woodthorpe Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 If you follow my posts you know I was doing well - on top of NC and a gradual acceptance of my life without him I have lost 9 pounds, done well in my job, and got a fab holiday booked for Easter - then WHAM - I get a bad result after a routine health check up. It may be serious (5%) but probably only minor (95%). I have more tests booked. Trouble is I can't forget the 5%, because the 5% is cancer. I don't know who to talk to - My dad died of cancer and my mum had cancer but survived, so I don't want to tell her unless she really had to know. I never talk to my brother or sister about health issues - basically I just want to tell HIM. We haven't spoken / texted / emailed for several weeks now and I am pretty sure he has a new woman. Finding out for sure would make me 10 times worse. Should I break NC and let him know (WHY ? - cos I need a hug). Perhaps it's another "bury myself in work" time coming up. Thanks xx
amaysngrace Posted March 10, 2008 Posted March 10, 2008 I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Have they sent you for further testing and when will you get the results? I read another one of your threads where you said you feel like you wasted your love on him because he didn't return it. Are you sure he is worth telling this sensitive information to? How do you think he would react? Will he make you feel better or worse? Just wondering because you have enough on your mind. If he acts like a creep about it you may end up feeling worse than you already do. And you certainly don't need that. I know it's not the same as him but here's a ((hug)). Stay strong. XO
Author woodthorpe Posted March 10, 2008 Author Posted March 10, 2008 Thanks for the reply amaysngrace, and big thanks for the hug. In answer to your question - I suppose I just want my friend back. We've never had a fight, not even an argument (just that stupid misunderstanding when he was drunk and I was being silly). I know at times I feel low and write stuff here, but he is a good guy, I just wasn't the right person for him. When we split up he wrote over and over again to tell me he was sorry he made me cry, sorry he broke my heart. If I wrote to him now he would be the same - gentle, sensible, tell me to concentrate on the 95%. BUT he would also tell me if he had met someone and that's what I don't want to know. He wouldn't be boasting or spiteful - he would just want me to know so I didn't turn up at his house unannounced and end up with awkwardness all round. Yes I do still care, but the realisation that there will never be "us" again is finally sinking in (after a relationship and two second chances !!!!!!). Doesn't stop me missing my friend though. By the way - I have to wait until July for the next tests and the results will be about 3 weeks later. It seems a long time away, but there's nothing I can do - that's how long you have to wait between tests. Thanks again, you really helped xx
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