angie16 Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I am sick of these IM's every day and all this great chatty convo and no attempt from him to try and meet up or even talk on the phone. if he really wants me back he'll tell me and not dance around the topic. i'm tired and worth more than this. it hurts so much but its not fair. i love him, i dream of getting back together, and his avoidance of the topic makes me angry. sorry i had to vent but i am over all of this.
Issues & tissues Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 You vent all you want. I know where you are coming from. I did light NC for a while but in order to heal properly there is but one way to go - strict NC. Good luck! (to both of us!)
bejshermanoaks Posted March 15, 2008 Posted March 15, 2008 who broke up with who? If you broke up with him, tell him you want him back..if he broke up with you, go NC until he makes it clear he may want to be back with you..
Author angie16 Posted March 16, 2008 Author Posted March 16, 2008 he broke up with me, 7 months ago. we didn't talk or see each other for 5 months. met up 3 weeks ago, had a great afternoon. have been IM'ing for about 6 weeks total spoaradically. i am doing NC now because i feel like i was strong for a long time, we started IM'ing and it seemed things were going well, but we only hung out the once. I am tired of clearly being there, when he won't take any initiative to even see each other. I'm worth more than that. Its day 4, not a peep from me, noting from him.
Author angie16 Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 I went NC, didn't IM, text, call, nothing for 5 days. I was happy and solid and confident. Like he has emotional radar, first thing yesterday he IM'ed me. I answered his question (its always surfacey, never about us or what the hell is going on here), and then said i had a lunch and had to go. Today I sign on again when i get to work, and Bam, literally 2 seconds after signing on he's there, wanting to chat. again, I said i had a 10am meeting and had to run ( a lie). I went back online about 90 mins later and he was BAM again, right there writing me. I waited 10 mins, then responded politely and chatted for about 20 mins. It was about lunchtime so I just put my IM on away without a goodbye. I stayed off until i knew he'd leave work (after 2pm). So here's my question. What is the deal?!!? its like he knew i was done, even though it had only been 5 days. I'm trying to stay strong and mysterious, i guess because we were chatting I have to do this modified LC. But i want him to take the next step and suggest a meetup. Can someone give me some suggestions to make him realize that this window of time is closing rapidly and I am sick of this back and forth with no progression?? (he's not a confrontational person, to bring it up directly would be bad, just trust me on this). thanks!
beta Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 has anyone ever WON with NC? Really? How do you get closer if there is NC? I don't get it (although i am clearly NOT a MAN!) Mine says he has feelings for me. Broke up with me 2 weeks ago (no real reason, no SO (trust me) and yet has maintained NC! I haven't ! Iemailed (he emailed back) I called. He hasn't called. What now? Is NC really the way forward? (or just a means to heal faster for a relationship that you really want?) i don't get it. I know what you mean about confrontation...mine is the same (stubborn). However, i want to know: Has NC really ever gotten what we really want? (for them to come back missing us?) AND how long does it take???
loveralone Posted March 21, 2008 Posted March 21, 2008 (edited) Absence is to love What wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small, It enkindles the great Roger De Bussy-Rabutin I think that NC is more of a means for you both to get your heads put back on straight so you can figure out what's really going on. It's so easy to get caught up in the emotions rather than the logic of the situation. I'm on day 4 of NC after all the same things - emails, IM's, texting...he even called me once because he was "lonely"...but that has gone back and forth over the past 3 weeks, and I finally had to stop it because I couldn't figure out my own head. The first 3.5 days were miserable! But, I can honestly say, after thinking about things logically without the constant hope that at any moment I might (or might not) hear from him, the emotional fog has lifted and I'm thinking clearly again! YAY! So, to answer your question Beta, I think NC is good for the broken couple, no matter what the intention is to start. Edited March 21, 2008 by loveralone
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