shygirl549 Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I dont have many friend, the two that i have got hardly ever ring me, and i never go out anywhere ever. Im feeling lonier and lonier each day. I have no boyfriend, and feel abnormal and weird. Im 21 years old. I find it a pain talking to people and making small talk. I just cant talk to people or make friends. All i manage is acquaintances and im sick of it. Even at social occasions that i cant get out of involving family, its an ordeal really to even speak to my cousin. Thats how bad it is. I went to university and made friends with one girl, and she doesnt invite me out for a night out either. I think she only calls when she wants something as well. She always goes off places like the lake district but never thinks of asking me to come too. How the hell can i get some real friends. I dont have a job, but feel that people wont want to bother with a very shy girl who lacks confidence and self esteem. What will they think if i have no friends? What will i do if they ask what im doing at the weekend? Lie and lie and lie. I dont know what to do, i just feel sorry for myself all the time. HELP. I REALLY AM CRACKING UP HERE.
cocoablack Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I totally understand how you feel. I suppose i don't have much advice for you other than to try to reach out to people online. I'm in the same situation as you and I think i'm losing it too. If you ever wanna chat send me a message. Donna
Kamille Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I was an awkwardly shy teenager and I moved around frequently throughout my twenties, so I know all about that 'I don't have any friends' feeling. First of all, go rent Amélie (the French movie). Everytime I watched that movie it made me feel a lot better about not having many friends and spending a good amount of time alone. I'm sure you keep yourself occupied when you are on your own and those are the things people want to know about - no whether or not you actually already have friends. Second, work on your self-esteem. Easier said then done I know. Especially since low self-esteem is a very though tought pattern to break. But it is breakable. I am always working on ways to try and improve my self-esteem: I find the best thing to do is just learn to accept yourself as you are and laugh at your quirks. That is, why not find the humor - and beauty- in being a shy person. Third, learn to do things on your own. Go out to museums, go out to music shows, go check for a walk in the park, whatever. You will soon notice that nobody is judging you for being alone. I now have no problems sitting at a restaurant alone, or going to movies alone. I even like it. This will likely help you feel less lonely. Remember that life changes all the time and that yes, there comes times when you will need to do the first move. I had moved to a foreign country a few years ago for school and during Christmas break came to realize I hadn't spoken to anyone but my baker for a week. I forced myself to reach for the phone and call up a girl I had met who I thought was very nice but who had never gotten in touch with me. She was having a party that night and invited me. I had to force myself to go, spoke to a few people at the party, thanked her. She started including me in her plans more often and she is now one of my dearest dearest friends.
mysocalledlife Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 shygirl, I bet you would be surprised how many people of all ages feel the same way you do. Some from time to time, and some all their lives. It can be really difficult to meet people when you are shy, I know. If you have a hard time approaching or talking to people in person when you don't know them, check out some other on-line forums. Find sites about things you are interested in and start posting. Its not the same as having friends near you, in person, but it is a start. You may also find that as you post more, you get more comfortable with the idea of talking to people you don't know. Posting here was a good first step, but don't stop there.
Green Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 first off I curiouse are you fat? or some what overweight. If you are I recomend you join a gym. even if you're not fat or anything, working out at a gym regularly will make you happier, and give you friends. what State r u in
XXkissesXX Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 I do think that going to public places on a regular basis is the best way to come into contact with people with the potential for a more long lasting friendship.. working like 20 hours a week you will meet co workers and customers, and I think going to the gym is a great idea because you might meet some athletic guys! Also you might get better results if you are sending the right signals, like did your friend realize you were very interested in going to the lake district with her? Im sorry you didnt get to go because that is obviously something that stood out for you, but you need to realize a lot of young people are very self centered and don't necessarily go out of their way to include others.
Ping Posted March 12, 2008 Posted March 12, 2008 Hi, shygirl. I am very glad to be your friend, if you don't mind i am the friend who you may not hand my hands. That's because i live in China. i think there are so many things we may talk about. Maybe, the curious heart may bring us together. Hope to hear from you. my email:[email protected].
shanny Posted March 22, 2008 Posted March 22, 2008 I'm in the same situation, so thanks for posting this... I am reading the advice as well. I have a boyfriend but I want nothing more than some girlfriends to hang with. I can be kinda shy too, but you never know when you're gonna meet somebody. For example, last week I was at a bar with my boyfriend and he was pissing me off so I started talking to this girl and we're gonna hang out soon. It happens when you're not expecting it. Hang in there!
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