broken990 Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 This is a long read and quite involved but I would like some advice, maybe even some stories on who has it worse... First a little about me, I'm a 21 year old University student in the UK. OK, I started dating this gorgeous 20 year old girl last November and although her physical attraction to me wasn't there that much at the beginning, we got on really well. We went on a few dates, hung around with each other and within a few weeks had started dating and we were having sex. Everything was really good, then term ended for Xmas. She is a foreign student so she stayed at Uni but I went home. I visited her once that week (costing me a £50 train ticket). We went to London. It was amazing. I stayed the night. The following week she came to visit me at home (costing her £50), she met my parents and I took her to York. She then left by train saying goodbye at the station. But again it was amazing and I really was falling for her. The following day she even sent a card to my parents (by special post because I was leaving the country soon, explained later) thanking them for their hospitality. Now this is where things went wrong, you see, my brother lives in New Zealand so for this Xmas, me and my family went over there for 3 weeks, this meant that I couldn't (literally couldn't) contact her that much. I sent emails when I could but there was a two week gap where I sent her nothing. At the same time she was visiting friends in the USA. In short, it meant that we didn't see each other for 5 weeks which is as long as we were going out. But every day I thought of her and missed her. As soon as we met up again in the new year, we spent the day together but that night she sort of ended things. I spent a few weeks in the “what the hell just happened?” stage trying to bring her back, but I realise now that just drove her away. Then came a charity blind date that I went on. Somehow, don't ask me how but I slept with my ex the night before it and I don't really know how that happened. But we were getting on well. Then, she had a PGCE (a teaching course) interview for which she had to do a short presentation. Her 'friends' really didn't help and caused her to freak out. I knew this and said if she needed my help then I would. I really helped her, even though it was midnight. I stayed the night (no sex) to make sure she got up in time and to make her as prepared as possible. We then went on a 'date' the following night and had a great time again, she stayed the night in my room this time. The following night she was planning a small get together with friends most of whom I didn't know but I knew some. That night I got a little drunk and I don't really know what happened but my behaviour wasn't too bad (I've seen a lot worse). A few days later she called it off saying it was a mistake. Since then we have been in minimal contact, but I did spend one time on IM begging her to come back (BIG MISTAKE!) one week of NC followed but now we are in minimal contact again. Now, to make matters worse, she has started seeing another guy whom she says she is happy with (and I think she is). But she sent me a drunken text the other night and she has contacted me a few times. So to sum up the 10 main reasons why I've got it bad... Our relationship only lasted 5 weeks, such a short space of time but it was amazing and I really fell for her. It only ended because fate forced us to be apart (even though that sounds really corny).Her physical attraction to me wasn't what initially attracted her, it was my personality. Is this bad because if I am to get her back she needs to feel that physical attraction to start with?I made the mistake of begging, sending flowers etc.We got back together, only to separate a week later.She is seeing another guy, with whom she says she is happy.She lives on the floor above me and I can see her window from mine.I see her around college quite a bit.We are in contact via IM altough minimally.I also need to find a job and somewhere to live as I am leaving University soon.I have loads of work/reports/exams etc. I know that I shouldn't do anything to get her to break up with the new guy so don't worry there. I am not a bad person and all I want what is best for her, but I truly think that I am what is best for her. I want her to compliment, not complete me and vice-a-versa. I am feeling a lot better than I was, I'm calm, collected and I have made myself look a bit smarter. I am trying to move on and I am doing so, but I really feel love for her, even though our relationship lasted for such a short time. Any advice or if you've got it worse?
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