Taramere Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 And rightly so. Ive seen it from inside. It is not pretty sight. Take my advice. btw I flagged your sadistic post....some kid might get bad idea about what is normal reaction. Fair enough. I always forget that the irony thing lacks universal appeal.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I'm young, very early twenties and I've been with my boyfriend and lived with him for about two years now. Since we've been together he's mention that I have labia minora (I think those are the ones I mean) that stick out below my labia majora, they're not very smoooth either and the skin's even a little darker. Before I met him he hadn't been with a girl since he was in college and has been watching NOTHING but porn ever since (I actually mean a lot). He right away started talking surgery to me to get the undesirables reduced/removed. I've tried saying that porn is edited and that all those girls probably have had any bad looking vaginas airbrushed or surgery as well. That lips are normal for women. He retorts back that his highschool/college girlfriends never had anything like me. Like there's something wrong with me. He doesn't seem to get it and I'm a little lost. Basically, I have to feel inadequate because I'm not a porn star? I mean, I'm totally clean shaved for him, is labiaplasty really the next step? I guess I'm looking for a little opinion/advice on what to say/do. Thanks for your time. It really comes down to whether you yourself are happy with your body. Are you? Did it bother you before? If not, why should it matter now? Do you really want to be with someone who would suggest cosmetic surgery to "fix" something he thinks is abnormal? How does he treat you otherwise? Is he respectful? Does he value your opinion? Does he appreciate your 'down' days (sans makeup and with sweats)? You have to ask yourself if this is the sort of person you want to be with. What happens if you end up marrying him? Skin sags and wrinkles form. Will he then insist you get a face and breast lift? I think it's grossly disrespectful and hurtful for him to suggest not only that you are imperfect but that you don't compare to his exes (or that they were "normal" relative to you). Unless he is spectacular in all other departments and is willing to work on his tact and obviously flawed view of you, I'd seriously consider leaving him. Such a person is a cancer to your self-esteem and a real negative force in your life over all.
Gold Pile Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 If he can convince you that it's ugly, he won't have any worries about you showing it to another man....it's a control thing. He's emotionally abusive and will never change (he might pretend in the short term)... Dump him.
NuTuDating Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Ditch him. You are you and if he's thinking you're not beautiful, then someone else will. Don't even consider doing something like that for him. Shame on him. He's an idiot.
HokeyReligions Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I try never to jump in and advise someone to dump their bf/gf, but good grief girl! You are young and sound insecure and perhaps have some self-esteem issues. Here's your chance to improve yourself for real. Dump the jerk. Hold your head up and tell him to get lost. Turn the tables and use his manipulative ignorance to boost your own self confidence and self esteem by telling him to get lost, then pat yourself on the back for taking another step into your future.
Citizen Erased Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I'd be advising him that unless he wants to go back to looking at porn in his underwear, jerking off until he gives himself a rash, then he can put up with a completely normal and natural REAL vagina. If not, as a parting present I suggest you buy him a fake vagina. Just so he doesn't come crawling to you for sex in the weeks after you dump him.
Trialbyfire Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Have you checked his testicles lately? I'll bet he needs a weekly waxing and skin bleaching. Do yourself a favour and suggest it to him.
so_sad Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Just adding my vote to what I think is now a unanimous recommendation to GET RID OF THIS GUY. He sounds immature, selfish, unrealistic, nasty, and childish. You'll find plenty of men who love your hoo-ha just the way it is. There's nothing wrong with it.
Trialbyfire Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Stiletto power! One size six shoe to the butt. This should propel him rapidly out the door.
norajane Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I really want to know what can make a guy develop such an asinine, misogynistic attitude that a woman should cut off parts of her vagina in order to please his deluded sense of aesthetics? What?
