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finally told MM I'm pregnant...

Gwyneth

By Gwyneth
in The Other Man / Woman

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Gwyneth Established Member

Gwyneth

Posted
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It surprisingly went better than I imagined.

 

He came over after work the other day knowong I needed to tell him something. So I told him I am pregnant and possibly with twins.

 

Well when I told him I'm pregnant, his jaw dropped. But then I said possibly with twins--his jaw dropped lower. Then he got up and kept walking back and forth asking questions -- how, when, why me, why now? I just let him talk/vent.

 

I told him I understand he and his W are also expecting and I don't expect anything from him--i think he gave me enough. I also said he very well knows how and when this happened. He scratched his head.

 

He said he needs to do a lot of thinking, but to rule out not being a part of the babies' lives. I said sure. I can't deny him that right, or for my babies.

 

He asked if he can come to the doc with me next time I go, I said not a problem.

 

I told him I'm seeing someone new and that he will be a part of my and the babies' lives and he has to accept that--no responce to that.

 

Before he left he held my hand and said he will make sure everyone will be okay. I said sure.

 

Sorry I'm so brief--im on my blackberry and its uncomfortable to type.

 

Well he said to give him a few days to think--so let him think.

 

I feel better now that he knows.

 

That's my update.

White Flower Established Member

White Flower

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Glad you got it out and have one less thing to be concerned about. He may need a while to let it sink in.

 

Take care of yourself, sweetie.

 

Where can I read about this new guy?

blair08 Established Member

blair08

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Glad it went well.

MakeLemonade Established Member

MakeLemonade

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I am glad you finally were able to tell him - I know it had to have been weighing on you - at least just wanting to get it "out there". I am happy for you that it was fairly drama free and low-stress or at least as much as it could be. :p

 

So when do you see the doctor next? Just curious when you might know more surely if it's twins or a single.

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Gwyneth Established Member

Gwyneth

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I am glad you finally were able to tell him - I know it had to have been weighing on you - at least just wanting to get it "out there". I am happy for you that it was fairly drama free and low-stress or at least as much as it could be. :p

 

So when do you see the doctor next? Just curious when you might know more surely if it's twins or a single.

 

Thank you :)

 

I think next week...that's a good question. At the end of March some time.

 

Drama free so far...he's still on his meds :lmao:

 

It will get ugly when he tells wife.

noforgiveness Established Member

noforgiveness

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gwyneth these babies need a stable home. Please watch who you bring into their lives. You could not be seeing this new guy all that long and you are already declaring that he will be a part of the baby's life?????

 

You are not playing house. They will need positive role models not the new flavor of the month. Think about it before you have someone new. Honestly after the mess of being with a mm you probably should have discovered who you are before jumping into a new relationship that you so soon proclaim to be a part of your unborn childs life from another man.

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Gwyneth Established Member

Gwyneth

Posted
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gwyneth these babies need a stable home. Please watch who you bring into their lives. You could not be seeing this new guy all that long and you are already declaring that he will be a part of the baby's life?????

 

You are not playing house. They will need positive role models not the new flavor of the month. Think about it before you have someone new. Honestly after the mess of being with a mm you probably should have discovered who you are before jumping into a new relationship that you so soon proclaim to be a part of your unborn childs life from another man.

 

Very true, I am being Very scepticle now. I have known of this new guy for a while--we have friends in common. I know he's good taking my friends' words. Don't worry--he's not moving in or marrying me any time soon. We just began dating and right now I'm such a mess :eek:

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I can imagine you must be a mess after all of this so I don't know why you would start up with someone new before you have a chance to heal from MM.

 

Now that you have told MM you don't expect anything from him he may not tell his wife. He doesn't have to now.

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Gwyneth Established Member

Gwyneth

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I can imagine you must be a mess after all of this so I don't know why you would start up with someone new before you have a chance to heal from MM.

 

Now that you have told MM you don't expect anything from him he may not tell his wife. He doesn't have to now.

 

He very well knows how I feel about him telling his wife and coming clean. But that's up to him--I'm not going to make him do something he isn't comfortable with. I have a feeling he will try to support the babies as he did say to Rule out not having them in his life. I believed him when he said that. My response to every thing he said was a simple, "sure." The ball's in his court now--I did my part.

 

As for the new guy and getting over the MM, I didn't really see my R with MM as everlasting or heart warming, so there wasn't much to get over. Sure, I adored him as a friend and he made me happy, but that was all really. This new guy came into my life new years eve--a fresh start to a fresh new year. Then he and I called it off because he had to do some traveling for business. Of course, we agreed we'd date other people and when he comes back we can see where we're at. Well, I was pregnant and open and honest with him about that. He appreciated my honesty and asked if we can be friends, but that quickly escalated into a deeper kind of friendship. I really like him--can't a girl move on from MM and be happy? Pregnant or not? I don't think being pregnant should stop me from love and happiness.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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As for the new guy and getting over the MM, I didn't really see my R with MM as everlasting or heart warming, so there wasn't much to get over. Sure, I adored him as a friend and he made me happy, but that was all really
.

