brandiebrandie Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 i met my husband at a club five years ago..i had 1 child ..we moved in together and i got pregnant...i begged him for marriage and we got married..... ..9 months latter a friend and her boy friend was staying with me...the boy friend tried to rape me after i gave birth after being in icu for a week.....called the law and had a rape kit done...i felt hurt and was scared for a very long time...the hubby worked 12 hr shifts at the time...a yr latter i was pregnant again by the hubby with twins...i gave birth 3 months early due to stress...he was still working 12hr shifts and i had no help when he came home he would sleep all day long and wouldn't help out ....3 months latter i met up my an ex we had sex and the condom slipped...and i had met up and another ex and we had sex condom on...that happened in a 2 month time spand.....i didn't cheat anymore...the hubby said something won't right and asked if i had cheated...i denied it for almost a 1yr...then i told him........i feel stupid that i told him.....but we worked through it....my girls get ssi......i pay all the main bills and he covered everything in between...is was cool with that....but it started gettin to a point where if i wanted something he'll tell me i need to get a job.....one night he went out with his friends....the next day some chic called saying that he made her p&ssy so wet.....and i found a number in his pocket and there was cell phone records....i forgave him.....he has always been an agressive person but he started gettin more an more agressive punching holes in the was because i wouldn't give him sex because i was really tired ....or kickin the funtiure.....the last straw for me was...after i got in accident and totaled my van....the selt belt hooked my neck and i was really hurt ...when i got home he wanted sex ...i didn't really think that he would ...so i said ok ...and he did...so i told him it was over..... not to long after that i found out i had herpes and i'm hurt by that i honest don't know how and the worst part is he won't go get tested...........2 be countiued........
lovelorcet Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 What do you want to hear? You have made a sting of very poor choices in your life. You can deiced to start making healthier decisions or you can continue as you are. I feel sorry for your children...
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Get yourself and your children out of this broken and dead end marriage. The environment you are creating for your children by staying this way is not healthy for them or for you. "Staying for the kids" in a case like this is the worst thing you could do for them. If you can't take care of them on your own, find someone (not a man) who can help you raise them, or at the very least consider fostering them in a safe home environment until you can get your life together and raise them yourself.
Author brandiebrandie Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 i can take care of my kids i'm in the process of gettin a job i'm a cna2 i haven't worked in yrs because i was taking care of my daughters they were born early and had problems ...so i did go back and take some courses at the community college ....i know i made some poor chooses and i have grown from them .....but it's like when i told him it was over i saw another man...block my bank card ...i found out because i told him that i needed some pull ups for my lil girl and he told me that thier was money on the card and i went to wal mart got the pulls ups swipe the card and it declined i called him and he siad o yea i blocked it...he has grabbed my wirst to the point where i felt like going to be hurt...i'm trin to get out i really am i trin to get him of the least ....i pay all the bills he hasn't paid nothing so i know i can handle it really when i get a job....my lil girl just had surgury ....i love my kids ...my son plays soccor ...i'm not a bad mother at all.....just keep puttin my self in f'ed up postions...i want a divorce but he wants the boys ...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.....I DON'T.. i think imma just focus on me and my kids and let **** fall however.....but he got to get the hell out my house
DaisyBelle Posted March 13, 2008 Posted March 13, 2008 (edited) Brandie, You have four children and above all, you need to serve as a role model for them. Otherwise, they will eventually end up in the same difficult situation as you, which I imagine is not the life you want for them. You sound very young - how old are you? Firstly, please get yourself to a Planned Parenthood or similar clinic. There are clinics available where you can get help at a reduced fee or at no cost at all. *Please* put yourself on birth control for your own sake and for your children. You cannot afford either emotionally or financially to have more children. Also, please talk to the clinic about your herpes and what you can do to prevent outbreaks and transfer to others. Secondly, please find a local women's shelter/center to help you and your children. They can provide you with low cost legal advice and possibly housing if you are being injured. You need to get out of this relationship. The center might also be able to provide you with some emotional counseling and job referrals. You also need to get both of those aspects of your life in order. You will lose your children altogether if you do not get your life together. Specifically, this means removing yourself and your children from an abusive environment, finding yourself a job, and taking care of your emotional and physical health. Thirdly, and most importantly, please use your mistakes as a very intense lesson. You are not only endangering yourself, but also your children, by continuing on this path. I hope you can find the strength to remain celibate for a while as it appears your sexual activities are the root of many problems in your life. All the best to you. Edited March 13, 2008 by DaisyBelle
Author brandiebrandie Posted March 13, 2008 Author Posted March 13, 2008 ok....i'm 25 yrs old ...i'm not young and dumb anymore i know i have made some bad mistakes in my past....as far as kids go i can't have anymore i had a hystrectomy done...after my twins were born..like i said my girls were born early and it's had to find work with dealing with that ...i have them in headstart while they are there i clean house or do yard word i'm looking for a job now ...my kids goes to headstart/school from 8-2....i don't have any family help ..i'm doing the best i can ....i use the system to my best ....i live in a house...like i said i can take care of my kids fine have been...i'm just trin to get him out because i know it's not heathly for the kids ....i have a reg. doctor and i don't have and outbreaks or anything...i keep a good check on my self and my kids...i'm not a bad person ...sometimes people just need to hear what other people think...cuz u never know it might just be that one saying that changes them for the better and make them say ...why didn't i think of that ...as far as me out there having sex ..naw..i'm celibate....i still think it's not to late for me to find love out there oneday but for right now i'm savin myself for that person who ever that might be ... i'm gettin my wieght down ...i was 220 now i'm 185....focusin on my kids more ...and just trin to get over this hump...and it's hard when you don't have alot of family support.. .... i'm a strong woman i've been through alot ...watching my grandma die right in front of me when i was 15 to my own mother telling me that she see another female more as a daughter to her than me... one thing u right about is that i don't want my kids going down the same path...my oldest son is 6 reading on a 3rd and 4th grade level..plays soccor and basketball very well...4 yr boy is smart as well...my lil girls there been through SO So much at birth they wieght was 1pound..now 3 30 pounds...i'm very much on my job..it's time for me to step it up alittle bit more it's hard but i'm going to do it ... i really do thank u for all the replys ....it's keeping me focused
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