AriaIncognito Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I suggest you get rid of the extra p*ssy. Not the one on your body but the one you are dating. Amen LB!! Well put! Seriously, if he has a problem with your meat curtains, let him go find someone else. Lots of men LOVE them.
burning 4 revenge Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 I can name various reasons why feminism is at fault but I tell you this - I can smell commie (anything anti-western-society- **** miles away. And it smells pretty bad. What makes you say feminism is anti-western? I think it's very western. Feminism in it's original form is what allowed people like Golda Meyer and Margaret Thatcher to become Prime Ministers. It has paved the way for Hillary Clinton to be seriously considered for the White House. Is that anti-western? Or a bad thing? Taramere is completely correct in placoing the blame for our contemporary superficiality on the pornification of our culture and feminism has nothing to do with it. Quite the opposite
Mustang Sally Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 What makes you say feminism is anti-western? I think it's very western. Feminism in it's original form is what allowed people like Golda Meyer and Margaret Thatcher to become Prime Ministers. It has paved the way for Hillary Clinton to be seriously considered for the White House. Is that anti-western? Or a bad thing? Taramere is completely correct in placoing the blame for our contemporary superficiality on the pornification of our culture and feminism has nothing to do with it. Quite the opposite Hear, hear! B4R, I have to say I a little shocked at the fact that I find myself completely agreeing with you... And I do like the term "meat curtains" Think I'll have to add that to my repetoire... You know. I suppose - in retrospect - that he is entitled, on some level, to like whatever it is that he thinks he likes... I just find it curious (and admittedly, rather ridiculous) that anyone would put such an extreme emphasis on such a thing. For example, I personally have never seen a penis and scrotum that I didn't think was at least a bit, well....silly looking. That's because I happen to think genitals in general (male and female) just aren't really that aestheically pleasing (visually speaking), per se. It's really the thought of the pleasure sensations that they evoke that does it for me - not the visual image of them for the sake of being genitals. And even though I've seen some penises (?peni?) that aren't the most beautiful things in the world (to me) I would never even THINK of asking a guy to have his genitals sugically altered. Nor have I ever let such feelings about the visual appearance of said genitals affect my desire or ability to "service" said genitals As long as they are healthy and (reasonably) hygienic, who cares?
Taramere Posted March 11, 2008 Posted March 11, 2008 Taramere is completely correct in placoing the blame for our contemporary superficiality on the pornification of our culture and feminism has nothing to do with it. Quite the opposite Thank you, b4r. I don't see how anyone can argue that societal pressures encourage women to have these things done. That said, I don't think it's an excuse for women to just cave in, do a Cindy Jackson (cosmetic surgery queen) then say "men/porn/societal pressure made me do it." Any woman who spends a lot of time figuring out how she could make her tits and vagina more akin to a porn star's really needs to find something in life to be passionate about - other than just her looks. I'm sure Darcey Bussell never lost sleep over being flat-chested when she was busy being one of the greatest dancers of her generation. JK Rowling is pleasant looking, but a lads' mag would probably grade her 6 out of 10 on a "not bad for an older bird" basis. Does she care? It's doubtful. I can't count the times I've read men delivering unflattering critiques about the looks of Sarah Jessica Parker. She gets on with it regardless, and she's had a great career. The other benefit, to a woman who's constantly stressing out about whether she matches up physically, of finding something else to be passionate about, is that she might actually encounter a man who also has some sort of passion beyond porn and the assessment of other people's physical appearance. Like attracts like.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Do you ever read the columnist Dan Savage? He always says...DTMFA. That means (earmuffs) Dump the Mother****er Already. Seriously. This is a common and completely normal anatomic variance. Any man who does not find your body to be beautiful JUST THE WAY IT IS is NOT worth your time. Besides, what if you got the surgery and there were side effects? Like for example, what if your orgasms weren't as strong or something> Would it still be worth it?
Dirk Diggler Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 He retorts back that his highschool/college girlfriends never had anything like me. Like there's something wrong with me. Simple fact is that you just have more pussy per square inch to love than the average woman. If your boyfriend cannot deal with the roast beef curtains, then his show is over. Exit stage right.
popey Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 this message certainly comes from no soap box. I am a feminist, but I have breast implants, (not by anyone's suggestion). I do wonder if this is just like choosing to color your hair, etc; or if the day will come when I look back and think, how silly that was of me. Anyway, here's an interesting point of view. http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437/
City_girl Posted March 14, 2008 Posted March 14, 2008 Dump his sorry ass. In a few years time a baby might have been through there, cellulite might cling to every surface below the waist and your boobies just might hang down to your naval. You need and deserve any man who enters your body to be appreciative and supportive. Don't go there.
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