 

Gwen I don't think you are over the MM you have like 3 threads going about this guy already.

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Gwyneth Established Member

Gwyneth

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.

 

Gwen I don't think you are over the MM you have like 3 threads going about this guy already.

 

Don't fantasize. Two of them are things i was wondering, and this one is about my pregnancy and telling him. But I'm not arguing over this--I know how I feel and I don't feel I need to defend myself or my feelings any further.

 

BTW, it's Gwyn, not Gwen. :)

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Sorry Gwyn, I'm not trying to start an argument I was just pointing out what seems to be obvious.

LucreziaBorgia Established Member

LucreziaBorgia

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I know I'm cynical, but I'm not convinced that your MM took it so well, so much as he saw an 'out' of the situation when you told him another man was involved. I would play this one carefully - and regardless of any verbal 'agreement' you and MM may have, you will want to seriously consider getting the courts involved so that your children will be covered legally without fail.

SpanksTheMonkey Established Member

SpanksTheMonkey

Posted
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and regardless of any verbal 'agreement' you and MM may have, you will want to seriously consider getting the courts involved so that your children will be covered legally without fail.

Agreed why shouldn't the MM be some what responsible legally for the baby/babies he help bring into the world?

 

I know the new guy is wonderful and everything is shiny and happy for you at the moment which is great don't get me wrong.

 

But just from reading this post I some how get the feeling your thinking the new guy may just take over the reigns completely as dad for them some day?

 

I would def get something down on paper to at least make it official who the biological dad is and what is expected of him don't let him off that easy.

 

Just to cover yourself and the little ones in the long run congrats by the way :D

Ariadne Established Member

Ariadne

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you will want to seriously consider getting the courts involved so that your children will be covered legally without fail.

 

This is what's wrong with the legal system:

 

~ I told him I'm pregnant

 

~ possibly with twins

 

~ I didn't really see my R with MM as everlasting or heart warming

 

~ I adored him as a friend

 

~ This new guy came into my life new years eve

 

-------

 

So, she didn't even love the MM.

 

Barely saw him as a "friend."

 

The guy sure didn't want or planned to get pregnant with her.

 

And now he has to support some twins he didn't want for the next 18 years.

 

Really fked up if you ask me.

Ariadne Established Member

Ariadne

Posted
Posted

Oh yeah,

 

And before you say "why did he have sex."

 

Well, she is a grown up woman and she knows she can get pregnant.

 

So, if she is not planning to get pregnant, then either don't have sex or protect yourself.

 

If she really wants to get pregnant and the guy he is not in agreement, she might might as well be responsible for it.

 

Now the guy might want to support the babies, but only if he wants to.

 

He shouldn't be forced to that, unless he raped her.

noforgiveness Established Member

noforgiveness

Posted
Posted
This is what's wrong with the legal system:

 

~ I told him I'm pregnant

 

~ possibly with twins

 

~ I didn't really see my R with MM as everlasting or heart warming

 

~ I adored him as a friend

 

~ This new guy came into my life new years eve

 

-------

 

So, she didn't even love the MM.

 

Barely saw him as a "friend."

 

The guy sure didn't want or planned to get pregnant with her.

 

And now he has to support some twins he didn't want for the next 18 years.

 

Really fked up if you ask me.

 

 

and to top it off this mans wife is pregnant so she not only messed up him for life but also his wife and child. Screwed up a whole family for what? A man she didn't even really care about but hey she was having fun right? Isn't that what it's all about?:sick: This poor family and these poor babies that are going to have to see men in and out of their life their whole lives.

 

Have you considered adoption?

MimiMe Established Member

MimiMe

Posted
Posted
gwyneth these babies need a stable home. Please watch who you bring into their lives. You could not be seeing this new guy all that long and you are already declaring that he will be a part of the baby's life?????

 

You are not playing house. They will need positive role models not the new flavor of the month. Think about it before you have someone new. Honestly after the mess of being with a mm you probably should have discovered who you are before jumping into a new relationship that you so soon proclaim to be a part of your unborn childs life from another man.

 

 

Very true. Life is about the baby(ies) now. Parenting is a selfless act!! Kids can keep not only marriages together but also those you are around when you are raising them in a single parent household. Good luck but most important have a healthy pregnancy and baby (ies)!

