sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 A few weeks ago I was bored and needed to vent so I posted a personals ad on Craigs List. I guy sent a response I guess it must have been to a message I had sent to him, was a while ago so I didn't remember what I said or who he was. This is what he said: Hey Sweet, you are a joke, because 30 is nothing when compared to 43, because it's what's in the inside that counts and the personality, and you are missing out when you screen based on age and do not take the time to get to know the person. How do you know what I am like? You have not met me. You have not dated me to see the nice romantic gentleman I am. But if you want to focus on age, please go right on ahead, nobody is stopping you. Take Care!" Not sure he meant that take care at the end! LOL But the thing is my whole posting was about how I don't decide on who I will date based on colour, height, weight, job or anything like that because you never know the package the person your meant to be with will come in. I also said that there there was an age range I am comfortable with. I have dated a guy 7 years older before and I did feel the age gap and this guy was 13 years older. Just was too much for me, everyone had a age range they are comfortable with. Do you think it's right to get p*ssed at someone because your out of age range they want to date in? He didn't bother me, I just wasn't sure why he got so mad.
tanbark813 Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Do you think it's right to get p*ssed at someone because your out of age range they want to date in? No, but people on CL tend to be of pretty low quality. I know you said you were bored and just venting but if you really want to try online dating you should go with a paid site.
serial muse Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 A few weeks ago I was bored and needed to vent so I posted a personals ad on Craigs List. I guy sent a response I guess it must have been to a message I had sent to him, was a while ago so I didn't remember what I said or who he was. This is what he said: Hey Sweet, you are a joke, because 30 is nothing when compared to 43, because it's what's in the inside that counts and the personality, and you are missing out when you screen based on age and do not take the time to get to know the person. How do you know what I am like? You have not met me. You have not dated me to see the nice romantic gentleman I am. But if you want to focus on age, please go right on ahead, nobody is stopping you. Take Care!" Not sure he meant that take care at the end! LOL But the thing is my whole posting was about how I don't decide on who I will date based on colour, height, weight, job or anything like that because you never know the package the person your meant to be with will come in. I also said that there there was an age range I am comfortable with. I have dated a guy 7 years older before and I did feel the age gap and this guy was 13 years older. Just was too much for me, everyone had a age range they are comfortable with. Do you think it's right to get p*ssed at someone because your out of age range they want to date in? He didn't bother me, I just wasn't sure why he got so mad. He was just taking out his frustrations with the dating world on you. Meh. The funny thing about this is that I think you could now say that you do know something about the kind of person he is, thanks to this followup message.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 He was just taking out his frustrations with the dating world on you. Meh. The funny thing about this is that I think you could now say that you do know something about the kind of person he is, thanks to this follow up message. I did send him a response back and said something to that effect and haven't gotten a response back from him! LOL
NuTuDating Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Most people have a general idea of what they're looking for. That's the way it's supposed to be. Nothing wrong with that. Now, that said, it does get a little frustrating cruising the online profiles and seeing a cute 5'0" girl that won't talk to anyone shorter than 6'0" tall. That does seem a little screwed up. But no reason to go e-mailing mean things. There's nothing wrong with having arbitrary standards. You're limiting yourself, and if that's okay with you, go for it!
blind_otter Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Sour grapes, IMO. You are allowed to have standards. Age gaps can be a big issue to some, so don't worry about it.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 Most people have a general idea of what they're looking for. That's the way it's supposed to be. Nothing wrong with that. Now, that said, it does get a little frustrating cruising the online profiles and seeing a cute 5'0" girl that won't talk to anyone shorter than 6'0" tall. That does seem a little screwed up. But no reason to go e-mailing mean things. There's nothing wrong with having arbitrary standards. You're limiting yourself, and if that's okay with you, go for it! Any standard is limiting in some way. I only have a limit in age because of the generation gap, the person seems more like your father or little brother! LOL
NuTuDating Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Any standard is limiting in some way. I only have a limit in age because of the generation gap, the person seems more like your father or little brother! LOL Absolutely. You definitely don't want to date someone who will be over the hill before you're old enough to buy alcohol!
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 Absolutely. You definitely don't want to date someone who will be over the hill before you're old enough to buy alcohol! And the fact that I am 30 but people think I am 24 or sometimes younger.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 No, but people on CL tend to be of pretty low quality. I know you said you were bored and just venting but if you really want to try online dating you should go with a paid site. No i wouldn't post a real one on there and hope to find even medium quality. I have put profiles on other free online sites but no luck and have wondered if a paid site is the better way to go. They are just too expensive.
NuTuDating Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 And the fact that I am 30 but people think I am 24 or sometimes younger. Yeah, the girl I'm dating is 33 and she looks like she's in her early 20's, too. Must be tough!
tanbark813 Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 I have put profiles on other free online sites but no luck and have wondered if a paid site is the better way to go. They are just too expensive. You get what you pay for.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 You get what you pay for. Obviously, which is why I agree. My bank account just doesn't feel the same way!
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 Yeah, the girl I'm dating is 33 and she looks like she's in her early 20's, too. Must be tough! Na, it's the only thing that got me threw turning 30! LOL
NuTuDating Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Obviously, which is why I agree. My bank account just doesn't feel the same way! Not all of them are that expensive - around $25 a month for most. I'd avoid eHarmony like the plague. eHarmony doesn't seem to think that anyone is grown up enough to browse through the members and choose who they e-mail. Match or Yahoo seem to be crowded with men - probably a 10:1 ratio or better of women to men, so you'd be in good shape.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 Not all of them are that expensive - around $25 a month for most. I'd avoid eHarmony like the plague. eHarmony doesn't seem to think that anyone is grown up enough to browse through the members and choose who they e-mail. Match or Yahoo seem to be crowded with men - probably a 10:1 ratio or better of women to men, so you'd be in good shape. Thanks, great to know! I think I have a profile on yahoo - just not paying to do anything! LOL
NuTuDating Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Thanks, great to know! I think I have a profile on yahoo - just not paying to do anything! LOL Well, the way yahoo works, where you can't receive e-mails unless you're a member, will seriously cut down on the number of people who contact you. That's at least how it works here. As a paying member, I could (back when I was a member) send anyone an e-mail, but they had to be paying to read it. Got lots of non-responses that way, so many people only e-mail paying members. Shoot, for $25, you can certainly try it. Just be careful, when you want to stop using the service, they ALL make it an act of congress to stop the billing. They seem to know how to cutt off your access, but somehow (esp. eHarmony, those effing theives) they keep billing you for a month or two.
Balthazar Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 I agree with the other posters Cheeky and with you. It is your right to set up age parameters within which you are comfortable, especially with Internet dating. I am 37 and normally prefer to date woman in their mid 20's, but I understand that there are women in this age group who consider the gap too large, and I respect that. Cheers
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 Well is sent me another email which I didn't think would happen: "Okay Cheeky I hear what you are saying but please give me a chance okay? I'm more of a kid at heart and I promise you that there will not be that much generational difference between me and you. I do not think that you are black correct? Because if you were it would not be that bad at all because I am a black gentleman with a heart of pure gold, and whatever a 30 year old are interested in, I would think that it would not be hard to be interested in that also. I mean I still listen to my rap, hip-hop, R&B, Old Skool, Disco, Funk, Soul, and House music so you get what I mean music wise? So anyways it's okay I totally understand how you feel and you do not have to give me a chance okay? But if you are black I would like to see your picture okay? Take Care!" Hmm doesn't sound like he only wants to see my picture and give him another chance if I am black (which I'm not)? And he was the one to freak at me because of age? At least there is a range for age!
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