love2loveya Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years that I dated since high school. I was finally able to have my time. I started hanging out with some girls from school. We would go out Thursday - Sunday and get drunk. Unfortunetly, I started to get really close to one of them, We will just call her Tracy. Which I think she was a bad influence on me. I am not blaming her for my actions I completely take on full responsibilty for what I have done. Tracy lived in a different state and would come visit just about every Thursday-Sunday...hints the going out and getting completely wasted on those days. She had recently broke up with her boyfriend of a year Jake, which she cheated with on her previous boyfriend Todd, Todd and Tracy met through Todd's best friend, In which Tracy was dating at the time and she slept with Todd the night they met. Anyway, everywhere we went Todd we be there too. She had no intension on getting back together with him he was just a lot of fun to be around. So when Tracy would go back home, of course I would get lonely. She would always tell me to call Todd see what he's doing, ask him if he will go to your christmas party as your date, Go to the bar with him..and so and so on. So we did. We started hanging, we had a blast. We went to the bar one night and one thing let to another. I stayed at his place and we ended up sleeping together. I felt horrible but at the same time started really like this guy and he started liking me...atleast that's what he was telling me. At that poing we were a big secret. He then got to the point where he said he wanted to ask me out and could see me being his girlfriend. he asked me one time ."You know how you know you really like someone?" "when you are laying in bed after sleeping with them, you don't want them to leave, you just want them by your side laying in bed next to all day" he said that person is you. I was hesitant to say yes to start a relationship with him because here we are sneaking around to be with one another, and Tracy has no clue. I felt the right thing to do was atleast tell her. She was either going to except it or be pissed. Of course she was pissed. I expected that, I mean who wouldn't. After I told him that, he went out and got drunk the next night, drunk dialed Tracy's sister and told her everything. So Tracy's sister sent me a long email asking me about the whole situation and had the nerve to tell me she secretly thought that Todd and I would make a cute couple...thought that was odd. After Tracy found out she told Todd all these crazy made up rumors about me. He then became distance towards me. He would call me and tell me his missed me and that we should get together...that turned into him calling me between the hours of 11pm - 3am trying make me his booty call. He was just giving me all these mixed signals. I was torn. I didn't know how to feel about it. I finally called it quits. I told him that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. A couple of months went by and Tracy found it in her heart to forgive me and I was thankful that she was willing to do so. Out of the blue I get an email from Todd asking me how I am doing and all of this stuff..I ignored it. He emailed me a couple weeks after that asking the samething ...I ignored it. He ran into a friend of my Ex of 6 years at a bar and told him everything that happened between us down to our sex life. I am just so confused of a person that gave me all these mixed signals when we were seeing each other. I just was what he thought he wanted, what he had, and what he threw away. I don't know why I am still the topic of his conversation to people. He is just trying to find ways to contact me. I wonder with time that passed if I'm what he misses. Deep down in side I hope it is. Only because I want him to feel the humiliation that I felt. After I sacrificed a friendship. I lost all dignity, pride, self estem, respect for myself and felt like crawling in a a hole to die. Do you think he misses me?
LoveLace Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Well part of him must still feel connected, or he wouldn't talk about you to other people...I would think, but I'm no expert. Most say, when it's over, let it go, but it would be nice if you 2 could talk about all that's happened, just to be clear on it. Whether or not to try again would be up to you two.
Author love2loveya Posted March 12, 2008 Author Posted March 12, 2008 (edited) I noticed that 45 people had viewed my thread and you were the only one that replied to it. Your remarks made me feel better too. I just want to say thank you for taking the time to give your thoughts. I can say that I still think of him at times but I truly think it's best just to move past it. I wanted to know if there was someone that could relate, I guess. so I can could make sense of it because I was so confused. but your words were enough. and I think I'm ready to really really forget the dirt bag. Take care and thank you! Edited March 12, 2008 by love2loveya
LoveLace Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Aw well your welcome, I'm glad if I helped in any way, even though I'm not sure that I really know what I'm talking about! My love life is a disaster, well it's non-existent actually! I know that when I post here (and boy do I post here!) I take whatever I can get, even though most of the time it's people just telling me to wake up. I am definitely not as good at taking advice as I am giving it, anyone around here would agree! Good luck to ya!
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