THEBIGARC Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 I take one step fwd and then take two steps back. I have been showing no affection to her for the last 3 days. And in that time she has cried and wanted me to hug her and giving me mixed signals. Well, I was feeling good yesterday. I was confident I would be able to just be roomates until we sell the house. Well, last night I was hurting and this morning I woke up about 5 am and went back to sleep and had a dream about all what is going on. It was so real; it was like I was awake. I went in our room and climbed in bed with her and she hugged me and I kissed her. I felt so bad after. Like I was giving into her. I think I need to move out, but it is not fair. I didn't ask for this. She did! How am I to make it through this seeing her everyday. I was on the computer last night and she came up to and asked who I was talking to. She said she in over our relationship, but she is sorry for giving me mixed signals. I wish someone would tell me what to do! I am so confused. I want to get over this mistake I made in marrying her. I know things will get better, but this state I am in right now it really hard to bare. If I was away from her, I could mourn the relationship and move on. Living with her it is impossible to do that. It would kill me to leave my new house and for her and the OM to enjoy being together, but it is killing me standing in her way.
guessjeans Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 I dont know how you do it. When me and my ex decided to split, i was ready. He wasnt. We lived together from March to when the house sold and closed in September under those type of conditions. The thing is, we both still loved each other. I look back on it, and I cant imagine what he must have been going through. He asked me to stay, funny, now that he is in a relationship with someone, he says towards the end, i only stay because of our son! Even after I moved out, he asked us to get back together and I said no, not now, we need time apart...and he tells his g//f and me that he only stayed under those conditions. Still, my heart aches for you. My heart aches for my ex and what he must have felt. But i wouldnt have left if he didnt have narcisisstic traits that I realize now. He pushed me and our son out of his life because of his inability to truly love and cherish us, like we did him. Very very sad indeed. Now, i have no contact with him whatsoever and it is easier on me. He calls for our 20 yr old and my son has his own voice mail box where he leaves him a message. When he goes to visit his father, i never ask about it because i dont want to know whats going on in his life. Once you separate, it will be alot easier on your heart in the long run. The ability to have the other miss you is a powerful thing. In the 30 yrs that me and my ex have known each other, this is the first time we have ever gone longer than a month not talking for seeing each other. I guess when you have someone else, its a lot easier to forget the one you left behind. I wonder if he misses me...i doubt it. I know she will miss you, and you will miss her, its all part and parcel of the journey to emotional health down the road. I know its only words on a screen, but we all will get through these tough times, i promise you. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. And although you cant see it now, one day you will see that all this pain was for a reason, and you will embrace it as a journey to a better and more understanding you. I promise.
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