MimiMe Established Member

MimiMe

Posted
Posted
Oh yeah,

 

And before you say "why did he have sex."

 

Well, she is a grown up woman and she knows she can get pregnant.

 

So, if she is not planning to get pregnant, then either don't have sex or protect yourself.

 

If she really wants to get pregnant and the guy he is not in agreement, she might might as well be responsible for it.

 

Now the guy might want to support the babies, but only if he wants to.

 

He shouldn't be forced to that, unless he raped her.

 

 

And are we all forgetting... He is already M to someone that he IS legally responsible for and is having a legitimate child with. This is going to be difficult time for everyone involved, especially if you are planning to go into the legal system. He can say all he wants now, to not spark any controversy with you, but it all comes down to the day those babies arrive.

 

Thank your stars that you are in the USA, because in many other countries this kind of situation is never acknowledged as something that you have the "legal right" to do.

 

Is he at least someone financially set, to be able to support 2 families?

(btw, one is never financially set for a baby, LOL! Unless you are Warren Buffet)

Ariadne Established Member

Ariadne

Posted
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Screwed up a whole family for what? A man she didn't even really care about but hey she was having fun right?

 

Yep.

 

Now the whole family of his is going to get dragged into this mess.

 

If she wants to be a mother great, I don't blame her for that. It's going to be awesome for her, children are a blessing.

 

But I don't see why that guy would have to pay for it.

LucreziaBorgia Established Member

LucreziaBorgia

Posted
Posted

According to Gwyn:

 

BTW, for those of you wondering how I ended up pregnant, well I was under the impression he used a condom--apparently not, or it somehow came off during. I had a feeling he might not had put it on because I'm a little allergic to them and didn't feel irritation. I think he tried to get me pregnant--this is just a hunch I am having thinking back to past conversations I have had with him.

 

Any guy who 'plays' this way should be expected to pay the price if a pregnancy comes of it. I might feel a little different if it was a case of lying about being on the pill, or if he took great pains to be careful and avoid a pregnancy. I think he was one of those types of MM who do the 'baby talk' with the OW - not because they want the reality of raising a child, but because of the erotic notion of possessing her to the point of 'planting' a part of himself inside her. When reality sets in, its an entirely different story. The MM who talked so lovingly about having a baby with OW, when faced with an actual pregnancy becomes different. Erotic possibility crumbles when faced with the reality of breaking his home, being outed publicly in court through DNA and child support, etc.

 

That said, I'm very curious to see how the wife will respond to this.

noforgiveness Established Member

noforgiveness

Posted
Posted
According to Gwyn:

 

 

 

Any guy who 'plays' this way should be expected to pay the price if a pregnancy comes of it. I might feel a little different if it was a case of lying about being on the pill, or if he took great pains to be careful and avoid a pregnancy. I think he was one of those types of MM who do the 'baby talk' with the OW - not because they want the reality of raising a child, but because of the erotic notion of possessing her to the point of 'planting' a part of himself inside her. When reality sets in, its an entirely different story. The MM who talked so lovingly about having a baby with OW, when faced with an actual pregnancy becomes different. Erotic possibility crumbles when faced with the reality of breaking his home, being outed publicly in court through DNA and child support, etc.

 

That said, I'm very curious to see how the wife will respond to this.

 

Hopefully she will immediately go to a lawyer for child support so she gets first crack at the slimes money because it is about to be all divided up.

Ariadne Established Member

Ariadne

Posted
Posted
Any guy who 'plays' this way should be expected to pay the price if a pregnancy comes of it. I might feel a little different if it was a case of lying about being on the pill... the erotic notion of possessing her to the point of 'planting' a part of himself inside her.

 

Oh,

 

Ok, if he deceived her then it could be a different story.

 

But, can't you tell when a guy slips out a condom? I know I have when it happened to me.

 

And there is some truth to the possessing part of getting someone pregnant.

JackJack Established Member

JackJack

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Well I'm out of the loop here, but since he didn't use a condom or so it was suspected, was she on anything at all herself?

 

NO disrespect but for someone who bad mouthed him and acted as if she didn't really even like him, I would have thought laying down with him might not have been an option. And even so, maybe some kind of protection should have come into play, if not from him maybe her, unless thats the way it might have been planned. I'm just saying.

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

Posted
Posted (edited)
Oh,

 

Ok, if he deceived her then it could be a different story.

 

But, can't you tell when a guy slips out a condom? I know I have when it happened to me.

 

I certainly can tell - always, immediately, with no doubts about it.

 

Maybe my vag is especially sensitive. Whenever I've had a condom slip off, I've always known - the instant it came off. Sex without a condom feels 1000% different from sex with a condom.

Edited by blind_otter
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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