risk.

[Gwyneth]

Right. And that is why we used a condom--until it miraculously slipped off. And he and I discussed that time and what happened to the condom and he knows I'm furious--he knew from day one that I was furious about that.

 

But to put all the blame on the woman is just ridiculous. Both partners are equally responsible--in my world at least. And my world is the furthest thing from being perfect...

[bentnotbroken]

My only comment to that is, if both parties are responsible for the pregnancy why aren't both parties responsible for the affair? I have read on her time and time again, how it isn't the ow's responsibility for the damage of t he affair, the ow isn't the one married to his wife. She didn't make promises to his wife. But when a baby is involved the wife has to deal with it, a decision she didn't make. And now the ow wants the man(not you in particular Gwen) take som responsibility for the child, because it took two. Just kind of paradoxial IMO:confused:.

[Gwyneth]

Oh I definitely do agree that an affair is both the married person and lover's responsiblity. Both parties equally agreed to be a part of the affair. There are some twists and turns though--such as, the lover didn't know the partner was married or in a R. Then no, I can't say the lover is responsible--but they are if they continue to be in the affair even after finding out.

 

I don't agree it's the BS's fault that an affair happens. I do though think that the BS is partially at fault for marital woe's--if any. I also think that the lover may be a part of the reason for marital woes, but then there are times when the lover is formed because of marital woes. \

 

There are All different types of reasons and explanations. I agree with most.

[Gwyneth]

Also, I have said in the past it's not my fault MM chose to cheat on his wife--but it is partially my fault that he chose to do this with me. This is because I agreed to it. But I did not make the initial decision for him that he would cheat on his wife--that is something he chose on his own time. I can't be responsible for adultry unless I'm involved. That goes for anyone.

[Woggle]

The OW/OM is never responsible for making a person cheat but I do feel they are responsible for whatever drama they find themselves in.

 

Congrats on the pregnancy and I do hope that he steps up to the plate and is a father to these children because they deserve to have both parents that care about them.

[Gwyneth]

The OW/OM is never responsible for making a person cheat but I do feel they are responsible for whatever drama they find themselves in.

 

Congrats on the pregnancy and I do hope that he steps up to the plate and is a father to these children because they deserve to have both parents that care about them.

 

I'm glad we agree.

 

Thank you

[bentnotbroken]

Oh I definitely do agree that an affair is both the married person and lover's responsiblity. Both parties equally agreed to be a part of the affair. There are some twists and turns though--such as, the lover didn't know the partner was married or in a R. Then no, I can't say the lover is responsible--but they are if they continue to be in the affair even after finding out.

 

I don't agree it's the BS's fault that an affair happens. I do though think that the BS is partially at fault for marital woe's--if any. I also think that the lover may be a part of the reason for marital woes, but then there are times when the lover is formed because of marital woes. \

 

There are All different types of reasons and explanations. I agree with most.

 

 

 

I would definately agree that I added my share of mess to my marriage. I would shut down and ignore what was painful to me. I am a depressive personality and I didn't know that at the time, but it kept me from dealing with situations in a mature way. I did the best that I could and he didn't take his vows seriously. So yes there are two people in a marriage, each with their own baggage and hangups. It is a two way street. But I will always believe it is meant to be with you and someone who is married, wait until they have untangled from the spouse to develope a relationship..

[Ariadne]

She didn't make promises to his wife. But when a baby is involved the wife has to deal with it, a decision she didn't make. And now the ow wants the man(not you in particular Gwen) take some responsibility for the child

 

The OW/OM is never responsible for making a person cheat but I do feel they are responsible for whatever drama they find themselves in.

 

G has no right to impose a financial responsability on that guy, that is already married and has a financial responsability to his own wife and children.

 

That guy didn't plan to have a baby with her, and she was too irresponsible to prevent this preganancy.

 

If she really really wants to keep the babies, because she wants to be a mother and doesn't want to have an abortion... That's wonderful.

 

But she can't force this guy to support two children for the next 18 years that he didn't plan to have with her, and drag his whole family in financial strain for all that time.

 

Or even worse, the guy's wife would have to go get a job to support G's babies.

 

The wife should not have to be dragged into this mess. And I agree with the one that said the OW is responsible for the drama they find themselves into.

 

Now, if the guy wants to be nice and give her money from time to time that's great too. I think ideal. But not to sue that guy for money, that is just fkd up.

[whichwayisup]

Sometimes I don't understand you, A.

G has no right to impose a financial responsability on that guy, that is already married and has a financial responsability to his own wife and children.

Actually, legally she does. He had sex with her and she got pregnant. He was stupid enough to cheat on his wife and get someone else pregnant, well, those are now HIS consquences HE has to face - And sadly yes, his wife probably will have to face as well because of his selfish choice to cheat.

 

That guy didn't plan to have a baby with her, and she was too irresponsible to prevent this preganancy.

 

How do you know that? Noone here knows the intent. Though he did tell Gwyn that he would like to impregnant her - Even him saying that as a joke, shows that he has thought about it. Remember too, this guy is a piece of work, from what G has said about him: He's selfish, he's a manipulator, he is a serial cheater and has no sense of what's right or wrong. He's in it for himself. Well, he's a big boy and seeing as he's made some pretty dumb choices recently, he'll have to face the heat and take responsibility now.

 

A condom was used, it either fell off or apparently he took it off. Yes, maybe G should have been more aware or made him pull out, that didn't happen and it's better to deal with the NOW than to focus on what should have been...

 

If she really really wants to keep the babies, because she wants to be a mother and doesn't want to have an abortion... That's wonderful.

Apparently she does want to keep the kids and rightfully so.

 

But she can't force this guy to support two children for the next 18 years that he didn't plan to have with her, and drag his whole family in financial strain for all that time.

 

Legally she can once it's actually proven he is the father. I'm sure there WILL be a paternity test. If MM's wife finds out, there WILL be a test taken for sure.

 

Also, he dragged his family into this mess as he was the one who cheated. These are consquences of HIS actions. He cheated and knocked someone up. I'm sure he'll be going through some real tough times...

 

Or even worse, the guy's wife would have to go get a job to support G's babies.

 

I doubt that very much, even more so seeing as MM's wife is pregnant as well.

 

The wife should not have to be dragged into this mess. And I agree with the one that said the OW is responsible for the drama they find themselves into.

 

No, she shouldn't be dragged into this mess, but she is now by her husband's selfish choice to cheat on her. There's no way he'll be able to keep G's pregnancy from her...

 

Now, if the guy wants to be nice and give her money from time to time that's great too. I think ideal. But not to sue that guy for money, that is just fkd up.

 

Where did it say she was going to sue for money? She's already said if he doesn't want to have anything to do with it, she can provide $$ on her own without the help of MM.

[Ariadne]

Actually, legally she does. He had sex with her and she got pregnant.

 

And that's what's been repeated here ad nauseam, it's the law!

 

The wife is a SAHM, I don't see how the guy is going to be able to support 6 people on one salary. The wife will have to go to work to support G's babies.

 

She says that if he signs his rights away and never sees the babies she'll support them herself. That's even more messed up and emotional black mail to get him to support them.

 

Second, I bet you, that if the guy goes that route she'll sue him no matter what.

[whichwayisup]

The wife is a SAHM, I don't see how the guy is going to be able to support 6 people on one salary. The wife will have to go to work to support G's babies.

 

Well, that's something he should have thought about before having sex outside of this marriage. He'll probably be paying through the nose - It's his own fault in that respect.

 

Legally speaking I doubt MM's wife will have to go to work to pay for her G's kid(s). If anything, she'll be working to support HER own two children, NOT Gwyn's.